The Deeper Pulse with Candice Schutter

“My mouth is a fire escape. The words coming out don't care that they are naked. There is something burning in here.” ~ Andrea Gibson (RIP 🙏🏽💕)

It's time I spoke to the 'mean girl' label. It's been tossed around a bit too liberally for my taste, so I've decided to risk the high-road backlash and tell you what I’ve really been thinking and feeling. Am I a mean girl? I'll let you decide. I kick things off with an excerpt from a recent Patreon drop on parasocial influence — the one-sided connection we feel with a leader, influencer, or public figure who we’ve never met in person and/or have had only minimal contact with. From there, I discuss the sometimes imperceptible line folks draw between saying what’s real and mean-girling, and in doing so, I offer a critical heads up: Fawning isn’t friendship; it's high-vibe avoidance. Also, the postfeminist co-opting of 'cult'ure series content is something I saw coming, and alas, that day is here. I tell you why the recent launches of some high-profile Org apostates are about what I expected.

Referenced in this episode:

• The Madness Vase, by Andrea Gibson (book of poems)
• #84 - Q Her A (final episode of the ‘cult’ure series)
• STC #21 | Parasocial Relationships - Empathy & Influence In A Digital Age (full episode on Patreon)
• #59 - The Victim Label: Gaslighting, Victim Shaming, & Tone Policing for Social Control 

Support the show

The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.

Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates. 

This pic you see in the episode thumbnail was taken at an LA photo shoot back in 2002. I’m sharing it now because, in today’s pod release, I include personal stories that challenge the gender binary. And if your brain is suddenly scrambling to try and figure me out, that feeling you have is the entire point of this episode. Rather than jumping to conclusions, I hope you’ll listen in.

Today’s release takes a critical look at gender essentialism, the socially reinforced belief in a fixed gender binary. I kick things off with some personal stories, sharing why my girliest school photo is the cringiest, about the time I shaved my head in the early aughts, and the name of the book that had me performing "divine femininity" for over a decade. Newsflash: perimenopause can be a real bitch in the best possible way; I tell you how it’s helping me shed the she-shoulds and embrace fuller expression of my humanity. I define gender essentialism and the politics that drive it, speak to how the film industry fails women who are dog-tired of performing womanhood, and offer up a reminder that cis folks are the top consumers of gender-affirming care. I speak about how the most popular nonfiction book from the 90s repackaged and reified gender norms for decades to come, then offer a deep bow and wholehearted shout-out to trans folks who bear the weight of virulent projections because of our collective unwillingness to grapple with social conditioning. Challenging gender essentialism means braving cognitive dissonance and disrupting social norms; this episode may push some long-ago-installed buttons. Before you decide how you feel about it, I encourage you to listen to the entire episode AND explore every resource provided in the show notes (there are lots of folks expressing this stuff better than I can). You might be surprised where it lands you.

Referenced in this episode:

• The Cult of Gender w/ Maxx (TDP #70) w/ Maxx, Troy, & Lainie
• Elder Wisdom (TDP #23) w/ Katherine Howells
• Gender Trouble (Book), by Judith Butler
• If Books Could Kill (Podcast) - Men Are From Mars (Critique)
• ALOK: Biology! (YouTube) Comedy Special

Highly Recommended EXTRAS:

• Beyond XX & XY
• Mimi’s Story - Intersex
• In Defense of Misfits (more from Alok)

Support the show

The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.

Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates. 

