The Gayly Planet: The Final Fronqueer | A Star Trek Podcast

Special edition! An update on the ongoing investigation of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry, which has revealed gross incompetence, invasions of privacy, negligence, highly dangerous punishment tactics, and frequent student injuries. Are any of our children safe?

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The Gayly Prophet officially endorses queers co-opting of “Zaddy” from The Straights. Today’s Headlines: Hogwarts Detention Policy Shocks Parents—horrifying information surfaces about punishment tactics used at Hogwarts after four 1st years were nearly murdered in the forbidden forest! Breaking news: Malfoy absolutely should have told his father about this. Health and Science: Let’s talk about Centaur physiology, shall we? Open this week’s paper to read all about it!

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In this very special episode, we got to talk to Mey Rude about a truly joyful theory we have about Hagrid! There’s also some stuff about how we (mostly Lark) don’t know geography and how dramatic Snape is, but holy moly you guys, this conversation!!!

Find Mey at meyrude.com, or on socials @meyrude

Check out our website, where you can see weekly comics inspired by the episodes, by Theo Julien Forrester!

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Music: Industrial Music Box by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

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A PSA to IRL Slytherins: We love you! A note to Ron: you’re not a good friend, fix yourself. Dumbledore and Flamel were like, partner partners, yeah? Why did Hagrid eat a stoat? Are you all ready to cry about Neville again? All this and more in today’s edition of the Gayly Prophet!

Check out our website, where you can see weekly comics inspired by the episodes, by Theo Julien Forrester!

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Music: Industrial Music Box by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

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Why does Hogwarts celebrate Christmas? What’s the deal with broomsticks? Why must we be subjected to these quidditch passages? Is there any sort of system to the Hogwarts library? Does everyone know that Nicholas Flamel was a real person? Dear Hedwig, why is Dumbledore keeping the Mirror of Erised out where kids can find it, and how can I stop him? All this and more in this week’s edition of the Gayly Prophet!

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Check out our website, where you can see weekly comics inspired by the episodes, by Theo Julien Forrester!

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Music: Industrial Music Box by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

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Is Dumbledore seriously invisibly stalking children right now? Is Hagrid baiting these kids on purpose, or is Dumbledore using him as a tool in his strange chess game? Hoo Boy, is the mirror of Erised terrible or what?! Remember that time that Hermione set Snape ON FIRE??? Read all about it in this weeks edition of the Gayly Prophet!

The whole Co’Coon Skin situation

Check out our website, where you can see weekly comics inspired by the episodes, by Theo Julien Forrester!

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What would happen if the Sorting Hat decided to quit its job? How does Wood know what a golf ball is? Why does poor Neville have to learn how to fly a broom? This and so much more is all inside today’s issue of the Gayly Prophet!

The podcast to which this podcast owes its existence: ohwitchplease.ca

Check out our brand new website, where you can see weekly comics inspired by the episodes, by Theo Julien Forrester!

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Why are witches so committed to flying on brooms? Should Percy have been placed in Slytherin? If you can open a door with Alohomora, is it actually locked? Is anyone in this school actually supervising these children? Find out in this edition of the Gayly Prophet!

You wonderful humans listened to us 2000 times in our first month! Thank you so much!!!

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In the second part of our discussion of chapters 7 & 8, your reporters investigate the meaning behind Snape's interrogation of Harry's plant knowledge. Also: seriously, how messed up is the sorting system? Would anyone really send their kids to Hogwarts? Do you all know that parchment is SKIN??? Also, bonus content about Lark's irl experience with poltergeists! Open today's paper and read all about it!

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Welcome to our discussion of Chapters 7 and 8 of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. How many kittens would it take to make up for the wrongs done to Neville Longbottom? Are there any legal protections available in the witching world? How does Dumbledore get away with keeping Snape on staff? Is Nearly Headless Nick the best role model in this series? Open today’s paper to read all about it!

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