The Everyday Human

June: On Conflict and Courage

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June 19

Having the courage to face what you fear grants freedom. More than that, it allows you to live. And really, the outcome isn’t important here. You might find victory. Or you might be met with complete and utter defeat. What’s important is that when the time comes, you rise to the occasion. What matters is that you face your Hook. 

Or maybe it was your Pan. 

I guess that all depends on where you’re standing.

• Reflection title: Face Your Hook
• Creative inspiration: J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
• Reflection Question: Is there a Hook I’ve been afraid to face? When will I finally take a breath, and take the leap?
  
  

June: On Conflict and Courage

GoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund:

https://gofund.me/3682c6720

June 18

Those tiny voices ceaselessly chatter in the back of your mind: Can’t believe he thinks this is any good. He spent how much time on this? Hope he doesn’t quit his day job . . . 

They leave the door wide open for those second guesses to come rushing in. Is my hair thinning? These wrinkles have gotten so deep. Am I wasting my time? Am I a fraud? Maybe I should just hang it up and not even bother.

They seem damn real, don’t they? When they’re there echoing off the walls of your mind. But they’re not. They’re fabrications—they are the frauds born of insecurities and imposter syndrome and you have no business spending time with them or giving them a thought. And in the chance that one or two of those voices or comments are real or become real—who cares? It’s so easy to criticize, isn’t it? Think of all the opinions and critiques you carry. But it takes courage—real courage—to go into a room when you’re feeling anxious or afraid. To put a personal, creative piece out there into the world.

It’s easier said than done—but build up your strength and courage to shut those voices out. Know that there is only one you. And that the world is a better place for your being here. Know that the thoughts and opinions of others—whether about you as a person or something you’ve created—can only harm you if you allow them to. Do things your way—don’t listen to everyone else out there—all the rules and opinions. They’ll back you into a corner, keep you home, lock you into a sort of creative paralysis.

Dare to be yourself.

Dare to create. 

Dare to disturb the universe. 

• Reflection title: Be Yourself and Disturb the Universe
• Creative inspiration: T. S. Eliot, “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock”
• Reflection Question: Am I allowing my perception of what others think about me or my work control me? In what way will I dare to disturb the universe next?

June: On Conflict and Courage

GoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund:

https://gofund.me/3682c6720

June 17

It’s important to do the work day in and day out. Do difficult things. Stand up for others. Treat yourself with respect and kindness. Make a promise to yourself to learn something new every day. Help your neighbors, and show compassion for those you disagree with (even though I know that’s super uncool these days). These are just a few of the courage exercises that you can do to build your habit—to work out your courage muscle so that it becomes a constant.

Make the vow to never abandon yourself. If you fall, as long as you get back up, you’ll see that your courage is still right there beside you.

• Reflection title: Courage or Cowardice? Work it Out
• Creative inspiration: Cormac McCarthy, All the Pretty Horses
• Reflection Question: Am I working toward a constancy of courage? What courage exercises do I need to do to strengthen my muscle?

June: On Conflict and Courage

GoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund:

https://gofund.me/3682c6720

June 16

Marcus Aurelius said it over 2,000 years ago: Get busy with life's purpose, toss aside empty hopes, get active in your own rescue—if you care for yourself at all—and do it while you can.

And this is the truth of it. By getting active in your own rescue—by caring about yourself, building up the courage you need to overcome the challenges in your own life, then—and only then—you just might wind up being the hero somebody else needs. Or the hero that you need.

Always have the courage to seek help. But also, get busy with your purpose. Flap those wings, and don’t be afraid to make the wind yourself.

• Reflection title: If You Want the Wind, Make It Yourself
• Creative inspiration: Eastin DeVerna, Lux: From the Kingdom of Darkness
• Reflection Question: What in my life have I been waiting for someone else to fix? What’s the first step I need to take in getting active in my own rescue?

June: On Conflict and Courage

GoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund:

https://gofund.me/3682c6720

June 15

How could this happen again? After all that hard work? How many more times—?

Before your thoughts can even finish running their course, you feel your weight shift, your legs and feet moving of their own accord—and back down you go after your rock. 

A sly, almost crazed smile creeps across your face. You’re actually eager to get back down to it. To step behind it and place your hands upon that rough surface, dig your heels into the dirt and push, push, push it back up that mountain.

At this point, you’re not sure it will ever end, but you smile anyway. You don’t care, because you realize—this is your job. This is what you were put here to do. Others might look at you like you’re crazy—but do they get the chance to struggle and push themselves to their limits again and again—to push past those limits when it seems they can go no further?

It’s the struggle that fills your heart, you realize. It’s the struggle that makes the view at the top that much better. Up and down, up and down, up and down. However many times. It doesn’t matter. This is your life. And you’re happy for it.

