Carmen and John’s guest in this episode is André Darlington, food critic extraordinaire and author of eight books including his latest: “BAR MENU: 100+ Drinking Food Recipes for Cocktail Hours at Home.” André gets everyone in the holiday spirit by talking nifty liquor and food combos. He then shares which are the drunkest countries in the world and also fascinating histories behind some of your favorite cocktails. As the episode continues, Carmen and John get drunk on all the fun and you’re guaranteed to feel it, too. Or at least the hangover.

Carmen went to Skankfest (held in Vegas this year - zowie!), gives a full report, and that’s the cleanest part of this episode. Lots of filthy talk in this one - not the curse-word kind, more the disgusting details of life type. Earwax build up, feathered asses, nipple pasties, the works. Then Carmen reviews movies John hasn’t seen and they all have a similar theme - they suck. Also, they’re about climbing (hence, they suck). You know what doesn’t suck? YOU - mostly because you read this far. Enjoy!

Carmen and John do a movie review of an actual movie for a change: The Innocents on Netflix. This leads to discussion of their most favorite recent horror movie (Can you guess what IT is? Hint, hint.). Then Carmen and John discuss a rodent problem in their beautiful home. Including their experiences with a caustic exterminator and Carmen’s NJ apartment vermin problems which were way worse back in the day. Then they may or may not see an actual mouse DURING the record. Also: Fake commercials!

Carmen has a run-in with her old flame - DAVE! That’s David Letterman to you. They talked for about 10 minutes so of course Carmen and John talk about that talk for about 20. Also, this is a "Cobra Kai" heavy ep because the duo just binged the tawagoto out of Season 5. All they need now is for Johnny Lawrence (not Walker, that’s alcohol, CARMEN!) on the show. BONUS: The couple compares the Kai to Stranger Things and dare to pick a favorite!

Hilarious stand up comedian and star of "The Ms Pat Show" on B.E.T., MS. PAT blesses The Human Centipod with her kick-ass presence for the full episode! The duo jumps right in when John congratulates her for her Emmy nom (mostly as an excuse to mention he won one) and then things spiral out into hilarity from there as the duo grills Ms. Pat on such topics as how to stop selling crack and start doing stand up. Also covered: what it's like when a white woman directs an all-black cast in a TV show that liberally drops the n-word. By the end, the THC Hall of Fame-er (we're calling it right now) is telling the audience how to buy a house without getting cheated and convincing Carmen that her parents probably use dildoes (and label them). Sit down, strap in, and shut the eff up as Ms. Pat takes the mic! BONUS INTERVIEW segment available only to Patreon members!

Carmen and John have had comedian Patricia Galván on the show before, but never to such an extent that John is clear kicked off the ep entirely. That's okay, he can use the downtime to learn Spanish as Carmen and Patricia recount their recent shows together in Miami. The Spanish ladies also talk about the difference between doing comedy shows in English and in Spanish. Then Patricia discusses life in Spain with her family (and Mormon dad) and the rampant racism she’s encountered not just in America but even in her own country. Finally, the duo sing real Spanish songs and Patricia updates Carmen on Spanish superstars because Carmen only knows Enrique Iglesias. The whole thing is in English but "¡Que te lo pases bien!"

Summer is over and so is any real reason for living, but the duo tries to push on anyway as they speak of what they'll miss most from the hottest June through August on record. Then the duo movie reviews the horse out of "Nope." Plus Carmen tells a heartwarming story about a transient. Then Carmen brings everyone down discussing a good cause linked to her mom‘s recent multiple myeloma diagnosis and how she's (Carmen, not her mom) running to raise money for the cure. If you'd like to help, please visit: https://give.themmrf.org/fundraiser/4055138 

John's also in this episode somewhere but you may have to squint your ears to find him.

Carmen’s sister, El, visits the podcast from Spain. She talks about what she loves/hates about the differences between America and Spain. Then she relates her obsession with Hallmark Channel movies which sadly can only be seen in America (sadly for Americans). Then Carmen grills her on the differences between the Spanish language and the Catalan language (don’t call it a dialect!). BONUS: one of Carmen’s nieces makes a cameo to grill Carmen (and John) on their Catalan knowledge. Guess who does better.

Carmen discusses her recent comedy tour for the military with her friend Kyle Ocasio that included stops in Italy, Turkey and Your Mom's Box. She also goes into great detail about having a Turkish bath which John repeatedly begs her to tell slower. Then the duo interviews Carmen's teen nieces from Spain. Topics covered: favorite American food, Roe v Wade, Carmen's fashion sense, European football vs. American, Carmen's sister (their mother) and the fact that Carmen has no fashion sense.

Congratulations to THE HUMAN CENTIPOD for reaching their 100th episode! Or 101st. (They're not very well organized.) But hey, the important thing is for everyone listening to congratulate them with a big, fat, positive review on iTunes! THANKS! Meanwhile, to celebrate, Carmen tells the story of how she recently saved an old lady’s life in an elevator. And John remenisces about a very special pair of pants. Then Carmen and John role-play as the people who won the recent $1.6 billion Mega Balls Lottery Balls. What an episode! Here's to a hundred (or a hundred and one) more!