The Deep C

Kevin’s son Asher was diagnosed at 3 months old with LCH when it was still a very rare cancer diagnosis with minimal research and a trial and error treatment plan. Kevin’s wife Katy became the “medical” parent while he was the parent who kept life running. Kevin speaks candidly about their division of roles and how they kept an open and consistent line of communication with each other throughout Asher’s treatment as a way to stay connected and make sure the other was feeling supported and cared for.

Kevin shares his eternally optimistic attitude about Asher’s diagnosis, and how committed he and his wife Katy were to getting to the other side of treatment. Kevin also opens up about his feelings about their daughter who was 5 years old when Asher was diagnosed. He shares how painful it is to remember how his daughter felt during that time, and how she was the “forgotten sibling”, a pain so many parents with multiple children feel when one child has medical needs. Kevin is so gracious with his open and vulnerable feelings around his regrets, and by sharing his honest account of Asher's treatment, he connects us all because we know these exact feelings.

This conversation is both heartbreaking and also heart affirming, Kevin is an incredible dad to both his kids, and the way he describes the impenetrable bond he and Katy have on the other side of Asher’s treatment is absolutely beautiful.

This episode covers parenting dynamics through a cancer diagnosis, the roles we adopt, how we parent multiple children, and what it feels like to go back to normal too fast after treatment is done.

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My husband and I are VERY different, like we're about as opposite as it gets, but somehow we’ve found a way to intersect where it matters the most to us. We have our outside life where people at parties would think we're strangers, and our inside life where our roots grow so far and widespread you will never find where they end. 

When our daughter was diagnosed, our differences for some reason worked in our favour. He became our pillar of strength and I became our pillar of action. While he was holding her hand, I was holding our life. Both equally important. 

Our conversation in this episode exposes our differences in a way I think a lot of partnerships will relate. My husband, an internal processor, was head down, steady strokes, with a firm as hell resolve that we would make it to shore. I, on the other hand, the external processor, had to feel and experience everything - the drowning, the gasping, the sinking, and the darkness. Lots of darkness (still some darkness). But also the blinding light that inevitably follows - light like I've never, ever known. 

The different ways parents move through their child's diagnosis can be so complex and unique, both as individuals and partners, but the one common unwavering thread is the love we have for our children. 

There are no differences among us when it comes to that. 

McNabb family blog fromlandtoc.com

Email and reach out at [email protected]

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In today's episode Sam talks with her cancer therapist, social worker Laura Pasqualino about the tools and strategies Laura helped Sam apply during her daughter's treatment. Laura believes we already know the way through the darkness, we've just never had to access the resiliency and inner-guides until now. She gives examples of how she helps parents find their way, and how she teaches us to visit the pain, not live in it.

Laura holds a Master's Degree in Social Work from the University of Toronto and has over 25 years experience in both hospital and community settings. She is a program leader and consultant at Wellspring Cancer Support Foundation, and also runs her own private practice supporting oncology families throughout their child's treatment, and beyond.

Laura is a cherished guide for families carrying their children through treatment and has helped hundreds of parents through the darkest times of their lives. Her ability to sit in the pain with a parent and help to release feelings of shame, guilt, denial and anger is profound. Laura's decades of experience has given her a perspective and insight that brings parents comfort in knowing they aren't alone, and that the deepest most painful places can be safe to explore with someone who knows the terrain.

Therapy isn't for everyone and can oftentimes hold a stigma that we're weak or lack the resources ourselves to navigate our pain. If you're curious about how a therapy session sounds, this episode will give you a fly on the wall advantage of how Laura walks Sam through the terrifying fear of her daughter's diagnosis, and provides Sam with tools and insights to cope and manage in ways that give her hope, strength and lead her out of a dark place and towards the light.

If you'd like to find Laura, you can contact Wellspring and connect with her there.

https://wellspring.ca/

Wellspring Family Support

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Host Sam Taylor chats with Dawn who’s son Ollie was 7 when she noticed a tiny bump on his neck that wasn’t going away. After months of trying to get answers, with multiple doctors suggesting it was cat scratch disease or tuberculosis, they finally got a biopsy that concluded it was ALCL. Treatment began, Ollie relapsed, and with the cancer cells now in his central nervous system they attached themselves to his optic nerves. After waking up from a lumbar puncture, Ollie was groggy and asking to have the lights turned on. Sitting under the bright fluorescent beams of the recovery room, Dawn assumed he was still just coming out of it, but when Ollie persisted, she could tell something was very wrong. After multiple tests, they learned that Ollie’s cancer had caused severe optic nerve atrophy resulting in his permanent loss of sight. Now blind, Ollie continued treatment including a stem cell transplant using his older sister as his donor, during covid.

Dawn shares her journey of navigating Ollie’s cancer diagnosis and treatment and finding hope in the midst of darkness, and the importance of giving back to the community. She highlights the challenges of adjusting optimism in the face of uncertainty and the need to create a roadmap when there is no guidance. She also explores the concept of the gift of cancer and finding light in the darkness. Dawn talks about the difficult decision of having her daughter as a stem cell donor for her son and the difficult parenting conversations they were forced to have. She explains how she turned her experience into advocacy and awareness, particularly in the areas of blood donation and childhood cancer education. Dawn reflects on finding purpose and empowerment through her advocacy work and the goal of improving support and education for families in the oncology and vision loss communities.

