The Greatest Generation

When some stripper glitter starts clogging critical ship systems, the Entrepreneur crew have a much worse problem to deal with—and she has kompromat on the show’s writers. In what way does this differ from Burning Man? What’s wrong with Adam’s chili recipe? Is the ship’s computer rejecting the premise of the episode? How is Minister Campio ever gonna get a square job when he has all those crazy tats? It’s the episode that separates the Pee-Wee from The Boys.

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When Captain Picard returns to Earth to give a commencement speech at Wesley (The BOY?!) Crusher's academy graduation, no one stops to consider what happened LAST time he was in the Terran system. Meanwhile, Wesley's entire squadron is under investigation after an accident kills a teammate. Is it possible to hear embarrassment? Should you always start a speech with a joke? How much loaf are you allowed to bring through customs? It's the episode that's as comfortable as possible, at the expense of looking good.

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When the Entrepreneur asplode, this one Sonny and Cher song keeps playing over and over again, and it’s giving Geordi a headache. The crew starts to become aware that there may in fact be a glitch in the Matrix, and the clock is ticking on coming up with a good escape plan. Why doesn’t the ship have any crumple zones? What’s the best way to ruin the film Undercover Brother? Does Riker have a little bit of palsy? It’s the episode that establishes Frasier as Canonical Trek.

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When the Entrepreneur finds an area of space that does not conform with the crew's preconceptions, they aren't sure which pronouns to use to describe it. They face a similar challenge addressing a race of people inhabiting a nearby planet, which inspires Commander Riker to employ some Pea Soup diplomacy. Can we finally be funny about a serious story? How do you get stink off of a main character? What color is Worf's boogie board? It's the episode that features a brand new Previa!

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Worf’s run of bad back luck continues, and this time it’s a prognosis worse than death for the carpet-clad warrior. Now Dr. Crusher is desperate to stop another space Mengele from using Worf as a loafy Guinea pig, and Riker is disgusted with the Klingon’s fatalistic belief system. Is the ‘bay the only thing Worf hates more than doors? Are all spinal surgeons this Sajaky? Why are all of Picard’s opinions so chill? It’s the episode with the Ron Canada drinking game.

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When the Enterprise responds to a distress signal sent by an ugly starship, they decide to rendezvous with it in a dark planetarium. But after their away team returns acting strangely they start a firefight in ten-forward, where no glass table is safe. How far will O'brien go to avoid dinner with Keiko? How much prep is involved in trying a new orbit? Can a transporter help with "going clear"? It's the episode where we open some fresh cards!

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When the crew forgets who they are, an extra voice is added to the mix, confusing even the most careful radio listener. The ship is running silent on a critical mission to take out a hated enemy, but when Picard gets an itchy buoy-floating finger, the XO threatens mutiny. Is MacDuff using Riker’s battle bridge as his sleeping quarters? Who is typically armed when working on the bridge? Is the bad guy grosser, or less gross than Remmick? It’s an episode that can only be heard, and never seen.

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When the Enterprise crew tracks the path of some interstellar star trash, they discover a biosphere built inside an outlet mall. But when their genetically engineered population thinks about hitching a ride out of the way, Captain Picard has to decide how long to delay their decision. Why is everyone okay with eugenics all of a sudden? Who is at the top of the Moab IV food chain? Could we talk about John Hurt for a minute? It's the episode that's really a "Ron Canada Drinking Game."

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When some aliens with very upsetting temple loaf hitch a ride, Troi wakes up in a coma after one of them forces himself inside her mind. Unaware of the crime or its gravity, the crew tries to figure out what’s causing senior staff to slip into comas one by one. Is Riker really a horrible person? Did Marina Sirtis really punch that guy? It’s the episode that is almost impossible to make jokes about.

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When Data rescues the only survivor from a wrecked starship, his feats of strength are so impressive that the boy can't help but want to be like him. But when his android burlesque goes deeper than just getting a new haircut, the story about what happened on his ship gets called into question. What do you do about blown sideburns? Who wrote an insult in Troi's yearbook? What is the capitol of Nebraska? It's the episode the final chapter of "The Slickback Trilogy."

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