The Dildorks

Humor is one of the most popular traits people look for in a partner, and in this week's episode, we talk a little bit about why. Find out if we think laughing during sex kills the mood, why Starbucks will always make Bex think of failed cunnilingus, and what exactly is a dom-edian?

Attraction to Humor | Humor & Intelligence | Talk Flirty to Me | Humor Masking Vulnerability | Improv | My Brother, My Brother and Me | Flavors of Funny | Laughing During Sex | BAMF Threesome | Coach Bex | Giggly Kink | Dom-edian | Mark Hamill Joker | Contagious Laughter

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

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This week we're joined by Cooper S. Beckett – author, podcaster, relationship coach, and swinger! The three of us chatted about being publicly sexy online, navigating consent with the people we write about, and the various personas we juggle.

Swinging Resources | Sharing Experiences | Crista Anne | Breaking the Social Contract | Anxiety & Depression | Sex Is Fun | Kissing Kidder | Pseudonyms | Shyness | Sex Is Political | Writing About Partners | Wear It Like Armor | Intimacy Imbalances | Personal Evolution | Women's March

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

Ever wonder which sex toy marketing trends we want to light on fire and banish to hell? In this episode we rant about the toy-marketing tropes that really rustle our jimmies. Find out which companies we hate, which ones we admire, and why a penis tuxedo provoked the ire of sex toy reviewers worldwide.

Sex Toy Retail | JeJoue MiMi Soft | Gendered Lube | Big Manly Dildos | Dehumanizing Language | Fleshlights | Butch Fun | Womanizer | Lelo Pino | Hot Octopuss Pulse | Grungy, Sleazy Sex | "Better Than The Real Thing" | Topco's "Fucked" Line | Problematic Kinks | Infomercial Products | Racial Fetishization | Dick Tux | Sensual Tux Man | Lifestyles Tuxedo Condoms | Orgasm Guarantees | Satisfyer | Pure Wand | "Innovation" | Lelo Condoms | Little Chroma | Funkit Toys | PicoBong Transformer

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

Our hearts are all a-twitter over the fine art of social media flirting! In this episode, we share tips for communicating interest in timeline posts and tweet-sized chunks. Find out why Bex loves giving flirting advice, how Kate met her fave FWB on Twitter, and why tweet-liking is our favorite secret flirt code.

Pungle Cruise | Flirting Mind Palace | Courtesy Swipes | Dr. Nerdlove | Facebook Flirting | Strategic Tweet-Faving | Sliding Into DMs | Creeping Selfies | Adding Value | Read the Room | Conversation Skills | Red October | Cognitive-Behavioral Strategies | Creepy vs. Direct | "Is This a Good Time to Flirt With You?" | Self-Deprecating Humor | Flirt Fetishist | Oversexualization | Uber Eats Driver | Yes, That's the Joke | Subtweeting | "Utterly Smokingly Hot" | Pigtail Patterns | Puppies!!!

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

How did we come so far (and so many times!) without talking about masturbation?! In this episode we wax poetic about whackin' off. Find out how we fumbled our way to our first orgasms, what we fantasize about mid-wank, and what Mr. Incredible has in common with a Hitachi Magic Wand.

Jerking Off | Elbow Sex | God's Plan | Religious Fisting | How Many Fingers? | Homejerk | Puberty Book | Extra-Long Baths | There's That Hole! | Hot Dog Bun | Glass Dildo | Mustang, Maverick & Uncut | A-Spot | Tantus Tsunami | The Incredibles | Time Crunch | Shopping While Hungry | Being Walked In On | Sex Playlists | Eroscillator | Interruptions | Masturbation Vs. Partnered Sex | Non-Linear Fantasies | Double Trouble | Exhibitionism | Liberator Throe | Sexting | Sex Shops

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

2017 is looming and we're doing our best to stay cocktimistic. In this episode, we discuss our sex goals for the coming year, and how we plan to achieve them. Find out why Kate is stepping back from dating for a while, what Bex hopes to have done to them in front of an audience, and why we both need to stick our faces in some vulvas real soon.

