It's Carmen's birthday month so you know you'll never hear the end of it. She and John regale you, the listener, in their various birthday pasts. Then it's on to the movie review segment where Carmen takes a simple premise from a straightforward documentary about mountain climbing and manages to mangle it beyond comprehension. But don't worry, John quickly swoops in and makes things even more confusing. The fun continues when Carmen shares the titles she's workshopping for her memoir about living with scoliosis. Plus there's more role-play and more fake commercials, meaning more abortions of comedy.

Want to know the best way to destroy Kylie Jenner? Pull a "Lindsay Ellis" on her. Who's that you ask? Well hit play and find out, why doncha? Also Carmen and John are off to an amazing start to the new year when their landlord ups and dies. Now what? You'll have to listen for that answer, too. Other topics discussed include listener feedback from the previous episode and more Nicolas Cage love. Plus failed fake commercials and, oh god, lots more singing.

Carmen and John discuss resolutions and why they’re so easy to stick to and how lame everyone is who can't.  Plus John talks about the time he received sex tips from Dr. Ruth! Also, Carmen sings a lot. And then some random Spanish woman also sings. Then John makes a resolution he knows he will break involving not talking about a certain something for a whole year. Hmmmm....Can you guess what it could possibly be????

Merry Centimas, pod puds! John and Carmen have a load of Christmas treats in this ep which include singing original Christmas songs that will mangle the holiday season right in front of your ears. Do you know who Piss Beard, the scourge of Los Feliz, is? Well you will after listening! Plus Christmas traditions are discussed and fought over. Happy holidays to all and to all a good fight!

In this ep, John chews the scenery as usual and Carmen literally eats. She also gets her leg hairs lasered off and then divulges other womanly secrets. Singed hair reminds John of a story from his high school days involving a fellow student with the best name ever. Seriously. You won't believe how amazing this name is. Also, this person later grows up to having something very important to do with the "X Files" TV show. No joke. Plus Carmen talks her latest obsession: NBC's American Ninja Warrior which leads her to tell the tale of how she once auditioned for "Survivor." But the big question is...Can you, the listener, survive this episode????

WARNING: Carmen is drunk during this recording. She mainly talks (slurs) about what stand up has personally been like for her after lockdown. Then John makes Carmen tell of the time just yesterday she saw a man sh*t on the street outside their home (the real reason she's probably drinking). Since John never sees this kind of crazy stuff, it begs the question:  Is Carmen a magnet for chaos or just extremely observant? The duo next discusses the real heroes in America. And finally, the duo reviews the movie PIG starring Nicholas Cage. So, you know, they end things all classy.

Liza Minnelli is back to introduce The Human CentiPOD's latest "Greatest Hits" episode. Listen to Carmen and John appreciate the gays as they recap which same-sex person they'd sleep with if they could force that person to have sex with them and not get arrested. Also, the duo loves performing role play (well, one of them loves it more than the other to be honest) and there's an example of that which you're sure to listen to. The hosts then save the best for last when they play A MONTAGE OF ALL OF THEIR INCREDIBLE JINGLES!!! (Don't worry they will always make more.) Are they professional singer-songwriters now??? YOU DECIDE.

John spent six years writing and performing for The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson and each year they had a different Thanksgiving monologue. Now John shares the best and the worst (sometimes one and the same!) of the Thanksgiving jokes he wrote. Meanwhile, Carmen tells riddles from the internet. Then you decide which you like best: what John worked hard on all those years ago, or the boring internet. PLUS SPECIAL UPDATE: Carmen finally reveals which magazine she appears on the cover of and shares her photos with John from her supermodel shoot, so you get John's real-deal LIVE reaction! 

Carmen gives a thumbs up to the latest book she read about a hermit living alone in the woods for 27 years. Then John gets jealous. Not of Carmen's ability to read, but that there's a guy who got to spend that much time alone without anyone bothering him. Also John speaks about a recent trip to the ER (so maybe he wouldn't do well in the woods alone after all). Plus listener feedback from a previous episode and Rudy Giuliani stops by to say hello and goodbye.

Carmen and John talk doppelgängers and ponder why Carmen has TWELVE of them, which look exactly like her, but nothing like each other. It's weird! Then John gets angry about a stranger dude who confronted Carmen about her mask wearing in public. Okay, it wasn't so much a confrontation as him muttering something under his breath, but it was still loud enough for her to hear so back off. Also they review a little talked about murder series on Netflix that is amazeballs which leads to them discussing their separate adventures in Copenhagen. Well, John's isn't so much an adventure as a grasping for memories from 70 years ago, but Carmen's is like a scene right out of a scary movie so back off again.  Now back off and listen!