The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by former Opta ace Duncan Alexander for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among Duncan's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are lesser-known football-influencing dogs, the exact threshold at which an act of showboating triggers widespread hand-wringing and the poor souls who volunteer as assistant referees in youth football.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel mull over a third dimension to send a goalkeeper the wrong way with a penalty.

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