The Human Centipod

Carmen talks about her experiences at this year's Moontower Comedy Festival and the edibles she took there and what they did to her brain for 12 hours. Then Carmen keeps talking, this time about a big TV shoot she did. She tries not to give away details, but fails horribly. Thank god for editing. Meanwhile, John has a big announcement that's stupid and also sucks. Movie review this week: Netflix's “Anatomy of a Scandal” with Sienna Miller and some guy who looks like Orlando Bloom but isn't, but should be.

Happy Easter! Carmen tells John how Easter is different in Spain. The duo then relates who got more gifts for Christmas before Carmen turns everything into a nightmare as she regales all in the story of the Tooth Fairy in Spain. Spoiler alert: it's a rat. Plus, Easter means spring cleaning which leads John and Carmen to go back in time when John discovers old mix tapes from ex-girlfriends. Of course this leads to Carmen role playing as John's exes. Of course.

The Republican sponsored crime wave finally reaches our hosts when Carmen witnesses a murder in the streets of NYC and tells you all about it. Also, John is really upset that other people have podcasts and learns that constant "mid-sentencing" isn't just happening on THC. (Bill Maher and Quentin Tarantino mid-sentence one another ALL THE TIME). The duo then talks about vermin which is nasty but also fun, like horror-movie fun. But, seriously, don't eat during this part. 

Carmen and John do a movie review of an actual movie for once. Sure it's a ten year old movie, but at least it's a movie. Movie. That's a fun word to say over and over, isn't it? Try it. We'll wait. Okay, great, now back to this episode synopsis: later, the duo discusses comedian Riki Lindhome's breasts and Carmen ponders whether or not she'd ever get nude for a movie role. Movie. Movie. Mov...(sorry). Finally, Car-Jo (that's Carmen and John to you) wrap up by sharing the separate vacations they recently took from each other.

Carmen and John talk about the recent Netflix show starring the Veronica Mars chick except John knows it's a parody and Carmen thinks it's the real deal. But they both agree, it sure is a television show so it's dumb. Then they break down Showtime's "Yellowjacket" and one of them gets very angry about Christina Ricci's eyeballs. This leads to John telling the true horrific story of people he knows who survived a plane crash (in the effing ocean)! Plus new songs and a sad attempt at a fake commercial. In other words, another great new episode!

To celebrate part two of "Women's History Month" Carmen and John talk about BAD GIRLS. You know, like Casey Anthony, Lizzie Borden, and Anna Chlumsky's acting. Also in this episode: Carmen gives John a female-centric quiz with questions like "If a woman asks her boyfriend if another woman is hot, should the boyfriend answer honestly or just drop dead already, you bastard?" Carmen and John reveal too much of their own experiences in this area. Of course they make it about themselves, they are in show business, what do you expect?

It's "Women's History Month," or as Carmen calls it, "Not Your Month, John." To celebrate, Carmen shares a list of her fave reasons she's a woman. Sure, that doesn't make much sense, but it eventually leads to things that do. Then John and Carmen discuss Netflix's "Inventing Anna" which they loved to hate. Plus, the duo sings lots of new songs (or maybe just one, but it feels like a LOT).

Carmen and John go on a Movie Review rampage as they dissect three recent movies and one popular TV series very, very poorly, but extremely loudly and combatively: The Rock’s "San Andreas," the new "Tarzan," and "Kong vs. Godzilla" plus "Cobra Kai" Season Four. Then they talk Prague leftover stories and finally John brings to the listener's ears the long awaited Nathan Lane story. Meanwhile, Carmen talks about her sexual needs including wanting to be saved by Tarzan. That sound you hear is John buying a loincloth and, yes, that is a sound one can hear, don't question!

In memory of Meatloaf, John binges on beef jerky throughout the episode. The duo discusses how their landlord regifted their Xmas gift back to them. But only the stuff in it that he didn't like (it was a box of treats and they were ALL delicious!) Also they discuss John‘s scrotal pack…that’s right every scrotum has a pack, but John's is unique. FUN GAME: Find out which celeb will die next.  Meanwhile, Carmen's self-diagnosed ADHD kicks in and causes John to have a meltdown. Then the podcast episode ends...eventually.

The duo discuss the new movie "Nightmare Alley" starring Badboy Cooper. It's a story about carnies and Carmies as the "Tonight Show" star makes clear when she compares carnival acts to stand up comedians. Then John shares his new skill (hint: it involves his butt). Plus: Carmen talks pro's and cons of owning furry handcuffs before relating her big interview on "CBS This Morning " recently (where she did NOT talk about owning furry handcuffs).