The Enneagram Edge with Host Tracy O’Malley

Welcome to Season 2 of Lead with the Enneagram - things are about to get very real.

On this episode of Lead with the Enneagram, I dive into the concept of self-abandonment and its profound impact on our relationships and overall well-being. Self-abandonment is often done with the intention of being a better partner, friend, or family member. However, this behavior actually hinders personal growth and deprives others of the opportunity to learn from their own experiences.
I share personal examples of my own codependent tendencies in various relationships, highlighting the different ways in which self-abandonment can manifest.

I reflect on how self-abandonment may seem like the right thing to do or a way to maintain control and certainty in life. However, this pattern of behavior ultimately prevents us from living the fulfilling life we deserve and desire.

I also discuss how self-abandonment can be passed down through generations, affecting not only the individual but also their children and how we are leading by example, as children tend to emulate their parents' actions rather than their words.

What you will learn on this episode:

• How to Start Healing Codependency
• The different ways in which self-abandonment can manifest
• Things in our lives that we cannot outrun or outthink
• The importance of vulnerability when connecting with others
• How Self Abandonment impacts our relationships & well-being
• The Relationship Between Self-abandonment and Personal Growth
• How Self-Abandonment is a Generational Trait
• What is preventing you from living the life you deserve

Connect with Tracy:
Tracy’s Website http://tracyomalley.com/ Tracy on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tracy_omalley/ Tracy on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tracy.omalley Tracy on Twitter https://twitter.com/TracyOMall Tracy on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-o-malley/

Resources:
Attend Tracy’s Enneagram Group Workshop https://www.tracyomalley.com/workshop Access Tracy’s Enneagram Blueprint https://www.tracyomalley.com/workwithmeUsing Your Stress Number to Eliminate Shame & Self-Sabotage on Lead with the Enneagram EP356 https://open.spotify.com/episode/111YMhtJjtw4sgBsN4fHs7 Book a Power Session with Tracy http://tracyomalley.com/workwithme/Learn More About Tracy’s Enneagram Team Dynamics Workshop https://www.tracyomalley.com/workwithme Book a Partner Session with Tracy https://www.tracyomalley.com/workwithmeApply for 1:1 Coaching with Tracy https://www.tracyomalley.com/workwithmeEmail [email protected]

Have you run across somebody with the same Enneagram type as you and thought, ‘But we’re SO different?’
That can be confusing and may even make you question the usefulness of the Enneagram as a tool for personal growth.
But there is more to the Enneagram and more to YOU than just your core type. And if you understand its full framework, you can appreciate how two individuals with the same type might present very differently.
On this episode of Lead with the Enneagram, I share 6 reasons why people of the same core type might show up differently, describing how your level of health affects the way you express your Enneagram type.
I explain how your instinctual subtype influences the way you present your Enneagram type and challenge you to lean into your growth number and learn to use both of your wings in a healthy way. Listen in to understand when you take on the characteristics of your stress number and learn what your tritype reveals about the way you dominate in each of the three centers of intelligence.
What You Will Learn
6 reasons why people with the same Enneagram type present differently
How to ensure you’ve been typed correctly
How your level of health impacts the way you show up as your Enneagram type
How your instinctual subtype—self-preservation, one-on-one or social—influences the way you respond to life circumstances
Why I recommend learning to use both of your wings in a healthy way
How leaning into your growth number affects the energy you bring to your Enneagram type
When we take on the characteristics and coping mechanisms of our stress number
What your tritype reveals about the way you dominate in all 3 centers of intelligence, i.e.: feeling, thinking and instinctive
Connect with Tracy
Tracy’s Website
Tracy on Instagram
Tracy on Facebook
Tracy on Twitter
Tracy on LinkedIn
Resources
Attend Tracy’s Enneagram Group Workshop
Access Tracy’s Enneagram Blueprint
Using Your Stress Number to Eliminate Shame & Self-Sabotage on Lead with the Enneagram EP356
Book a Power Session with Tracy
Learn More About Tracy’s Enneagram Team Dynamics Workshop
Book a Partner Session with Tracy
Apply for 1:1 Coaching with Tracy
Email [email protected]

