The God Show

BEHOLD! Last night Jesus and I recorded a 30-minute reaction episode to the debate. Check it out in the video above!

Forsooth, as we predicted, the corporate media said that Vance won the debate because they have pudding for brains, which is mean to pudding. Pudding isn't totally corrupt, bought and paid for by right wing billionaires. We talk about it all in-depth!

Dear Humans,

The other day Captain Dipshit said in an interview that he won't run again in 2028 if he loses this election. He would be 82 or 83 at the time.

"No, I don't. I think ... that will be it. I don't see that at all," said The Demented One, when asked if he would run again in 4 years if he loses this year.

Of course, he said in 2020 that if he lost that year, we would never see or hear from him again. And sadly, that was not true. He never shuts the fuck up. He never goes away.

Do you believe him? Or is he full of shit? Am I insane for asking that? Because that's what JESUS says in our latest episode. I still can't believe his answer.

Halloween's around the corner, would the Republicans run his corpse if they could? Would they clone him?

Robo-Donald?

Zombie Donald??

Cyborg-Vampire Donald?!?

We already have racist psychopath Donald…although I assume all Donald retreads would have that.

Anyway, give the new episode of the God Pod in the video above a little looksie. Jesus and I recap what happened in the last week and somehow find ways to make each other laugh.

Dear Donald Trump Jr.,

I see thou art whining about having to explain to children that a shooter almost killed thy father. Now you know how it feels to be a parent sending their kids to public schools in the USA on any given day.

Thou shalt not complain about how unsafe it is living in America. Your father was the president for 4 years. What did he get done? Nothing. He literally people to "get over it" the day after a mass shooting in Iowa. Human life is meaningless to him.

Thou shalt not complain about how unsafe it is as you dad's cult rallies. He has been stirring up a hive of insane bees for 9 long years now. Did thou really thinkest the killer bees would never sting thee?

Thou shalt not blame Democrats for two registered Republicans trying to take out your dad in the last two months. Both assassins were registered as Republicans. This most recent one even voted for thy father in 2016!

It is not the fault of Democrats, who have always condemned violence and expressed gratitude that Donald is okay. It is the fault of Republicans, who see no problem in encouraging others to commit acts of violence, as your father did on January 6, 2021. As he did last week against Haitian immigrants. As he always does.

Hast thou not ever studied history? Being a fascist leader isn't all it's cracked up to be. Thou might want to read to the end of what happened to Adolph Hitler in World War 2.

Those who live by the sword, die by the sword.

Those who live by the violent rhetoric, die by their own violent rhetoric.

Those who stand in the way of gun control, shall see their own family members die by guns not being controlled.

Here endeth the lesson.

THE LORD HAS SPOKEN!

PS - Oh also, Jesus and I talked about everything that's happened in the last week in this week's episode. It's been a lot.

Dear Humans,

Lo, last night was wonderful. It was the long waited for comeuppance that Donold so richly deserved. It was the smiting we all needed to watch! Thank you to everyone who joined our live chat! Jesus and I had so much fun hanging out with you! It was so nice having our live chat locked to paid subscribers so we could enjoy it without fear of having any trolls there.

After the debate, loser Donold went to the spin room, a sure sign that he knew he had just been destroyed. Every single channel was praising Kamala's performance and utterly aghast at the things Donold said. Except for Fox News of course, which merely complained that ABC did something called 'fact-checking.' His supporters are now vowing to never watch ABC or Disney ever again. LOL…ok sure.

https://www.thegodpodcast.com/p/kamala-destroys-donoldmegasmite

Dear Humans,

We're back! On today's episode of the God Pod, God and Jesus discuss all that hath occurred over the last two weeks, from the Democratic National Convention to Dana Bash's interview with Kamala Harris and Tim Walz.

A lot of things happened whilst Jesus was on vacation! We also preview the first presidential debate coming on Tuesday night between Kamala and Donold.

Well, tomorrow marks out 5th birthday here on Substack. It's been going BONKERS. We are now at #80 on the US Politics leaderboard. Only 10 spots to go to pass the vile one, Ann Coulter.

Unlike Tim Pool, Benny Johnson, and all those right wing podcasters, I'm not supported by bribes from Russia. I'm not paid by Putin. All I got is you.

To celebrate our milestone, I'm offering a special one-day discount! For today only, you can become a paid subscriber at a 20% discount. Just click here to claim your September Rise Of Democracy Special and support God.

Don't miss out on this divine deal! (Valid through September 8th, 2024)

Jesus and I recapped everything that's happened in the last week. We celebrate the addition of Tim Walz to the Democratic ticket, and laugh our asses off at the ongoing smiting of Downfall Donold.