https://www.accessforkidscancer.ca/

https://opvic.ca/

https://www.ontario.ca/page/special-education-advisory-committees

https://www.bloodcancers.ca/i-care-someone-blood-cancer/blood-cancers-kids-teens-young-adults/childhood-blood-cancers

https://www.lls.org/dare-to-dream

https://www.cnib.ca/

https://kidskickingcancer.ca/

https://www.blood.ca/en/stories/the-need-goes-on-14-mission-to-save-her-brother

https://olliesbump.blogspot.com/

https://www.pogo.ca/

https://www.instagram.com/cnib_ollies_hope/

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Host Sam Taylor talks to Cara whose daughter was two years old when she was diagnosed with Leukemia. Due to adrenal complications during treatment, Cara's daughter arrested and was placed on life support for 47 days in the ICU. Cara talks about coping through this dark and scary time, what helped to pull her through, and how once her daughter was done treatment, she felt like she'd lost her identity. Sam and Cara talk about therapy, how to best support a friend during treatment, the "bad words" that make them cringe and how they've found ways to live with the ever present knowing that cancer can always come back. Cara is the most proud of her daughters and being their mom, and she attributes her life to them - her greatest legacy.

Cara and Sam have a conversation like two old friends, sitting around a table, having a coffee and just catching up. Except instead of talking about the normal daily life stuff, they dive deep into the topics only other cancer parents can have with each other. The comfort and ease that comes with these vulnerable and honest chats can make oncology parents feel so seen, and so connected. We hope this episode gives you that familiar, relatable feeling of just being around friends who get you and who know where you've been, because I promise we do.

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Host Sam Taylor talks to her best friend musician Sarah Blackwood from Walk Off the Earth on all the ways friends and community can support a family through their child's cancer treatment. Sarah shares the ways they built an army of support, how they delegated tasks, and how they knew to ride the waves of treatment by sitting in the pain and fear of cancer and never trying to make it better. Sarah talks about her coping strategies through grief and trauma after her own personal loss, and how she found ways to stay active and helpful as a way to process her pain. Sarah and Sam give families take away tools to share with their own friend group, and they talk about what it's like to be so deep and dark in the ocean, and have friends who act as life preservers who pull you to the surface.

https://www.walkofftheearth.com/

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In recognition of International Childhood Cancer Day, join host Sam Taylor on The Deep C as she sits down with Sickboy to share how parents and caregivers learn to cope with their child's cancer diagnosis. Sam talks about how disorienting and lonely it is when a child is diagnosed, and how it feels like being tossed into the depths of the ocean. Sam shares how the only way to survive and to carry your child through treatment is to learn how to breathe underwater, to learn how to become a fish.

In this episode, Sam and Sickboy delve into the power of community, sharing personal stories and insights on how these connections can serve as lighthouses in the midst of the storm. Sickboy hosts Jeremie, Taylor and Brian lead Sam to share the deepest truths and emotions of her daughter's cancer, during treatment and into remission.

They discuss the reasons why Sam started The Deep C, and why it's so important for caregivers to have a community and an outlet to save themselves while they give all of their energy and strength towards saving their child.

https://www.sickboypodcast.com/

https://internationalchildhoodcancerday.org/

https://campfirecircle.org/

https://cedoughertyconsulting.org/

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In this episode of The Deep C, host Sam Taylor speaks with Carolyn, mom to four beautiful babies. When Carolyn's second baby Malcolm was 5 months old he was diagnosed with leukemia. In an instant, Carolyn and her partner were airlifted to CHEO (Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario) and admitted, during covid, while she was pregnant with their third child. For almost 6 months, Carolyn lived at CHEO with Malcolm while he received treatment. The hospital became Carolyn's home, and the nurses and doctors her family.

When Malcolm's treatment was complete and Carolyn and her partner were preparing to return home to North Bay, their team ran tests that determined Malcolm's cancer had returned, and it was terminal.  Carolyn bravely and lovingly shares the days leading up to Malcolm's passing, and the hours after. She does this for families like her, who are palliative or bereaved so that they don't feel alone and can find connection in this place of pain and uncertainty. Carolyn gives words to some of the most deep and profound emotions we can feel as parents, and she does it all with a grace and honesty that will expand your entire heart.

This episode covers child loss, bereavement and the death of a small child. When Carolyn begins to share about Malcolm's passing, there is a break where the host lets you know the conversation is shifting to sharing details about his death. Please sit with this information, take a break, and give yourself the space to decide if you'd like to continue listening. While Carolyn's description of Malcolm's passing is full of love, it may also cause triggers for listeners. Please be loving with yourself, and reach out for support. Below are the supports Carolyn used, as well as the supports the host mentions at the end of the episode.  This episode is dedicated to Malcolm 💛 

https://rogerneilsonhouse.ca/

https://wellspring.ca/online-programs/programs/all-programs/parents-of-children-with-cancer-support-group/

https://cedoughertyconsulting.org/

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In this episode of The Deep C, host Sam Taylor talks to Tamy, the mom of a 6-year-old powerhouse of a little dude being treated for relapsed neuroblastoma. Sam and Tamy talk about the shock of diagnosis, of what it’s like being in treatment for 5 years, and how it’s never an option to stop moving forward. Tamy shares her well earned coping strategies on scanxiety and relapse results, how she’s found community through her fundraising business Little Press Co. and how she’s learned to keep swimming, even in the roughest and darkest waters.

Tamy’s son’s treatment plan isn’t currently following any map or direct course, it’s constantly evolving, changing, and reacting on a daily basis. Despite the uncertainty and uncharted waters ahead, Tamy stays focused on her son and how he’s feeling, appreciating the days he feels good, and cherishing every second of his unstoppable grit and resilience. Tamy is a fighter, but she will be the first to tell you she gets it all from her son 💛 

Tamy’s website https://littlepressco.ca/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.