Carmen and John talk about the recent Alec Baldwin kerfuffle/murder and many other sick Hollywood tragedies. Keeping on the showbiz theme, Carmen discusses a recent audition for a role that could change her life, but she's still on this podcast so obviously didn't get it. Also Netflix's MAID is discussed/ridiculed. GREAT show, but John has issues with it. Also John admits something HE HAS NEVER SPOKEN OF BEFORE. Also, Dave Chappelle. Also, the duo is no longer vegan and, more importantly, were they ever?

First and most importantly: Carmen just did a HUGE photo shoot for the cover of a magazine! Secondly, Happy Halloween! John and Carmen talk scary monsters (real ones in their neighborhood) and then breakdown the Number One show on Netflix. If you haven’t seen "Squid Game" by now, we have one question: who are you? Yes, there are problems with the show "Squid Game"...not this podcast. This podcast is effing perfect.  And you will agree. Also, John sings.

The duo regales you, the listener, with more stories about how Carmen and John's landlord hates Carmen. Of course, the reality is much more disturbing: he's in love with John. Also, Carmen shares tips on how to deal with claustrophobia if you ever need to sit in one of those metallic coffin MRI machines. The medical conversation gets even deeper - and funnier, we promise - when Carmen details all her many friends who've been diagnosed with breast cancer recently. Plus, Carmen is working on 300 paintings at the same time. Is that healthy? Let's see what her MRI says.

It's Carmen and John's sixth year anniversary as a couple and after you listen to this episode you can start betting whether it will be their last. Kidding! They have a blast as always talking about how John can't buy gifts, Carmen's first time galloping on a horse (she's galloped plenty of other times without one), and how Carmen recently clogged a toilet that wasn't hers. And, hey, if none of these topics beats your piñata, then at least stick around to hear them celebrate National Hispanic History Month, ya gosh darn racists.

The only thing Carmen does more than exercise is brag about how much she exercises and this episode is no different as she regales John in the advantages of CrossFit training. Then the couple talk about their recent trip to visit Carmen's extended family in Spain during the Delta Variant European Tour. During this trip, one of Carmen's uncles almost gets John to start drinking again. It has to be heard to be be believed. Plus, C & J argue about the movie on everyone's minds: 1991's "The Crying Game." It gets intense, but no one cries so there's that.

John brags about how much he knows about comics. Also there's animation talk which is not the same thing as comics so try to keep up. Carmen doesn't know much about any of it but Lord knows that doesn't keep her from talking. A lot. She's seen the Simpsons once so back off! Also, Carmen's IG is @carmencomedian. Telling you because, well, if you listen you'll know why. So listen.

Carmen welcomes one of her Spanish comedian friends, Patricia Galvan, because John is nowhere to be found. Oh but also because Patricia is hilarious, and a bisexual Mormon who had a "special situation" with a bag of potatoes that must be discussed. Oh and also, Patricia lives in Spain so Carmen brings up the most important topics of all Spanish topics:  independence, diversity, and royal family inbreds. ¿¿¿QUE???

The duo's favorite holiday is discussed and it has everything to do with books and reading. You know John just published a book, right? It's filled with cartoons! Go to his Instagram page to find the link on Amazon: @afistfulofbabies. Carmen is also in this episode. Specifically the part where she asks John to talk about his fetish for washing old ladies (oh, man, there's John again!). Anyway, if you like Donna Tart, Philip Roth and Ayn Rand you're going to kinda sorta love this episode maybe!

It's that time of year again: John's colon check AND Back to School for the kiddies! Carmen and John discuss their favorite school memories and a few....boogers (not a few sadly, but a lot). Carmen really gets into the difference between school in Spain and America while John listens...for once. Also at another point, John remembers a time when he was in high school and racial slurs were used against HIM! Now there's a switch, huh, guys? You still there? Try to keep up.

John and Carmen spend most of this episode talking about a piece of television that is more important than anything you've ever done or will do with your life. Seriously. You think you're important? "The White Lotus" television series program is right now saving the world while you sit there with your puny genitals in your hand crying into your soup. Just kill yourself. But before you do, listen to this episode, it's great!