The Everyday Human

June: On Conflict and Courage

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June 29

As I pulled up the grass and tossed it aside, Oliver’s words echoed in my mind and I had no choice but to stop and consider the determination of this grass—and the grass in the cracks in the driveway or growing through the sidewalks in town.

I can’t say if the grass knows of the harsh conditions it must push through in order to find life, or the bravery it takes to grow where it desires, even in the face of those who would cut it back (me, I guess—thanks to the damn HOA), but I have a feeling that even if it did know, it would push on anyway right past those unending obstacles.

And for me and maybe for you that’s something to consider.

And maybe it’s even something worthy to remember.

Now, time for that tomato sandwich. 

• Reflection title: Lemon Boys in June
• Creative inspiration: Mary Oliver, "Evidence"
• Reflection Question: Where in my life do I need to channel the stubborn bravery of the grass to push through obstacles? What will I do today to be more like the grass?

June: On Conflict and Courage

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June 28

Under cover of darkness, with only the moonlight to guide him, he slipped away from his starving family, leaving behind a decrepit shack, flea-ridden blankets, and cries of hunger. He stole into the grain storehouse—Trevelyan’s corn—and threw as much meal into a sack before hurrying back to feed his children. All the while fear, desperation, and a cruel and unjust law were hard on his heels.

It didn’t work out for Michael, of course. As the song goes: “Against the famine and the crown / I rebelled; they cut me down / Now you must raise our child with dignity.” But what was the alternative? Remain docile and wait against better judgment and hope for aid to come? Put the future of your children in the hands of those who could care less if you lived or died? Stay hidden and obedient out of fear of repercussions? No, to live that life would be far worse than having tried and failed.

I hope you’ll never have to.

But if you did, would you?

• Reflection title: Where Once We Watched the Small Free Birds Fly
• Creative inspiration: Pete St John, “The Fields of Athenry”
• Reflection Question: How far would I go? And would I put my own safety at risk to help those I love and care for?
  
  

June: On Conflict and Courage

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June 27

The next day it was a wreck back there. Debris and whatever else had washed down into the yard. The gardens were destroyed and we had to toss any vegetables that held on for fear of contamination. We got lucky. And I’ll never forget how quickly nature can have its way with you.

But that storm taught me something else, too. No matter how bad it might get—no matter how long the struggle drags on, it does eventually end. And if you stick it out, look your fear dead in the eyes—whatever it is you’re facing, breakup, job loss, illness, death of a loved one—no matter how insurmountable it might seem at the time, with a bit of grit and a little luck, you’ll come out the other side better and stronger for the simple fact that you had the courage to stick it out. 

And small change or big as the result, you’ll never be the same. That’s what storms are all about.

• Reflection title: Storm Shudders Are Useless 
• Creative inspiration: Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore
• Reflection Question: What storm am I afraid of facing? Do I fear the storm itself or the change that comes with it? And am I ready to face it?

June: On Conflict and Courage

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June 26

If the mammoth sunflower takes that chance and finds a spot in the ground with good soil, just enough water, and sun? In a few weeks, it’ll wake up with a sprinkle of bravery and poke its little green head through the dirt. It’ll look toward the sun—its god and life-giver—and follow it from east to west in awe, learning all it can about the world from its little patch on Earth.

And once it gets a taste—it’s not enough. It’ll want more. And so it will grow and grow and grow—wider, taller—leaves larger than your head. In about two months time, it’ll be around 10-12 feet tall—towering over you and the other plants in the garden. All because it went outside despite the dangers and took a chance.

The world can be rotten. It was for Nin back in 1939, and it is now for a lot of people. Humans have a tendency of fucking it all up for others and for the planet—it’s always been this way, and in truth, probably will always be this way. But there’s a beautiful new world out there, waiting for you specifically. It’s waiting for you to find your soil. It’s waiting to give you water, warmth, and sun. It’s ready for you to grow tall above the rest and to follow the light. 

It just needs you to create it. 

Are you ready?

• Reflection title: Time To Come Out of Your Shell
• Creative inspiration: Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Volume 3 (1939–1944)
• Reflection Question: Have I been holing up in my shell because of the endless stream of bad news? Or am I ready to take a chance at creating a new world? 

June: On Conflict and Courage

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June 25

Actions and speaking out have consequences. No doubt about it. But inaction and silence bear their own weight—and it can sometimes be heavier having to live not with what you did do, but what you didn’t do. 

So it all comes down to choice. Your actions and inactions will always affect the people around you, no matter what you do or don’t do—sure as the rain falls from the sky. And you don’t always know the outcome—could be immediate, or the ripples might stretch days, weeks, months, or years into the future. But if you act according to your heart and stay true to yourself—you can at least be sure that you did your best. And you can bear those consequences—no matter what they might be—with your head held high and say you tried. There could be a new world out there waiting for you—you just need the courage to act to find it. And be willing to face the consequences of your actions.