Happy Pride month, y’all! Please help me to welcome lifelong activist and Arizona Drag Show organizer, Christopher Jay Hall, to the pod. Earlier this week, Christopher and his father were featured in a CNN article & this episode is a timely follow-up. Listen in as Christopher shares about his upbringing in rural Arizona, and how he & his dad have repaired their relationship in recent years. Despite his dad’s early-on rejection of his queerness, Christopher came out as a teen and fell heart-first into LGBTQ+ activism. He shares how working with countless nonprofits led to the emergence of his drag persona, Miss Nature. Miss Nature LLC travels regionally, working in collaboration with rural organizers to create inclusive spaces and provide information and resources to underserved communities. Arizona Drag Show performances are generally family-friendly events, which in recent years has led to some virulent pushback from the right, more specifically in the city I currently call home, Cottonwood, Arizona. Thankfully, Miss Nature and local organizers have refused to be bullied & this year the production is offering a larger-than-ever, sold-out performance. Christopher and I dig into some of the common misconceptions about drag (especially as it relates to children), and he shares why he remains steadfast when it comes to bringing LGBTQ+ support to rural areas similar to the one he grew up in. Miss Nature carries on, fierce and full of heart, even when she has to dance on culture-war eggshells to bring her and her glorious entourage on stage. I think my bestie said it best: "Drag Queens have always and will always exist & thank the gay gods for that!!!"

Christopher Jay Hall was born in Phoenix, AZ. He has lived all over the U.S. as a child, but spent much of his time growing up in Arizona. He has been in Tucson since 2013. He is a graduate of Northern Arizona University with a Bachelor’s in Public Administration. Christopher loves bringing people together from all walks of life to help support a common cause amongst groups that normally might not come together. He does this best as his persona, Miss Nature, whom he has been bringing to stages across the country for more than a decade. Miss Nature looks forward to bringing the art of drag to new communities that have yet to experience it. She produces the annual Arizona Pride Tour, which is set to expand into New Mexico in 2026. 

To learn more about her, visit ⁦MissNatureLLC.com.⁩

Referenced in this episode:

• Read the CNN article 
• Interview with David Gallegos-Roybal
• Free Held (Movie 2015)

Support the show

The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.

Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates. 

“Be Like Penny.” If you visit my current hometown of Cottonwood, Arizona, you’ll see these three words displayed around town. Penny Smith was a friend to many and a living example of how everyday citizens can make a meaningful difference in their local communities. She passed away in 2021, but her legacy lives on in the hearts of those who know and love her, and also through The Penny Peace Project. 

In this episode, I’ll introduce you to Julie Fernatt and Llama Habern, the founders of ROI (Rural Organizing Initiative). Thanks in large part to Penny’s supportive efforts, in 2023, Cottonwood was a planned tour stop for a regional drag company. Evangelical religious leaders mobilized their communities to turn up in droves, and city council meetings became contentious, escalating to threats of violence toward city leaders and community members. That’s when ROI and its partners organized a nonviolent response that effectively silenced right-wing agitators. Listen in to learn how they did it.

ROI currently provides civic engagement and supports candidates for local and county offices. Julie & Llama share how community organizing clears channels of communication and helps to build lasting, non-partisan coalitions. We also discuss: running for local office, fundraising, and the upcoming No Kings protest.

Local activism is accessible to all and with a little effort, we can all be more like Penny.

Rural Organizing Initiative (ROI) is a 501(c)4 non-profit corporation operating in Northern Arizona. ROI promotes full participation in democracy by providing civic education and by supporting/coaching potential candidates for local and county offices. Learn more at roi.vote.

Referenced In This Episode:

• Reach out to ROI for support
• Learn more about Penny Smith
• Find an Indivisible group near you
• Attend a NoKings Protest near you

Support the show

The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.

Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates. 

Nikki G isn’t the type to say “I told you so.” Nevertheless, it was just one year ago when she was on the podcast, walking us through the evangelical vision behind Project 2025 and the looming theocratic dominionism of the far right. Now that the NAR agenda (see Ep.81) is coming to pass, she’s back to regroup. Nikki & I discuss how to maintain sanity and balance under narcissistic rule, what it means to occupy our lane in the resistance, and why an understanding of cult dynamics is such a pragmatic consideration right now. We talk leadership, the intoxication of power, and standing arm-in-arm, steadfast and unwavering in our values, while leaders attempt to colonize our thinking and rob us of hope. This episode is a jam-packed dialogue offering support and a collectivist call to action.

