The Dunce Caps

This week Rob and Chris are in Rome, but also China...They're kinda connected at this point, anyway, this guy Marius becomes the new hero of Rome then retires, but comes out of retirement because he's jealous of this guy Sulla, who's way younger and insaner then he is, but in a different way, cause he ends up burning down Rome to restore order with his new side kicks Pompey and Crassus; the three of them are what you call a Triumvirate. Also China is in there somewhere too.... its complicated to say the least.

TLDR: These Chinese guys sleep under their horses and get away.

This week Chris and Rob learn about Romes never ending slave problem. Meanwhile the Greeks and Carthage get shut down once and Scipio starts losing it after burning down to many villages. But then his men cheer him up by pooping on the ashes. The guys also learn about some interesting jobs in Rome, like the dead body tour guide and the cliff guys.

TLDR: "Don't you matter what happens there." Sicilian slave owner

This Chris and Rob are back in ancient China, but also Greece kinda too. Worlds are finally colliding! Chou Zou doesn't care if you used to fight him, or hate, but if you cursed him...that's where he draws the line! Then some kids crazy mom takes over China, but the people kill her so China is leaderless for a while, and THINGS ARE GREAT! But per usual barbarians show up with their Tim Ferris audio books and China must regroup to form a government. Finally the guys get to dive deeper into the life of a nomad by learning about their skull mugs, what its like working next to one of these nomads in an office and their armored woodland friends. Did you know that Wizards always have leaves on them? All this and more on this episode of The Dunce Caps!

TLDR: "Bring bread-sticks & a wizard with you."

This week the guys watch everyone fight for Greece because they have jet-skis and good crabbing. Rome pretty much dominates everyone, but all they really want are some new elephants. Meanwhile Hannibal has some tough interviews with fellow anti-Roman DJs. This guy Perseus eats to many benzos and kills people. Plus the Jews seek revenge while hiding in the trees.

TLDR: The Bear Jew

This week the guys watch Carthage terrorize Rome with whatever Elephants they have left, lead by Hannibal, the king who once slept on a dead dog cause is father asked him too... for real. Also Rob shares his love for TJMaxx!

TLDR: Elephants love zeppoles

This week the guys are back in Macedonia, but this time its super confusing cause all the important people have the same names with different numbers next to them and there's a dramatic slutty sister slash wife involved banging all the brothers. Meanwhile the Gauls slowly start to figure out that they need to sleep away from their poop and there are a bunch elephants stuck on Sicily.

TLDR: Powerman 5000

Sometimes the guys get caught up when doing their soundchecks. This is one of those times.

TLDR: Chapter 72 soundcheck

This week the guys are still in ancient China, formerly known as a cluster fuck. First they meet young Cheng, the Justin Beiber of Chinese government, who grows up too burn all of China's historical literature and DVDs... except for any renditions of Annie cause it's his favorite. Cheng organizes has the biggest 'team building exercise' known to man called; "Building The Great Wall of China! (Stop! China Time!)". Also the guys pay off a health inspector with classic Ben Franklin hoagie with extra LETTUCE (wink wink)

TLDR: "We don't have a lot of time...I hear them."

This week the guys are in old school India but this chapter is short so who cares about a description.

TLDR: Trump turns Buddhist

This week the guys learn about the secret death of Alexander the Great. First his unborn fetus son and "special" son, Phillip, are in charge. But then they get killed and Alex's best friends kept things "business as usual", by splitting up the kingdom.

TLDR: I need my Bud Light girls almost falling over.