The Dunce Caps

This week the guys cum way too much and become Power Rangers. Enough said.

TLDR: Goldar can't stop cumming!

This week the guys try to learn about Chemical Compounds, but as always learn nothing. Rob didn’t even read the whole chapter this time, so. First the guys work their way up the construction ladder, from clean up crew to wrecking crew. The guys get interrogated by a fire cop and his partner, aka his dog. The bean weevil is a tricky bastard, also stupid. Turns out certain hobbies like making glass bowls isn’t for Rob or Chris or anyone really. The guys also discuss the problem with this science book and why its ruining their fun. The book told us not to drink acid or base substances too little too late. Chris tells Rob how to drink properly that idiot. Oh no, the meatheads have been eating wrong this whole time! They need lipids, not protein! Get those lipids bros!

TLDR: Don’t drink the acid fire cop!

This week “Robo of Tuson” and Chris are supposed to learn about chemical bonding. First they read about Roberta Jordan. Known for her dunking skills and testing out Ikea furniture. Chlorophyll and The Sun go on a crime filled rampage. Rob tells everyone about the mysterious Jurassic Park hole in Antarctica. It’s 100% true. Chris and Rob attend the first lettuce burning ceremony and get new jobs, which requires them to write as many words they can think of ever. These Colors Don’t Run shirt guy sues Chris and Rob for burning him. Then the guys travel back in time to a middle school dance, its awkward, and that has something to do with chemical bonds. Disclaimer: Asian Eel porn is on this episode. Late Dine dils, Straps, fings, rings, dings, and clams.

TLDR: Robo’s anal Eels

This week the guys are supposed to talk about chemical bonding, but first they dive into the life of Glen T. Seaborg. He was a Californian scientist who took all the credit for his discoveries despite having a team of assistants and blonde pubes. He also uses the fact that an element was named after him to bang chicks. The writers of our textbook start counting word in the English dictionary. The guys realize that when you drink water, you’re just drinking dead people. Chris and Rob bond over killing snails and bumble bees. We meet the local grave digger in the area who recently had to bury his brother in the core of the earth. Then the Dunce Caps start to relax with some goth techno and ASMR porn, which Rob listens to while at work. Check out www.balloonsluts.com, but not Lady Sophie, she’s the worst dominatrix EVER! And Bill made out with all the copper. Smart Bill. Smart.

TLDR: ASMR Balloon Rave

This week the Dunce Caps are supposed to discuss the periodic table, but instead they talk about Melissa Franklin. She is a Christian Dominatrix Experimental Physicist who likes to tell jokes and operate huge butt drills. But despite her hard work in the lab no one respects her, so she must play bar trivia. But beware of the Science Bro’s who come in every week to win that Itunes gift card. Rob breaks the bad news to Chris that mini carrots are a lie. After all that they finally get to the science! As we all know scientists are smart when it come to math, but did you know they suck at indexing? Russia was never as nice as this books makes it out to be. Russia was never nice and they’ve always eaten winter corn, the worst of all the corns. Chris teaches Rob a new way to eat Little Debbie brownies, then play match maker, by introducing Big Ben and Little Debbie.

TLDR: I’m not gay, but I’d fuck him.

This week the guys are supposed to discuss atoms. Instead they are bored by this dumb science book and discuss dumb super-heros, the idiots that “discovered” atoms, and pudding! So much fucking pudding! Not Cosby pudding, British pudding, like the weird wet bread filled with dried fruits and shit. They also bow down to the all mighty Big Ben. Also we meet a bunch of devil worshipers who follow the ultra lord Carbon, the most evil of all the elements.

TLDR: Pudding Party

This week The Dunce Caps talk about heat and heat energy. Rob and Chris get mad at their grandpas. They also don’t appreciate the way this book talks down to them. The guys consider getting nipple piercings, like their favorite actor Guy Fieri. An agreement is made about what the first real experiment will be; jarring a fart. We meet a sad family, who is missing their mother. They all speak Italian, except they’re Irish. Who the fuck eats fruit bar!? We want fudge-pops! Yoohoo versus Nesquick. Yoohoo always wins. Rob was raised on Choco-Tacos and the ice cream man. Chris and Rob are fucking genius inventors! Shredded cheese bag and the to-go butter thermos. The guys reminisce about eating snacks at the movie theater. Rob is a master cheese chef, with hundreds of Velveeta recipes. Chris opens a white trash, all American bar restaurant.

TLDR: “I go to the movies for the snacks.”

Lab assistant Don is back! With no book or prepared experiment of course. This week the guys are supposed to talk about energy. The guys talk about business monkeys and how they run the world. A quick ad from our sponsors, Kegal Rings!, not be confused with the bagel store across the street. Don makes fun of jugglers and would rather play video games. The lineage of the magnet family and their space themed diner is pieced together. Somehow the announcer from the X-Games showed up to the Mustard Cup, and commentated anyway. The guys learn about old roller-coaster and how they were run on lube. Don doesn’t understand what a nub is on an amputated person…so annoying. Rob and Chris become the biggest fans of Chinese basketball, where only retired NBA centers are used as Ton-Tons. The guys also decide to donate their dead bodies to shooting ranges, instead of science.

TLDR: Chinese NBA

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!

TLDR: SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!

This week the Dunce Caps enter a new unit: Work and Machines! So many machines! Unfortunately not the cool ones like the Terminator, more like the ones that make you cum. The guys also talk lube, because thats what you need for machines… and jerking off. A handicapped girl crawled out of bed using a machine she made fro a K’NEX, that’s so illegal. Rob’s co-worker can never play soccer again, but Rob consoles him with the idea that hell have to use cool canes now. No more hover boards in NYC! Chris develops a new wheelchair diet, but it only works when you do down the ramp, not up the ramp. Rob gets his seated lawnmower ticketed for illegally parking it on the street. The guys also go the gym, in 3 piece suits, looking for friends, not to workout. Rob calls his rich father to explain why the car is broken, so just come pick him up, thanks. Now that the guys are jacked, you can call them “The Tools” cause our bodies are the only tools we need. Also how do Asians get out of the restaurant?

TLDR: Canes are badass