For more with Nikki, also see TDP Ep.77 + Ep.81 & 82.

Nikki G. is a Certified Trauma Recovery Coach who helps survivors recover and thrive after Religious Trauma & Cult involvement. She is also a survivor of multiple narcissistic relationships, religious trauma, and several cultic communities. Nikki is the CEO of Nikki G Speaks LLC, which provides survivors with individual coaching, online community, and psychoeducation related to religious trauma, narcissistic abuse, and cult involvement. Nikki is a co-host of the podcast Surviving the Black Church, where she and her co-hosts delve into conversations regarding religious trauma in the Black Church. She is also the co-founder of The Black Religious Trauma Recovery Network, and she sits on the board of directors for Tears of Eden, a nonprofit that supports survivors who have experienced abuse in the evangelical community. 

nikkigspeaks.com | @nikki_g_speaks

Referenced In This Episode:

• Project 2025 Tracker

Support the show

The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.

Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates. 

Here's a preview of a bonus drop now streaming on Patreon. It's a peek behind the scenes at where we'll be heading next, with a critical examination of leadership that's likely to push some buttons. If you want to listen to the whole episode, you can access it via a 7-day free trial at patreon.com/thedeeperpulse.

Sliding-scale membership starts at just $5 per month. Subscription fees keep the main feed of this pod ad-free. 

I'll be back here on the main feed in May. You can also find me on Substack in the meantime. 

Support the show

The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.

Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates. 

Time for another encore! Ep.80 is even more relevant now than when I recorded it one year ago. And in the newly updated intro, I share audio from Saturday's Hands Off Protest in Flagstaff, Arizona - one of over 1400 protests around the globe where over 5 million individuals said aw-hell-no to the Trump regime's patriarchal power flex. Daddy issues are alive in the zeitgeist right now and, like it or not, they are shaping our collective responses (or lack thereof). This episode takes a closer look.

Ep.80 (original release date May 1, 2024) — Candice opens with an anecdote about an awkward interpersonal interaction with a Fox News enthusiast, then gets personal, sharing from the pages of her unpublished memoir. Through a series of intimate flashbacks, she examines how her loving yet over’bear’ing stepfather shaped her people-pleasing persona early in life and what it may have taught her about the social costs of speaking up. The episode then circles back to an early theme in the ‘cult’ure series convo - don’t poke the bear - riffing on how social systems reward bullying behavior and confuse everyday allies with villains. She touches upon some hot-button topics; all the while speaking about why doing so feels so damned edgy - especially in the digital age. And she introduces TDP listeners to some of the folks she's been watching closely to learn more about their refreshing responses to trolls and haters.  Learn what Candice considers "bully backlash bingo" as listen in as she shares her ongoing fascination with whistleblowers. Then (sorry-not-sorry) things get political as she paves the way for where the ‘cult’ure series is headed next. 

Referenced In This Episode:

• Robert Jay Lifton
• John Lewis - Good Trouble
• Brittany Voie & The Wonder Woman video
• Alok Vaid-Menon on Instagram
• One Way Back: A Memoir, by Christine Blasey Ford
• Doppelganger: A Trip Into The Mirror World, by Naomi Klein

Support the show

The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.

Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates. 

I'm doing a lot of deep breathing lately, and I know I’m not alone. A helluva lot of Americans are feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, and preoccupied by a single question: What can I possibly do in response to a billionaire-funded fascist coup?  Long-time friend of the pod, Susan McCulley, is here to help us find a few answers to that question. No, she's not a seasoned activist or recognizable political figure; she's an everyday citizen like me. And in November 2024, she and her friends in Charlottesville, Virginia created an online Facebook Group called Keep Going Together. Since then, it has grown into a grassroots organization of 400+ individuals who are doing activism in their own way. Susan shares how KGT came to be and how she and her community are turning their despair into a local grassroots movement. Then she shares 4 Q's that can help each one of us jumpstart a personal approach to social activism. If you don't fancy yourself a conventional "activist" but you're feeling eager to join the growing resistance, this conversation is for you!