• Reflection title: Negate the Gods, Raise the Rocks
• Creative inspiration: Albert Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus
• Reflection Question: What is my rock, and how do I see it? As an external burden I’m looking to shed? Or as a part of me and my life—my story?

June: On Conflict and Courage

GoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund:

https://gofund.me/3682c6720

June 14

When danger comes your way, you won’t turn a blind eye and ignore it, you won’t wildly throw yourself at it with no plan—you’ll be prepared, you’ll see it for what it is, and you’ll face it. But you never have to go it alone. Link may have only had a sword to help him back in the 80s, but maybe the fact that it was gifted by a caring old man who worried over Link and his journey was enough to serve the purpose. Even if no one is with you physically, remember that people are rooting for you and guiding you. Carry them with you in your heart and mind.

So take the sword willingly, but don’t look at it as a symbol of violence or aggression, rather as proof of your determination and defiance in the face of adversity.

At some point on your journey, conflict lies ahead. 

Be sure of it. 

Expect it.

Prepare for it.

• Reflection title: Expect a Quest
• Creative inspiration: The Old Man in a Cave, The Legend of Zelda (1986)
• Reflection Question: It’s dangerous to go alone! What sword are you taking with you? What danger did you face in the past that you wish you had been better prepared for?

June: On Conflict and Courage

GoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund:

https://gofund.me/3682c6720

June 13

Courage is not a man with a gun in his hand.

Courage is not aggression masquerading as bravery. 

Courage is not punching down.

Courage is not using force or intimidation to silence others.

Courage is not shouting over others.

Courage is not gaslighting others or lying to them.

Courage is not keeping quiet when you know it’s right to speak up.

Courage is not avoiding difficult conversations out of fear.

Courage is not denial of facts or reason.

Courage is not ignoring evidence that challenges your beliefs or worldview.

• Reflection title: What Courage Is Not
• Creative inspiration: Harper Lee, Atticus Finch, To Kill a Mockingbird
• Reflection Question: Real courage is . . . 

June: On Conflict and Courage

GoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund:

https://gofund.me/3682c6720

June 12

While the failures of the powerful are glaring, they mirror something deeper and closer to home. This applies to those with influence or control—those who’ve publicly abdicated their personal responsibility and accountability, yes—but it also applies to all humans, all over the world. In a time when we all face global challenges like war, climate change, injustice, or poverty (the list goes on), we as individuals must stop and examine what role we’ve played in any or all of it. We have to recognize our mistakes, admit them freely and openly, and then work to fix them. We have to show the future generation a better way and that there is still moral courage left in this world.

We all have the power to act as Mordin did when he made the decision to release the cure and fix the problem he created, even if it meant losing it all. We all have the obligation to act with integrity. Especially when it’s hard. Especially when it’s personal. That’s where it begins.

It has to be you.

Someone else might get it wrong.

• Reflection title: Has To Be You
• Creative inspiration: Mass Effect 3
• Reflection Question: Am I owning up to my mistakes? Do I embrace my personal responsibility to fix the problems I’ve created? If not, where will I start?

June: On Conflict and Courage

GoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund:

https://gofund.me/3682c6720

June 11

It’s the child who hears the banging outside their window at night, burying themselves beneath the covers, hiding from the monster trying to get in, but if they’d just look, they’d see it’s nothing more than a loose shutter in the wind. 

If you stand your ground and face your fear—all of those other possibilities fall away. You’ll never even be able to remember them all. You will see what you’re up against, and you will be empowered to think and choose your best course of action. Simply, facing your fears with courage puts you in control of how you handle the situation, and even better, it puts you in control of your own mind and reasoning.

So, take a page from the young fictional soldier Henry Fleming’s book and know that it is better to view the appalling than to be merely within hearing.

• Reflection title: Don’t Turn Around
• Creative inspiration: Stephen Crane, The Red Badge of Courage
• Reflection Question: What appalling thing in my life am I turning my back on? What small things can I face head on with courage now, leading up to larger challenges?

June: On Conflict and Courage

GoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund:

https://gofund.me/3682c6720

June 10

The shopping, social media, exercise and health, and AI apps are meant to make our lives “easier” or “better,” but they often only complicate things further at the cost of our own accountability and autonomy.

It takes discipline and time to slow down and think for yourself. And it’s not a perfect world—and it’s not always easy. Sometimes the cards are stacked against you. Remember—thought is the greatest threat to those in power. Ever think of the possibility that they want to make it as easy as possible for you not to think?

So slow down, sift through the noise and take your rational and reasoned tools and get to work on your understanding of the matter. It takes courage to dare to know, but you have what it takes. 

• Reflection title: Dare To Know! 
• Creative inspiration: Immanuel Kant, An Answer to the Question: What Is Enlightenment?
• Reflection Question: Do I dare to do the work? To get my hands dirty to really know something? Where am I taking the easy way out?