The Devil's Advocates Show

The Justice League is DC's answer to the Avengers. Both groups go way back in comic book history, but Marvel's movies based on their stable of superheroes have been tremendously more liked. Maybe because they took the time to cultivate the story of each character over the course of years, rather than just try to introduce all the main characters in the subplot of a single movie already hampered by a stupid premise, pitting Batman against Superman for no conceivable reason.

Batman v. Superman let everyone down, but DC fans hoped that Suicide Squad would redeem the DC universe. It did not. It may have actually made it worse. So, any hope still left resides in the actual Justice League movie. Does the trailer give any hope? Listen and find out. Or just watch it. You know you're going to see this movie. And then regret it.

Remember Pizzagate? No? Then you're a sane, employed individual. There were those who believed Hillary Clinton was involved in a Satanic pedophile traffic ring based out of a pizza restaurant. One of the people who pushed this story was trusted news source to the president, Alex Jones of infowars. Even he admitted now that pushing that hoax was stupid. (Hoax? is that word really necessary? Any sane person would never believe that... would they?) So where do we go from here? To the motherland, probably.

The Fleshlight Launch powered by Kiiroo is the hot new product that pairs with the Fleshlight to completely automate the sex act so you can remove all manual labor from the equation. This may not seem like a big deal, but they've also put bluetooth in the thing so that it can sync to special porn videos to simulate what's going on in the scene. Combine that with VR, which is already part of some of thee videos, and you can start to see how the Fleshlight Launch could be of some interest. I'm not sure if things will ever get to the point where we can fool ourselves with technology, but is sure is fun taking the journey.

The Obamacare Replacement Plan has been unveiled by Paul Ryan, and everyone is very excited to harness the power of the free market to drive costs down by giving consumers the power to shop around. If there's one thing the Republicans understand, it's that Americans love shopping. However, one cannot help but wonder as the blood drains from your bullet wound whether or not this is the best time to be doing some shopping. Is Trumpcare a lateral move, a downgrade or an upgrade? It depends more on you than the facts. If you want to like it, you will. If you want to hate it, you will. If you want pretend we're living in an alternate reality where none of this has happened, give me pointers on how you do it.

Wanna go to a brothel? Me too! Wanna go to one that consists only of sex dolls? Me neither! But some people do, I guess, in Spain since they opened just that - a sex doll brothel. The dolls are sanitized in between patrons. Too bad the same can't be said for the real thing. Chlamydia is the gift that keeps on giving.

I could talk about this sex doll brothel all day, but here's something: Beauty and the Beast is a tale as old as time. Like a song as old as rhyme, you might say. However, we're less interested in the officially gay live action movie than we are the concept of beauty and the beast as income generators. A new study indicates that extremely unattractive people make more money than hot people. This seems to go against everything we have learned during our time here on Earth, but perhaps the infinitely outcast have found a way to exact their revenge upon the attractive people who tormented them long ago: by being their boss. "Clean out the wastebaskets." "But I'm the social media director..." "You heard what I said."

Bill Paxton died. So that's sad. Many of our favorite quotes come from Bill Paxton movies, and this week we honor him in a very special way. Meanwhile, a free press is the cornerstone to a democracy. This opinion is widely help by those not in a vegetative state, and even shares supporters on both sides of the political aisle. Trump says the press is the enemy of the people. Most of the American people are still busy laughing about how stupid and horrifying our new president is, but the laughing should probably stop now, because the idea of free press just died in front of eyes. Trump refused to let in the media outlets that he doesn't like because they're not nice. CNN, the New York Times, BBC and others were not allowed in to the informal press conference. That's how you start a dictatorship, but hey whatever let's all route for La La Land in the Oscars, it's a magical journey of two impossibly attractive people facing marginal levels of adversity for about an hour. Nothing to see here, folks.

Milo Yiannopoulos is a senior editor at Breitbart, the website that blurs the lines between conservative news and conspiracy theories. In the past year he has gained a lot of notoriety for his paradoxical and passionate viewpoints. He loves Trump and Catholics; not as big a fan of gays and transgenders. He is an openly gay man. One might say extraordinarily gay; steeped in gayness. He caused a lot of controversy by saying Leslie Jones looks like a dude and is illiterate. He's the poster child for the saying "You're not wrong, you're just an asshole." Bill Maher had him on Real Time this week and everyone lost their minds... which is exactly what he wanted. Watching people fall right into a trap set by a man of average intelligence but above average semen consumption is always a treat, but Milo Yiannopoulos may have finally met his match during the overtime clip wit Malcolm Nance. Arguing with Milo Yiannopoulos is like being called as a witness to defend yourself in court: stay calm, stick to the facts and you might just beat this thing.

SNL has brief periods of success bookended by decades of mediocrity. This year, we're in the success period as SNL finds themselves with ratings higher than the last 10 plus years. So, what was the secret? Trump mainly; the rest of the secret seems to be having people who aren't cast members of SNL play the important parts on the show. So, the less SNL people involved, the better SNL seems to be. Most of us could've figured that formula out without having to elect a mildly retarded man baby to make it obvious, but hey enlightenment is better late than never. On the plus side, if Rosie O'Donnell plays Steve Bannon, it might piss Trump off so much that he'll self destruct. More so.

This week had most Americans trying to remember the fog of high school to piece together just what an executive order is. With so many executive orders being issued this week by Trump, just what power do they actually have? What is the point of an executive order? Aren't there checks and balanced? If you're looking to educate yourself on this complex subject, listen to this episode. And then go listen to intelligent people who actually know what the hell they're talking about.

Bane was the villain in the third Batman movie from Christopher Nolan. He was a psychopath and a terrifying presence, so it shouldn't be surprising that when Trump thought about what to say at his inauguration, he would lift a few lines from the speech Bane gave in the movie. The speech was to convince people that what was happening was in their best interest, even though it was really a plot to destroy everyone. So as you can see, there aren't any further similarities beyond those few lines. Everything is going to be fine. Trump is not Bane. Say it a few more times to help convince yourself.

VR Porn has been the dream all men have lusted after ever since that scene in Demolition Man with Sylvester Stallone and Sandra Bullock. We're getting dangerously close with the advent of the Oculus Rift, and people everywhere should be concerned that potential partners aren't going to take their crap anymore. Once they can just be single and, with a decent automatic sex toy, simulate sex close enough to not care about trying to maintain a miserable relationship, the entire institution of marriage might start to break down. Good riddance. One of the most responsible companies for this paradigm shift is Badoink, the clear leader in quality VR porn for all devices. If you're getting into VR porn, do yourself a favor and don't waste time trying to figure out where to get it. As you'll hear on the show, Badoink is the best place to get VR porn - it's the highest quality out there. 4k, 60fps, 3D, 180 degree bliss. Say goodbye to your wife.