The Horror Virgin

"Psytopics is like R&B Dianetics."

This week’s most unapologetically anti-fascist horror movie is... Freaky Tales. This film has everything: A Scott Pilgrim-style street brawl between punks and Nazis, a soft-spoken supervillain who can make a lisp sound menacing, and Sleepy Floyd, a samurai warrior who dunks on racists AND slices them in half. If you love magical realism, anarchist justice, and movies that ask, “What if vibes were weapons?”, this episode’s for you.

What did you all think of our episode on Freaky Tales?

Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and Instagram

Help Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirgin

Up Next: TERMINATOR 2 (1991)

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“You have the right to remain charming. Anything you say can and will be used to make me blush.”

This week’s most romantically unhinged horror movie is... Heart Eyes. This film has everything: A vineyard that produces a very bloody red, A killer throuple, And a masked maniac who forces a DTR mid-murder. If you love rom-com tropes, blood-soaked meet-cutes, and horror villains who demand emotional clarity, this episode’s for you!

What did you all think of our episode on Heart Eyes?

Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and Instagram

Help Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirgin

Up Next: Freaky Tails (2025)

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“Clyde is like child Hitler.”

This week’s most unhinged horror movie is… Pet Sematary 2. This film has everything: A stepdad who swings between “respect your mother” and “shoot the family dog” energy, a cat lover who will go full Liam Neeson on anyone who touches her pet, and Anthony Edwards navigating a love scene that takes a hard left into beastial nightmare territory. If you love dead pets, unhinged dads, and movies that make you scream “WAIT, IS HE HAVING SEX WITH A DOG?!,” this episode’s for you!

What did you all think of our episode on Pet Sematary II?

Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and Instagram

Help Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirgin

Up Next: Heart Eyes (2025)

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"It's like watching a commercial for the board game Mouse Trap."

This week’s craziest horror movie is… Final Destination 3. This film has everything: a Rube Goldberg Grim Reaper, the strangest public transportation premonition to date, and the best porn name outside of porn ever... Full Stop. If you love improbable physics, theme parks with anatomically correct devil statues, and a franchise that leans in to elaborate kills, this episode’s for you!

What did you all think of our episode on Final Destination 3?

Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and Instagram

Help Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirgin

Up Next: Pet Sematary 2 (1992)

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"She got hit so hard with a volleyball, she got sent into the ghost realm."

This week’s most unhinged horror movie is... Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2.

This film has everything: A Pandora’s box hidden in a room full of capes, The most haunted art class ever, And a ghost kiss so terrible, it blows up her headstone. If you love chaotic prom energy, haunted horses, and movies that answer the question “who packed this much evil into one trunk?”—this episode’s for you!

What did you all think of our episode on Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2?

Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and Instagram

Help Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirgin

Up Next: Final Destination 3 (2006)

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"You can't breathe through your butthole."

This week’s scariest horror movie is... A Quiet Place Part II. This film has everything: A baby in a Moses basket with a scuba mask, Emily Blunt flooding yet another basement like it’s her post-apocalyptic hobby, And a pirate radio station broadcasting nothing but Bobby Darin. If you love soundproof babies, damp trauma, and end-of-the-world DJs with a flair for the dramatic, this episode’s for you!

What did you all think of our episode on A Quiet Place 2?

Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and Instagram

Help Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirgin

Up Next: Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2 (1987)

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"Tell me more about the time you used the dildo medicinally.”

This week’s scariest movie is... Smile 2. This movie has everything: A Flatliners-style shock therapy plan that says “trauma, but make it crispy,” proof that Voss Water that might actually be a sinister organization, And a setup for Smile 3 where a stadium full of cursed teenage girls starts the smilepocalypse. If you love movies that fake you out with Pizza Hut metaphors and then kick you RIGHT in the feelings, this episode’s for you!

What did you all think of our episode on Smile 2?

Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and Instagram

Help Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirgin

Up Next: A Quiet Place 2 (2020)

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"If your husband comes back from the woods with a virus, just pack a bag and go."

This week’s slimiest horror movie is... Slither. This film has everything: a man so nice they infected him twice, A small-town countdown to deer season, and a "Backter" reveal that will blow your mind. If you love parasitic slugs, small-town chaos, and family values warped by alien hive minds, this episode’s for you!

Help Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirgin

What did you think of this episode? Tell us @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and Instagram

Up Next: Smile 2 (2024)

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"If you want it to be less formal, you’re gonna have to take off the fucks-edo."

This weeks scariest movie is... Night of the Comet. This movie has everything. A retail uprising led by Stockboy Willie, the patron saint of mall trauma, Survivors who were clearly chosen by Zordon for their teenage attitude and excellent hair, and a sexy comet that turns everyone into glittery Himalayan sea salt. If you love post-apocalyptic mall chaos, Power Rangers logic, and sparkly extinction events, this episode’s for you!

Help Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirgin

What did you think of this episode? Tell us @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and Instagram

Up Next: Slither (2006)

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"What if we turn on the death machine that gives us boners?"

This week’s horniest horror movie is... From Beyond. This film has everything: a scientist who accidentally builds a machine that unlocks the horny dimension, a sentient nut sack villain with a brain-dick, and Ken Foree fighting interdimensional monsters… in nothing but a Speedo. If you love cosmic horror, body horror, and movies that make you say, "Wait, does this need more sex or less?", this episode’s for you!

Help Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirgin

What did you think of this episode? Tell us @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and Instagram

Up Next: Night of the Comet (1984)

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.