Susan McCulley has been a mindful movement leader, artist, and writer since 2000. She is a founder of Keep Going Together, a grassroots organization working to support local non-profit organizations that reduce harm and suffering in the Charlottesville area ~ with a side of protest and boycott. Susan loves guiding embodied awareness with people of all abilities and experiences, in groups of all sizes, both in person and online. She is passionate about supporting people as they connect with the inherent wisdom of the body and take their practice into life, and to their own version of activism.

Referenced In This Episode:

• KeepGoingTogether.Org
• KGT Facebook Group
• Shannon Downey - Bad Ass Cross Stitch
• Jessica Craven's Chop Wood Carry Water (a great place to start!)

Support the show

The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.

Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates. 

I’m just gonna leave this right here. It's an encore presentation of an episode I dropped almost two years ago. Ep.59 is ripe for a reboot because fascism has come for America, and much of what I speak to here has become an everyday norm. I’ve re-recorded the intro to reflect our current reality, and I hope you listen to the end, where I take a closer look at tone policing and why it works to silence us. (Spoiler: knowledge can help us to beat them at their own game.)

Ep.59 (original release date July 5, 2023) — Candice is back with another solo episode, asking some big questions: What is gaslighting? Why are so many people allergic to the word victim? And is spiritual dogma eroding accountability?  The episode opens with an exploration of spiritual supremacy and how/why social stigmas around victimhood have become so prevalent. Candice shares personally about her long and messy history with gaslighting and how devotion to new ageism only added to her confusion. She challenges the notion that all suffering is meant, then breaks down the cognitive biases that fuel a victim-blaming/shaming culture. Victimhood isn’t something we choose, and it’s shame-inducing because it is very often culturally conflated with learned helplessness. Examples are offered, as well as a critical look at the impossible standards that victims (and/or advocates who speak out on their behalf) are held to. Tone policing is defined and examined as a deflection of accountability, as well as other tools in the arsenal of those who are truly "playing the victim"… aka co-opt the language of the oppressed to justify retaliation in the face of restorative resistance.
 
Referenced in this episode:

• Conspirituality: How New Age Conspiracy Theories Became a Health Threat, by Derek Beres, Matthew Remski, & Julian Walker
• Conspirituality podcast episode #148: Marianne Williamson & Asshole Jesus
• Nicki Clyne Leaves Keith Raniere - her statement
• Conflict Is Not Abuse: Overstating Harm, Community Responsibility, and the Duty of Repair, by Sarah Schulman
• Shiny Happy People (documentary) on Amazon Prime
• Punishment Is Not Accountability, article by Kate McCord with the Virginia Sexual & Domestic Violence Action Alliance

Support the show

The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.

Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates. 

I'm back. Because silence isn't an option right now. In this episode, I share how graduate study / critical inquiry into leadership and social psychology is helping me make sense of an upside-down world. Groupthink, aka hive mind, isn't just a 'culty' thing. Conformity happens everywhere along the political spectrum. I speak to how unspoken "display rules" keep us from speaking up, then make the argument that Democratic leaders in Washington desperately need to ditch cultural etiquette in order to demand accountability. I also share J. W. Brehm's theory of reactance, which can help us to better understand friends and family members on the MAGA/MAHA right who continue to double down on misinformation. Bombarding them with actual facts will likely backfire, and I tell you why. Lastly, and most importantly, I talk about pluralistic ignorance - what it is & why understanding it is absolutely essential in the fight against fascism. Self-regulation works great for peace of mind, but it can operate like a sort of pathology when it keeps us from protecting one another and demanding justice.

Referenced in this episode:

• The Social Animal, by Elliot Aronson
• Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini
• What is Group Think? Online PM Courses
• My two-part interview w/ Aimee Van Ausdall
• Conspirituality Brief: Antifascist Woodshed 2 (Punching Nazis?)
• Keep Going Together - Facebook Community led by Susan McCulley

Support the show

The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.

Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.