How do you behave under stress? Do you act out in a way you’re not proud of? Maybe you do things that are out of character? Or even sabotage yourself?
Before I had the framework of the Enneagram, stressful times often led me down a shame spiral.
But now that I understand why I go into my stress number when I’m overwhelmed, I can use the gifts of that Enneagram type to pull myself out—without beating myself up for it or causing any further damage.
On this episode of Lead with the Enneagram, I explain why we connect with our stress number when all hell breaks loose, sharing the example of how an Enneagram 8, under pressure, can look like an unhealthy 5.
I walk you through the stress numbers for each of the 9 Enneagram types and explore the consequences of embodying an unhealthy version of your stress number in challenging times.
Listen in for insight on tapping into the gifts of your particular Enneagram stress number and learn how to avoid shame and self-sabotage when the going gets tough!
What You Will Learn
How the Enneagram can help you avoid shame and self-sabotage
Why we connect with our Enneagram stress number when all hell breaks loose
The consequences of embodying an unhealthy version of our stress number
The stress numbers associated with each of the 9 Enneagram types
Why an Enneagram 8 under stress looks like an unhealthy 5
How I use the gifts of my Enneagram stress number to pull me out of isolation
How to use your stress number to navigate challenging times
Connect with Tracy
Tracy’s Website
Tracy on Instagram
Tracy on Facebook
Tracy on Twitter
Tracy on LinkedIn
Resources
Attend Tracy’s Enneagram Group Workshop
Access Tracy’s Enneagram Blueprint
Book a Power Session with Tracy
Learn More About Tracy’s Enneagram Team Dynamics Workshop
Book a Partner Session with Tracy
Apply for 1:1 Coaching with Tracy
Email [email protected]

Do you regret the past? Or harbor resentment toward people who caused you pain?
You may be tempted to shut the door on the past. But what if acknowledging what happened and understanding how it shaped you is the first step in transforming your life?
On this episode of Lead with the Enneagram, I share the not-so-positive parts of my past and explain how childhood beliefs shape our actions and hold us back from the life we want.
I discuss how the Enneagram helps us understand why we do what we do on a motivational level and describe how to look at your past with compassion, empathy and grace.
Listen in for insight on using your experiences to benefit others and learn why owning your past is the key to creating long-term change.
What You Will Learn
Why we shouldn’t regret the past or try to shut the door on it
How we’re bombarded with marketing that triggers our pain points and then offers a quick fix
How acknowledging the past allows us to take effective action toward long-term change
How to look at the past with compassion, empathy and grace
How the Enneagram helps us understand the motivation behind why we do what we do
How childhood beliefs shape our actions, keeping us stuck, sick or shamed (and what to do about it) How to use the Enneagram to take inventory of your relationships
The harm in holding onto resentment and how the Enneagram can help you move through it faster How we can use our experiences to benefit others
Connect with Tracy
Tracy’s Website
Tracy on Instagram
Tracy on Facebook
Tracy on Twitter
Tracy on LinkedIn
Resources
Tracy on the People Do That Podcast
Book a Power Session with Tracy
Learn More About Tracy’s Enneagram Team Dynamics Workshop
Access Tracy’s Enneagram Blueprint
Book a Partner Session with Tracy
Apply for 1:1 Coaching with Tracy
Email [email protected]

