In this episode NicoleHeals expands on the idea of individuality and space, and uncovers additional layers to family enmeshment, including an interesting historical lens. Many families rely on enmeshment for emotional safety, which help to contribute to the formation of family roles. These roles do their job of keeping everyone in line, and both mentally and emotionally allows children to stay aligned with their parents. Yet in exploring the true functioning of family roles, NicoleHeals uncovers the adverse affects to an individuals sense of identity, as well as the deeper underbelly behind their enforcement.

Additionally, NicoleHeals uses a historical lens to further explain the function of enmeshment and family roles for people of color, using Black American history as an example, to show how communities of color have utilized enmeshment for physical safety and genuine survival while being displaced, as well as undergoing and fleeing genocide.

In this understanding, it is felt that we can all gain perspective to our individual and collective family struggles, while also understanding the options we have to today, and removing the guilt in utilizing them. Enjoy, and as always, happy healing!

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In this episode NicoleHeals explores and expands on individual space, and the true weight of the subconscious and how it correlates with our belief of how much space we have, vs. how much space is actually there. These beliefs come from somewhere, and while we are not the people that initially hurt us, it is our responsibility to heal, and we do that by exploring these beliefs and their true origin.

In the last episode it was said, “The space we were born with was vast. It was vast”, and it could not be any more true. We were born with such vast and open space to be ourselves, to have ourselves and to simply be. To get our needs met and have room for preferences! As we grow, that room becomes more and more narrow, to the point of lack. While that believed lack of space shows up in the home, it is also perpetuated by society, and so, this episode explores the age old question, "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"

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As I prepare for the next episode in this series on the topic of space - to be our individual, authentic selves - I felt called to share my new developments in my own healing journey, and that is the dissecting of accountability. If you're like me, you have a certain view of accountability and what it looks and feels like. A shame-based accountability that requires you to always fall on your sword, be sad, remorseful, and incredibly genuine in your distaste for your own behavior for the performance for other people, mainly our parents. Many of us were forced into a prison of shame that demonized one-time mistakes, and instead of getting help, we just got more punishment.

In this episode we talk about what this looks like in present time, and how celebrating oneself for all of our "small" wins, can help us break the accountability prison pattern mindset. Enjoy, and as always, happy healing! 💕

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In this episode NicoleHeals gets real about the true cost of space, and how the relief of letting go is often paired with the fear of what has been hiding underneath. There are many highs and lows of the healing journey, and the act of realizing you have space to be your individual self is no exception. NicoleHeals is here to reassure you and your inner child that, just because there's a period of feeling low, of negative, protective thoughts, beliefs, and patterns of the past surfacing after this high, confident realization, does not mean you've done anything wrong. When we adopt new beliefs that clash with who we *had* to be, our Selves way of solving that dissonance is by making present, conscious you aware of what is underneath, in order for you to make the necessary decisions to create balance and equilibrium. 

So, don't worry, you're not doing anything wrong, this is the Self's way of achieving balance, and you are just along for the ride.

2 resources on influencing your subconscious mind that helped me tremendously on understanding myself:

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In this episode NicoleHeals talks about the significance of SPACE in all parts of the healing journey, especially when moving out of survival mode. When we are in survival our identity shifts to an external source that we rigidly follow to keep us in love, acceptance, and connection with our parents, family, friends, peers, and the world. We cling to this survival identity as a way to stay safe, not noticing that we are abandoning our true selves at the same time. Over the years, the weight of being two people exhausts us and we break, then spend time trying to piece ourselves, our real selves, back together which begins about our healing journey.

The concept of space, of allowing ourselves the time and expansive area to turn into whoever we do, helps us to go within and use ourselves as a natural source to gain back who we actually are, however we do, however it happens. This space that we provide for us to cry over spilled milk, laugh at the silliest things, burp our loudest, and sing-scream out our rage allows us to return to the full range of what it means to be human, and come to an unconditional acceptance and love of the individual human that we naturally are. Enjoy, and as always, Happy Healing 💕

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Some updates on what's been going on and a new posting schedule. Thank yall for being patient with me and extending compassion within that patience. I appreciate yall <3

In this episode, NicoleHeals talks about the value of space and time within the process of any transformation, especially the journey of transformation into a deeper sense of sense, or *identity crisis*. In giving ourselves the space to change, not into a "safe" version we have concocted in our heads that aligns with our comfort zone, but truly change into who ever and whatever we are meant to be, we allow our current selves a chance to evolve and expand within *their* own right and timing, however it happens. We give ourselves the proper time to change, process what is happening, and *be* ourselves, without someone else holding the clock, and in honoring our *own* needs in this way, we accommodate for the person we are today, right now, in this moment. We appreciate this person and slow down from the striving, the racing to a non-existent finish line, and the subconscious urge to prove people wrong, and not only let ourselves *be*, but let ourselves *heal*.  Happy Healing 💕   

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Video can be viewed on the Spotify app, and simply on youtube :)

In this episode, NicoleHeals talks about the value of space and time within the process of any transformation, especially the journey of transformation into a deeper sense of sense, or *identity crisis*. In giving ourselves the space to change, not into a "safe" version we have concocted in our heads that aligns with our comfort zone, but truly change into who ever and whatever we are meant to be, we allow our current selves a chance to evolve and expand within *their* own right and timing, however it happens. We give ourselves the proper time to change, process what is happening, and *be* ourselves, without someone else holding the clock, and in honoring our *own* needs in this way, we accommodate for the person we are today, right now, in this moment. We appreciate this person and slow down from the striving, the racing to a non-existent finish line, and the subconscious urge to prove people wrong, and not only let ourselves *be*, but let ourselves *heal*.

Happy Healing 💕

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At some point in our early lives we lose ownership of our shine ✨. It is not only taken away from us, but we feel that it is our duty and responsibility to give it up in exchange for connection, for approval, for friendship, and for *survival*. There is a point in childhood where we are made to choose between our shine and surviving, and in choosing the latter we exchange our shine for the responsibility of other people's feelings and emotions, thoughts, opinions, and overall life experience. 

We feel that our behavior, our being, and the way we identify has a direct connection to other individuals, but also the collective as a whole, and in this episode NicoleHeals is here to tell you alllll of the ways that is just not true. Tune in to find out how the only experience we have a responsibility to is our own, and how, in knowing this, we can open up the path and start along the journey back to *our* shine! ✨☀️🌟

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