The Human Centipod

Littered with guest anecdotes from a bunch of NY comedians throughout, Carmen and John reflect on graduation from kindergarten, high school, college, life, etc. Then John has a college buddy on to tell listeners the story of a big celeb's keynote speaker address at a graduation before he was horribly cancelled. Let's just say, if you're the triggered type, skip that part. But you won't want to miss it.

WARNING: Liza Minelli may or may not make an appearance! (Click play for immediate answer) Also, Carmen and John talk about their fantasy gay one night stands with celebs they are currently crushing on. Naturally they end up getting into a heated discussion about who is a better pretend gay lover. Wow. There's so much gay to discuss this month that this is just part one of TWO Gay Pride episodes on The Human GAY Centipod Gay!

A discussion about the top five countries where The Human CentiPOD is heard leads to the movie "Midnight Express", which reminds Carmen of the time she almost went to prison in India. John then recounts his travels to Russia where he bought KGB badges in the blackmarket. This worldly episode is about to make your FOGO much, much worse.

Carmen and her good friend Irene recently went GLAMPING and Carmen has to explain it to John. But to be fair, she also has to explain a can opener to John, so yeah it's one of those episodes. Anyway, other topics in this nearly 40 minute extravaganza include birds, sheep, oysters, kids, SABERING (it's not what you think! Wait...what did you think???) And then there's the story of John trying to get his son to camp that one time (camp not glamp. He would've loved THAT).

Carmen and John talk horror on TV: monsters, racism, and Alison Pill's head. Also Handmaid's Tale is back and who gives a poo? Carmen and John do. Mainly because Carmen wants to play all the roles. Then they continue with the horror theme when John decides to sing. Plus dating tips for when Covid is finally cured never.

John’s first foray into public gatherings since Covid was cured happens to be at a wake where he almost turns a tragedy into a bigger one. In a new cooking segment, Carmen shows John how to eat like a vegan while keeping his snide comments to himself. Finally, Carmen asks you, the listener, to decide what’s worse: John’s funeral faux pas or what the meat industry does to cows that you put in your mouth?

When Carmen accidentally sends a sensitive email to the absolutely wrong person, John tries to make her feel better by sharing his greatest email eff ups. But this instead sparks a competition between the two about who has the greatest “technology sucks” story. Also, death is talked about a lot and the two role play how to talk to someone who's just lost somebody. (TIP: don’t use any of this advice in real life.)

Like most first world people with no cares at all, Carmen and John are obsessed with serial killers and movies and television about serial killers. This episode contains a first: a serial killer movie that Carmen and John did NOT see together. So John gets to experience the role of THC listener hearing about a movie and Carmen's take on it for the first time. And oh man, it goes so well. Guys? So well. Also, John has a true report of what gangs are up to in NYC now that the pandemic is winding down and if you haven't heard about it, prepare to have your do-rag blown off from shock. Guys? Seriously, blown right the eff off your head.

Covid has ended and we're all back to normal. Things are so normal so fast, in fact, that Carmen went back on the road before she had a chance to record this ep. But no worries, John found UNAIRED and SEXY recordings from the not-so-distant past that include lots of Carmen talking with John about such topics as their love of the German language, Carmen's babysitting days, and a recent movie review of a TV show that's actually popular. So there.

Carmen has a real tendency to get all "tit for tat" with John in general, but this episode is non-stop titting and tatting. Which leads to a fight which is more awkward than funny, but they'll take it. And speaking of fighting, the pair also talk about Liam Neeson's latest and how there's nothing this guy can film that these two won't watch. Seriously. Carmen and John would watch this dude read the phone book and then watch him stomp on the phone book's windpipe because come on, it's Liam Fucking Neeson. He's like that.