Can you believe it? We've reached the halfway point of 2023.
As we pause to reflect on the year so far, it's natural to reassess our big goals and plans. And sometimes, things unfold differently than we imagined or desired.
But even if our journey has taken an unexpected turn, there's still an opportunity to transform these experiences.
Because here's the truth—you have the power to take something unimaginably difficult and turn it into something magical and meaningful.
Listen to someone who knows, it IS possible, but it starts with your own healing.
Today, on "Lead With The Enneagram," I invite you to listen in as I share my own personal journey and the lessons I've learned along the way.
Join me as I delve into several significant events from my past, the lessons I've learned from them and how the tools of the Enneagram became the catalyst for my transformation, igniting my true passion for helping people like YOU uncover your true potential to become the best version of yourself.
Tune in as I share insights, strategies, and actionable steps to help you turn the unexpected in your life into something magical and meaningful.
What You Will Learn
How understanding and forgiving the past can lead to healing and personal transformation
The crucial key to your personal growth
The #1 way to transform your shortcomings into something meaningful
Why personal accountability is essential for breaking dysfunctional cycles
How painful events can unlock deeper levels of compassion and understanding in helping others
Why taking responsibility for your own healing process is crucial
How personal experiences (even the most challenging ones) can be turned into something meaningful and transformative.
The vital importance of Integrating tools such as the Enneagram for healing and personal growth
Connect with Tracy
Tracy’s Website
Tracy on Instagram
Tracy on Facebook
Tracy on Twitter
Tracy on LinkedIn
Resources
Book an Enneagram Kickstart Session
Purchase YOUR Personalized Enneagram Blueprint
Apply for VIP 1:1 Enneagram Coaching
Email [email protected]

I helped four people get fired this week.
That may sound savage, but the truth is, we’re not doing people any favors by keeping them in a role that isn’t a good fit.
So, how do you make hard decisions around who is serving you and who isn’t? And what’s the best way to let people go in your personal or professional life?
On this episode of Lead with the Enneagram, I discuss the consequences of keeping good people on your team when they’re the wrong fit and challenge you to fire anyone who isn’t serving you (even if you don’t have a replacement).
I explore why you can’t reach your goals if you’re operating with low standards and explain how to take inventory of the people in your life and make room for VIPs in your business and personal life. Listen in to understand why it’s crucial to have the right people in the right positions and learn how to identify who will help you manifest the life you want—and cut ties with the ones who won’t.
What You Will Learn
Why we’re slow to make hard decisions re: who we want in our lives and who we don’t
How teams respond when you fire people who don’t serve the organization
The consequences of keeping good people on your team when they’re the wrong fit for the position Why I suggest firing people who aren’t a good fit even if you don’t have a replacement
How to make room for high-level people in your personal and professional life
Why you can’t manifest your goals if you operate with low standards
How to take inventory of the people in your life and make decisions on who to cut ties with
How I can help you identify the people in your organization who will take your business to the next level
The benefit of having the right people in the right positions on your team
Why you’re not helping somebody if you’re keeping them in a role they aren’t great at
Connect with Tracy
Tracy’s Website
Tracy on Instagram
Tracy on Facebook
Tracy on Twitter
Tracy on LinkedIn
Resources
Book a Power Session with Tracy
Learn More About Tracy’s Enneagram Team Dynamics Workshop
Access Tracy’s Enneagram Blueprint
Book a Partner Session with Tracy
Apply for 1:1 Coaching with Tracy
Email [email protected]

Many of us are standing at life's crossroads, grappling with situations that keep us awake at night or yearning for a transformative shift forward.
We crave change, yet distinguishing between genuine motivations and those driven by a desire to escape pain or discomfort can be challenging.
And making decisions from a place of fear or avoidance will only lead us astray, diverting us from our true purpose while hindering our personal growth.
As we navigate the complexities of making important choices—whether in our businesses, relationships, health, or as parents—it’s critical to ensure that these decisions originate from the most authentic parts of ourselves.
If you've ever found yourself wondering if you should pivot while questioning the authenticity of your desires, then this episode is for you.
Today on "Lead with the Enneagram," we'll delve into the art of finding clarity amidst uncertainty using the transformative tools of the Enneagram.
I'll candidly share some of my personal experiences, including some difficult decisions I faced and how discovering the Enneagram helped me move ahead authentically, propelling me toward a life of purpose and fulfillment.
Listen in as we explore how Embracing the transformative power of the Enneagram can help YOU make choices that align with your true self and lead you toward a life of fulfillment and purpose.
The Enneagram can help discern whether it's time for a pivot or if you're avoiding challenges based on motives, fears, and blind spots. I can help you too! I offer power sessions for teams and organizations and private coaching. Learn more at Tracy O'Malley.com in the work with me section.
What You Will Learn
How the Enneagram can help YOU in discerning whether it's time for a pivot or if you’re avoiding
How understanding motives and fears can aid in making decisions aligned with your personal and professional goals.
The truth behind your time in the wilderness: how significant life changes can lead to personal growth and NEW opportunities for fulfillment
Why getting clear about who you are will help you be ready for the right high-level relationships (because they don't wait in line)
How to assess those personal nudges and make informed decisions using the tools of the Enneagram
The #1 requirement of making impactful decisions
Connect with Tracy
Tracy’s Website
Tracy on Instagram
Tracy on Facebook
Tracy on Twitter
Tracy on LinkedIn
Resources
Apply to work with Tracy
Purchase Your Enneagram Blueprint
Book an Enneagram Session with Tracy
Email [email protected]

