All moved in and happy...except for the blaring audio system from school across the street during athletic events, application in for PhD program and awaiting final interview, great works of art being meticulously gone over and over, it would be weird to date a woman who did makeup on dead people for a living, still hard not to enjoy Michael Jackson's music despite knowing..., if you were God would you still have created Michael knowing what you know, I think people who are religious stress less, my plastic super dad statue as a reminder, we're only responsible for our energy, does the Dalai Lama ever get insecure, the mexican guy with the maga hat and shirt on at the gym, where I am with comedy right now.

Recorded from the Bay Club Hotel in San Diego the day before I shoot a commercial, Oscars 2019, working an Oscar pre party and why all the rich celebrities look depressed, wanting to get my PhD because I don't think I can, the death tribute part of the Oscars and wanting to joke at inappropriate times, weirdness of depositing checks quickly just in case I die before, my desire to help people as a psychologist, and why do we start the weekday calendar with Sunday for crying out loud?

I decided to try and get my PhD! And what led to that coming about. Moving to Burbank for my daughter's school, cable companies desperate bundles, the case of Jussie Smollett, and my horrible but sort of successful attempt to see Michael Jordan when the Bulls played the Lakers back in the day.

Podcasting from Houston Texas in my hotel room, Birthday massage and the sign in the lobby, taxi drivers going down with the ship, older people thinking they are smarter than a GPS, "My 600lb Life" reality tv show, my Ancestry DNA asking me to celebrate black history month with them cause I'm officially black now, and a friend who had to prep her horse pre Equestrian competitions. 

Death pose and other irrational thoughts about having a clean house and depositing checks in case I were to die, Jussie Smollett hate crime beating...or was it? I'm half black so I've technically been a black man for half my life, only a madman would do a solo podcast, comics saying, "the other day...", I'm staying sober but it's difficult because I've had such inspirational parents, 23andMe and seeing attractive "very distant" cousins, and whether the markers of my dna test results are accurate. 

I think the Starbucks guy might have thought I was homeless, Orgasmic Meditation (OM) retreats where woman get fingered in the name of spirituality, the actuality of having multiple wives must be dreadful, transgender peeps are getting extremely confident these days, the term "foodie", Chris Brown drama in Paris, controversial Michael Jackson documentary about to drop, is it weird that my daughter's invisible friend has the same exact name as my invisible friend when I was a kid...yeah I had an invisible friend.   

Ghosting should be called something else because at least ghosts acknowledge you exist, imagine actual clowns getting jealous of other clowns, having a new iPhone without a case, when will my daughter start remembering things...question, identity thiefs gotta know what type a person you are before they steal your credit card, in this social climate it’s even racist if you give a specific group of people a compliment, exchanging money from daughters piggy bank and getting ripped off, handicap stall crap.

Free Starbucks coffee for the month of January mug, staying sober, teaching kids how to walk on the runway job, young people who want to get into modeling dilemma, editorial photo shoot with positive Asian guy on set, nutrition trainer guy on set I tried to impress, switching from wanting to be liked for looks to wanting to be liked for sense of humor, and homeless guy who used 7 Splenda packets in his small coffee. 

New Year's diets and why fad diets will never work for long term. The overly expensive but worth it gym called Equinox and how I try and get my money's worth. Ancestry DNA's surprise matching with my half sister who I haven't seen in 20 years and my phone call with her. Buying the retro Candyland board game on Amazon for my daughter and her beating me and her mom the very first game.

Recap of 2018's standup, hosting, podcasting, and having sex one time. Sobriety and my life being completely free of any alcohol and all drugs including saying no to mama's organic weed garden. Goals for 2019, including standup, funny videos for my comedy brand Mr. Straight Face, more podcasts, and continue being a great dad for my daughter. Awe...aren't I special