Forsooth, how does Donold keep outdoing himself in the humiliation department?

• Wishing Biden was still running

• Complaining that Kamala's crowds must be "fake"

• 'Accidentally' flying on Jeffrey Epstein's private jet in 2024

And so much more. Join us as God and Jesus try to process all the funny things that are happening.

I have faith in you, humans.

Love,

God

Dear Humans,

Earlier this week, Jesus and I had the rare opportunity to converse with Project 2025 expert Andra Watkins, who doth cover Project 2025 every single day on her Substack, "How Project 2025 Will Ruin YOUR Life." Verily, we quickly discovered that Andra is exceedingly cool and fun, and doth enjoy cursing as much as God. She is delightful and brilliant, and we didst have a blast hanging out with her.

In addition to doing the Lord's work in educating the world on Project 2025, Andra is a cherished member of the God community. I oft see her in our comments and restacking our posts, and if there be one thing God still enjoyeth, it's that little hit of dopamine from likes, comments, and shares. This is because God is like unto Tinkerbell and doth require thy claps to continue to exist.

"I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it's not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised."

- Michael Scott, The Office

Shoot…lost my train of thought. Anyway, cuddle up with a cup of coffee and hang out with us. Thou hast a little time.

I believe in you, humans.

Love,

God

To celebrate our 3 month anniversary on Substack and Kamala's VP announcement today, I'm offering a special one-day discount! For today only, you can become a paid subscriber at a 20% discount. Just click here to claim your August Rise of Democracy Special and support God. Don't miss out on this divine deal! (Valid through August 9th, 2024)

Dear Humans,

Wow, what an episode we have for you this week! The rollercoaster has not slowed down and the last few days have been absolutely wild. We discuss the latest with data nerd Nick Powers.

Nick tells us about what he's seeing and we compare notes. And what we're seeing is AWESOME. The Kamala momentum is real and spreading. We also laugh at the expense of extreme weirdo JD Vance, which feels SofaKing good. Later on, we discuss Trump's weird speech to Christians. But first, we review all the amazing statistics!

Join us on Substack for all our exclusive content and videos! New content daily!

https://www.thegodpodcast.com/subscribe

Watch the video!

Dear Humans,

I never could have imagined how emotional the past few days would make me. I have cried more tears of joy, hope, and pride than I can remember. For the first time in a long time, I am filled with hope for the future. Joe Biden's decision to step down wasn't just a brilliant chess move; it was a symbolic passing of the torch from one generation to the next. And all the next generation wants to do is save the world. They have been champing at the bit for a while.

I haven't been this excited about a candidate since 2008. Kamala Harris stepping up and shining in her new role is truly inspiring. Watching her rise to the occasion fills me with immense pride and excitement for what lies ahead. According to new polls today, Kamala is already beating Trump in the polls by 2 points, and she has barely just begun!

Of course, we couldn't help but laugh at the Republicans' feeble attempts to criticize her. Their main complaint? They don't like her laugh. It's comical how they grasp at plastic straws. Meanwhile, Trump is sulking over the money he wasted attacking Biden. HAHAHAHA!

Trump attacked the Capitol to cling to power, while Biden voluntarily stepped down for the greater good. This concept of giving up power makes no sense to fascists, it's as foreign to them as love.

In this moment of transition and hope, let's embrace the future with open hearts and minds. Together, we can rally around Kamala and defeat the power of Trumpian fascism forever.

With hope and love,

God and Jesus

Dear Humans,

Today Jesus and I sit-down with Johnny Palmadessa, a sharp young Democratic Strategist who found himself in the thick of chaos at the Trump campaign rally where a mass shooting occurred on Saturday. One innocent bystander lost their life, and Donald came within 2 inches bullet going through his brain.

Johnny shares his firsthand account of the event. Jesus and I tried to wrap our minds around it, and let me tell you, it's not easy processing this kind of madness.

Johnny's story is a sobering reminder of the real consequences of divisive rhetoric. It's a wake-up call, a cosmic nudge, if you will, to re-evaluate who you're supporting and why. Who will attract more chaos like a magnet in the future? Who will work to calm things down?

So, do yourselves a favor and watch the full interview. Trust me, it's worth your time. You'll hear Johnny's harrowing experience, and maybe, just maybe, you'll come away with a clearer understanding of the gravity of the situation. Plus, Jesus and I throw in some of our classic banter to keep things light. You won't want to miss it.

Love,

God

PS - Watch the video!

https://www.thegodpodcast.com/p/surviving-the-trump-assassination

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