When I met Brittany Furnari Fisher at my recent in-person Enneagram retreat, I saw a fierce woman with powerful energy.
But I also recognized she was in a tremendous amount of pain that she’d never felt safe enough to talk about.
So, what gave this Enneagram 6 the courage to open up about her trauma? How did Brittany move through her fear of uncertainty and learn to share her vulnerability with others?
On this episode of Lead with the Enneagram, Brittany describes how being a Loyal Skeptic makes it challenging to share her whole self and why she felt comfortable divulging her PTSD diagnosis at my retreat.
Brittany explains how being the Justice Warrior for others (the 6-3-8 tritype) while neglecting herself led to a health crisis—and how that experience taught her to put her own oxygen mask on first. Listen in for Brittany’s take on the pros and cons of being an Enneagram 6 entrepreneur and learn how to live through ugly experiences without letting it dim your light!
What You Will Learn
The characteristics of a one-to-one Enneagram 6 with a 6-3-8 tritype
How Brittany conceptually understood the importance of vulnerability but had never put it into practice The problem with coaching that cracks people open but doesn’t equip them to deal with the vulnerability hangover
Why Brittany felt comfortable sharing her PTSD diagnosis at my retreat
Why Brittany was afraid to share her complex trauma diagnosis with close friends and family
The support Brittany received after sharing all of herself with her tribe
What Brittany is doing to be the cycle breaker in her family and hold them accountable for their actions How being the Justice Warrior for others but neglecting herself led to Brittany’s health crisis
Brittany’s take on the pros and cons of being an Enneagram 6 entrepreneur
How to live through ugly experiences without letting it dim your light
Connect with Brittany
Brittany on LinkedIn
Connect with Tracy
Tracy’s Website
Tracy on Instagram
Tracy on Facebook
Tracy on Twitter
Tracy on LinkedIn
Resources
Learn More About Tracy’s Enneagram Team Dynamics Workshop
Access Tracy’s Enneagram Blueprint
Book a Partner Session with Tracy
Book a Live Enneagram Typing Session
Apply for 1:1 Coaching with Tracy
Email [email protected]

