The Helmistry Pod

This episode is a re-release of Episode 22: Mother's Day Dread. I start out with an answer to a question I frequently got after it was first released. And then I add some additional information at the end about my 90-minute Self-Mothering Workshop for BIPOC women & femmes that you can register for here if you're interested in learning more about self-mothering.  When it comes to unloved children, Mother’s Day doesn’t bring up all the flowery, happy feelings it does for people with healthy non-toxic relationships with their mom.

 We don’t have the loving and supportive moms depicted in Hallmark commercials. For us, our moms aren’t our biggest cheerleaders, they’re our biggest tormentors.
⠀
So I’m sending love and support to the unloved children navigating tough emotions this Mother’s Day.


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Some of us had moms who mistreated us and were hostile to our needs. Self-mothering is the way to give yourself the love and support you needed from your mom, but didn’t get, so that you can start showing up in the world as the wonderful, magical, lovable person that you are.

In this workshop, I cover: ✨What self-mothering is/isn’t ✨Why self-mothering is essential to building self-trust ✨3 Ways to self-mother that will foster deeper self-trust.

You can sign-up to receive a recording here.

In today's episode, we chat more about the fifth way to live a life you love: be vulnerable.

We'll discuss:

- Why being raised to be a people-pleaser makes it hard to be vulnerable

- Why we close ourselves off to avoid being hurt

- The role our self-trust plays in our ability to trust other people

- Why you should celebrate the ways you're already succeeding at being vulnerable

Want to deepen your self-trust and allow yourself to show up vulnerably? 

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In today's episode, we chat more about the fourth way to live a life you love: be weird.

We'll discuss:

- Why we're programmed to be afraid of being considered weird

- Why I don't mind being considered weird as an Autistic person

- 5 tips to unleash your inner weirdo

- My upcoming private podcast: Self-trust for Weirdos (Learn more here)

Want to deepen your self-trust and give yourself permission to stop watering yourself down? 

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In today's episode, we chat more about the third way to live a life you love: go it alone.

We'll discuss:

- Why growth means outgrowing people

- Why we're afraid to leave people behind

- How to respond when people question your conflict resolution skills

- Why going it alone doesn't mean going unsupported

Want to deepen your self-trust and give yourself permission to walk away from people and things holding you back? 

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In today's episode, we chat more about the second way to live a life you love: give less fucks.

We'll discuss:

- Why we give so many fucks about what other people think

- What it looks like when we're giving way too many fucks about other people's opinions and expectations

- What to do to start giving way less fucks

Want to deepen your self-trust and give less fucks in the process? 

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Today we’re gonna dive deeper into the first of the six things living a life you love requires: light some shit on fire. In episode 52 I mentioned that lighting some shit on fire is essential to living a life you love because there are absolutely going to be thoughts and habits you have to get rid of, and people you’ll have to walk away from. Simply removing yourself from a toxic situation isn’t enough.

Visit the podcast show notes here to see links for everything discussed in this episode.

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In today's episode, I share 6 affirmations for BIPOC religious abuse survivors trying to manage their hearts and minds during this Lent/Easter season. So many BIPOC trauma healing spaces center on religion which alienates those of us trying to heal from racial and religious trauma. 

If you need words of encouragement from a religious abuse survivor to religious abuse survivors, this episode is for you.

The 6 affirmations I discuss today are:

1. I can connect with and surrender to my own sovereignty as the leader of my life.

2. I do not need to be religious to be deeply rooted in my culture & ancestry.

3. I am not a sinner, I'm a human doing human things and my humanity is sacred.

4. I am allowed to reject the notion that God/the Bible can be both abuser & healer.

5. I will honor my nervous system and give myself permission to unplug & disengage when I'm triggered.

6. I will not rush my trauma healing to fit other people's expectations and timelines.

Visit the podcast show notes here to see links for everything discussed in this episode.

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In today's episode, I'm sharing my favorite affirmation for when I'm in my head about having to do things a certain way because I "should" and how I coach myself to do the opposite of "fake it til you make it" by leaning into my humanity.

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In today's episode, I want to talk about a phrase that I like to say and I hear it a lot, especially in the coaching space, but I absolutely disagree with the tools and tips I’ve seen about how to make it happen. I’m sure you can guess the saying because it’s also the title of the episode, live a life you love.

We'll chat about what's really holding you back from living a life you love and the 6 things that living a life you love requires.

Podcast Show Notes

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Rooting for you!