Comics as Spanking Implements | Sunstone | Promiscuity and Empathy | Cockadile Hunter | Bipolar II | Love Addiction | Social Anxiety | Magic Wand | Pangea | Submit | Cakehole | Katamari Damacy | One-Night Stands | Kate McKinnon | Queerness | Fisting | Age (It's More Than a Number) | VULVAS | MakeLoveNotPorn | Flogging | Public D/s | Suspension | Profesh Goalz | Woodhull | AltSex Conference |  MySpace | Kissing

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

Kate and Bex bring us a 2016 round-up the only way they know how: by talking about all the times they got fucked the way 2016 fucked us all. Hear their most vital sex stats, including how many people they fucked, where they boned them, and how often they came. Find out what sex act Kate only realized she was into this year and hear about how Bex realized they were a pup. They discuss the parts of their life that cockblocked them the most this year and even brainstorm what a Dildorks drinking game might look like!

Sex Spreadsheet | Defining Sex | Sex Stats | One-Night Stands | Locations | Threesomes | BJ Epiphany | Butt Virginity | Skype Sex | Alleyway Makeouts | Surprise Doms | BJs | New Kinks | Puppy Play | Pup Erotica | Terrible BJs | Orgasm Report Cards | Robotic Sex | Sex Standing Up | Sixty-Nine |  #IUDiary | Skyla | Dildorks Drinking Game

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

OkCupid and Tinder are garbage fires, but occasionally you can find a diamond in the trash heap. In this episode, we give you the low-down on online dating: our favorite sites, our successful and not-so-successful dates, and our best tips for better matches. Plus, find out how Bex managed to have a threesome on a first date, and why Kate's one-night stand from Minneapolis sent her an apology a month later.

Tinder vs. OkCupid | South Park | Show, Don't Tell | Compatibility Percentages | The End of Tinder | You Should Message Me If... | Conversation Starters | Obscure References | Kink Hints | Manic Pixie Dream Bean | Sex-Nerd Chats | Fizzling Out | An Excess of Cis Dudes | First-Date Threesome | Long-Term Ex | Unfeminist Ex | The Uber of Sex | "Makeouts, Etc." | Proofread Your Shit | Tutu to the Symphony | First-Message Formula | Pet Names | Commonalities | Tinder Guys With Tigers | Swipe Right For Dogs | Group Shots | Ace Ventura | Queer Apps | Social Media As Motivation

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

It's time for us to talk smack about smackin'! Let us regale you with tales of Bex's birthday spanking party, Kate's mid-bang spanking lesson, and the saddest paddlin' either of us has ever participated in. We also tell you our favorite toys to hit people and get hit with! (Content note: this episode contains a minute-long discussion of self-harm at the 37:30 mark, and mentions bruises throughout.)

Early Morning Podcasting | Rainbow Bagels | #BirthdayBruises | Teaching Vanilla Boyz to Spank | 1-10 Scale | Suz | Face-Sitting | Platonic Spanking | Tantus Pelt | Good-Dick Garbage-Human | Punishment vs. Reward vs. Service | Tinder Tops | Gateway Kink | "That Girl on NCIS" | Ducky Doolittle | Sadists | Subspace | Kinkmergency | Enthusiasm | Mental Health | The Saddest Spanking Party | Bruises on a Bus Ride | Jillian Keenan | Bruises | Spit Scene: Good Girl | Pervertables | Sex with Shakespeare | Bible Paddle | Lolita | Book of Erotic Fantasy | Stay Paddle | Leather and Lattes | Stone Crop | Taylor J Mace | Kink Machine Works

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

Sexting isn't all hot commands and flowery prose: there's a visual element too! This week we pontificate on sexy selfies. What makes for an exceptional nude? Why are dick videos superior to dick pics? And why did we once snap a boob selfie together on a rainy highway in Wisconsin? Tune in for the naked truth!

Trust & Vulnerability | Smiles | Disembodied Torsos | Strap-On & Wink | Selfie Sticks | Butt Selfie Tips | Selfie Yoga | Signature Poses | MySpace Angles | Suz's Butt | Artificial Cleavage | Renaissance Painting Nudes | Boner Through Underwear | Jeans Unbuttoned | "Cute Boys" Folder | Critique My Dick Pic | Hand For Scale | Dick Videos | Consent | Slow-Mo J.O. | Inanimate Sexy Pictures | The Boss Fight of Nudes | Reacting to Nudes | Slut-Shaming | Dicks in Blankets | "I Found a Fork!" | Snapchat | Pornkémon

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.