The bottlenecks in your life can have a detrimental impact on your personal and professional life, especially your most personal relationships.
You’re probably out there raising your hand and saying I am tired of this bottleneck; I'm tired of feeling stuck. I know better. Why am I not doing better?
I guarantee that staying bottlenecks only creates more frustration.
It's vital that you recognize these bottlenecks to keep them from hindering your growth.
So how can you recalibrate your measuring stick and reassess YOUR operating patterns to overcome these bottlenecks to live a more fulfilled life?
It all depends on your Enneagram type.
Today on "Lead with the Enneagram," we'll explore the importance of understanding your Enneagram type, identifying your motivations and fears, and then using this knowledge to address and overcome bottlenecks in your life.
I'll share the bottlenecks specific to each Enneagram type and the detrimental impact of these bottlenecks on each type's growth patterns. Plus, I'll share how I helped a client of mine identify where she might be bottlenecking herself when it comes to dating and how she was able to get back out there into the dating world again.
Listen in to learn the importance of understanding your Enneagram type in addressing and overcoming bottlenecks and how you can shift your mindset and take action to align with YOUR desires.
Discovering the Enneagram 12 years ago has allowed me to guide millions on their journey. I can help you too! First and foremost, you need to know your correct Enneagram type. My customized blueprint will give you the right information. If you want a personalized approach, apply to work with me for PRIVATE VIP 1:1 Coaching, or learn more at Tracy O'Malley.com in the work with me section.
What You Will Learn
How to navigate personal and professional bottlenecks and integrate the Enneagram framework for accelerated transformation
How each Enneagram type can experience bottlenecks and challenges
The value of understanding the fears and motivations behind each Enneagram type's bottleneck
The Role of Compassion, empathy, and Self-awareness in overcoming bottlenecks
Why embracing self-compassion is the key for 1s to overcome their perfectionism
The key for 2s to break free from their over giving and people-pleasing patterns
How 3s can shift their focus from their external achievements to inner fulfillment
The one thing that can help 4s overcome envy and celebrate their own journey
How 5s can step out of the analysis paralysis that is holding them back and act
The first step for type 6s is to be able to release their incessant questioning and build trust in their decision-making capabilities
How 7s can find fulfillment to embrace what truly excites you
The key for type 8s is to embrace their vulnerability so they can cultivate a circle of trusted individuals (and their love relationships)
How Enneagram 9s can break free from their fear of rocking the boat to pursue their personal growth The key to evaluating relationships and support systems that may contribute to (or hinder) YOUR personal growth
Connect with Tracy
Tracy’s Website
Tracy on Instagram
Tracy on Facebook
Tracy on Twitter
Tracy on LinkedIn
Resources
Apply to work with Tracy
Purchase Your Enneagram Blueprint
Book an Enneagram Session with Tracy
Email [email protected]

The core focus on an Enneagram 9 is harmony, which sounds like a really good thing. And it is.
But the problem arises when an Adaptive Peacemaker chooses harmony in the moment to the detriment of their Future Self.
Before attending my in-person Enneagram retreat, Alexandria Keahi experienced this exact challenge, staying quiet to avoid conflict and ignoring her own dreams to accommodate others.
So, what does it look like when a self-preservation 9 chooses herself?
On this episode of Lead with the Enneagram, Alexandria explains how the focus on harmony associated with being a 9 was playing out in her life and why she swept things under the rug to keep the peace.
Alexandria shares the response she’s getting from friends and family now that she’s doing things for herself and describes how stepping into her own internal harmony is bringing her more peace and less anxiety.
Listen in for insight on how integrating the Enneagram is inspiring Alexandria to pursue a longstanding dream and learn how those of us who love and lead 9s can support them in stepping into the light! What You Will Learn
Why Alexandria thought she was a social 4 but turned out to be a self-preservation 9
How Alexandria identifies with the focus on harmony associated with being an Enneagram 9
How Alexandria’s self-preservation instinctual type plays out in her life
Alexandria’s struggle around creating temporary harmony to the detriment of her Future Self
How Alexandria leans into her 1 and 8 wings to avoid sweeping things under the rug in her professional life (and why it’s more difficult for her to do that in her personal life)
The response Alexandria is getting from friends and family now that she’s doing things for herself
Why it’s crucial for a 9-4-5 tritype like Alexandria to be aware of their tendency to withdraw
How stepping into her own internal harmony is bringing Alexandria more peace and joy
Alexandria’s advice to fellow Enneagram 9s who are afraid to step into the light
How people who love and lead Enneagram 9s can encourage them to use their voice
Connect with Alexandria
Alexandria on Instagram
Connect with Tracy
Tracy’s Website
Tracy on Instagram
Tracy on Facebook
Tracy on Twitter
Tracy on LinkedIn
Resources
Learn More About Tracy’s Enneagram Team Dynamics Workshop
Access Tracy’s Enneagram Blueprint
Book a Partner Session with Tracy
Book a Live Enneagram Typing Session
Apply for 1:1 Coaching with Tracy
Email [email protected]