• Reflection title: For Every Action, There Is a Reaction
• Creative inspiration: Eastin DeVerna, Dead World: A Post-Apocalyptic Tale
• Reflection Question: When have I been afraid to act? And why? What is it that’s holding me back?

June: On Conflict and Courage

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June 24

You manage to get going again—one foot in front of the other. That’s all it takes. Keep telling yourself it’s all in your head.

Just up ahead—at the corner of the street—you spot the silhouette of a figure. Tall—four legs? Something big in their hands. You’re not sure what it is, but your curiosity, or more likely your fear of what’s behind you, drives you on.

Now you see it. It’s a person. She’s standing on a chair with a big stick, looking into the mist—in the direction from which you’ve come.

“Hey! What are you doing up there?” you call out. 

Her eyes flick down to you, then back up. “Just being ready,” she says, voice flat and even, her long wet hair plastered to her forehead.

“So there is something behind me . . .” You turn slowly, but it’s empty. Just mist and flickering lights.

“Dunno,” she says. “But if there is—no matter what comes from those shadows—I’ll be ready for it.”

• Reflection title: Carry a Chair and a Very Heavy Stick
• Creative inspiration: Terry Pratchett, Maskerade
• Reflection Question: Even if there’s no huge and terrible monster following me now—what will I do to prepare for a future where one might be?

June: On Conflict and Courage

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June 23

We often don’t face our fears immediately because we think there might be another way—a better way. Or that somehow, through waiting, we’ll be better prepared. Or that the problem will just vanish. But often this only leaves room for us to catastrophize on the potential outcomes, and our courage seems only to drift further out to sea while we’re distracted. Even now, as I write this—the devil’s advocate speaks to me in the back of my mind: Well, Eastin. Sometimes waiting is actually good and if everyone acted immediately—

I’m not saying to act irrationally and without thought. Courage isn’t foolishly rushing headlong into unwinnable or dangerous situations—you do also have to prepare and think things through. What I’m saying is that when you know in your heart and mind and soul and body—and trust me, you’ll know when you know—what you have to do to overcome your fear and move forward in your life, that is the time to act. It’s when you know and you don’t act—that’s when the fear begins to fester and mutate into something more nefarious, taking over your thoughts and actions.

So it’s best to face it—whatever it is—now. Don’t put it off, or you might be waiting for the rest of your life. 

Now, let’s go.

• Reflection title: Now or Never
• Creative inspiration: Lemony Snicket, The Ersatz Elevator
• Reflection Question: What fear am I not facing because of the lie I tell myself that I’m not ready? Do I know in my heart that now is the time?

June: On Conflict and Courage

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June 22

Think of your greatest death—was it a one-off? Or is it a pattern? Are you afraid to speak your mind and live up to your true self as a result?

Again—it’s okay. There is no shame in living your life. We’re all afraid at some point—the key is recognizing it when it happens, seeing those signs, and building up the confidence and strength to react otherwise—to make the decision you long to make in your heart—the one you know is right. It’s easy to fall into the pattern of doing otherwise and dying these many deaths. But all it takes is one act of courage to turn the tables and set you on the path you wish to be on.

So if you’re tired of dying little deaths—or if there’s a handful of larger deaths lingering in the back of your mind, make the choice now to do it differently next time around, because there will be a next time. And choose to live instead.

• Reflection title: So It Goes, but It Doesn’t Have To
• Creative inspiration: William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar
• Reflection Question: What and when was my biggest death? How will I now live in spite of that death? What will I do to make up for it?

June: On Conflict and Courage

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June 21

It takes strength and courage to keep going. To move on from a broken heart, from the loss of a loved one, from any of the countless tragedies that we humans are so susceptible to. You gotta keep moving always, but you can’t be afraid to look back either—to observe the past and learn from it. And it’s okay to even mourn it—as long as you keep moving.

Don’t forget it, even when it hurts. Because why would you? It is uniquely you. It’s a part of your story. Without it, you wouldn’t be where you are now. You wouldn’t be you.

• Reflection title: Defy the Angels
• Creative inspiration: Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
• Reflection Question: Do I have the courage to keep moving, while not fearing the past that led me here?

June: On Conflict and Courage

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June 20

The point isn’t to achieve it all. It’s to live fully within the boundaries of the limits of your life and what is possible. To throw your fear of failure to the wind and have the courage to try. Even if you don’t finish what you set out to do, you did it the best you could. Within your capacity and the limits of what was possible for you specifically, and no one else. This is how it’s meant to be. Things will be left unfinished, you can be damn sure of that. But it’s the fact that you even started that matters. It’s your intention that matters. Choosing to try—with a focused determination—over eternity.

Burn brightly like a campfire burning up its wood. It may not last forever—it certainly won’t—but it will leave its impression, light, and warmth while it’s here.

• Reflection title: Burning Up
• Creative inspiration: Pindar, Pythian iii
• Reflection Question: Am I playing it safe or exhausting the limits of what’s possible? What will I start today that I’ve been putting off?