Stephen King's The Dark Tower fantasy series has been a long-gestating white whale project in Hollywood, passing through countless development hands and having many promising false starts. Hopes were high when a feature film finally came to fruition in 2017 starring Idris Elba as the heroic Gunslinger and Matthew McConaughey as his Man in Black nemesis, only to be dashed when the film arrived as a slapdash, woefully truncated pastiche with little fealty to the beloved source material or its iconic characters, gunning down any hopes of a viable franchise.  Join Sebastian and Dark Tower superfan Rodney as they forget the faces of their fathers, as well as much of this movie, as they attempt to make sense of this mangled mess of an IP cash-in.