The Mom Psychologist Show

Don’t forget to check out my free discipline workshop, “How to Get Your Child to Listen Without Yelling”

Navigating our children's intense emotions can sometimes feel like we're walking on eggshells.

We try to connect and validate but it rarely feeling like it's "working."

And then sometimes we say certain buzzwords or ask simple questions and it REALLY sets our child off.

In this week's episode, I explore the top 4 things your child doesn't want to hear when they're frustrated and angry and WHY. I also share alternatives to try out next time to connect and re-direct behavior.

Don’t forget to check out my free discipline workshop, “How to Get Your Child to Listen Without Yelling” - www.themompsychologist.com/workshop

It's morning time and you just need to get your child to put on their shoes and jacket but they're dawdling... Ahh!!! You find yourself yell, "Hurry up!!!"

Or maybe it's the evening and you're trying to wrap things up for the day. You're exhausted so you blurt out, "C'mon, c'mon. Let's go!!!"

Only to realize it doesn't work.

I know it's tempting to fall back on shouting at our kids to hurry when we're in a rush.

But it often just leads to more dawdling because now they feel pressured and can sense our impatience.

In this week's episode, I share 4 things to try saying instead of "Hurry up!!" to help your child get things done quickly.

And remember, it's not that we NEVER say these things. It's just that the more tools we have, the better!

Let me know down in the comments which one you're going to try!

I know a lot of focus is on helping kids make better choices so that we raise respectful humans and I love this.

But I also think that we must balance these conversations with holding ourselves accountable & shining a light on the ways in which we influence situations.

Here's the thing - We are all "guilty" of triggering our children.

This is not about shaming ourselves ("I'm such a bad parent. Every time I read parenting content I'm reminded of how much I'm failing.").

This is about taking accountability for the ways in which we may be triggering our child's anger without even realizing it.

At the end of the day, parenting is about our relationship with our child.

So as long as we are *only* focusing on our child and the ways in which they aren't measuring up, we will miss opportunities to take accountability (and thus see growth).

In this week's episode, I share the 5 most common ways we trigger our child to either lash out in anger or shut down - and most importantly, simple tweaks you can make to your parenting approach to add more clarity and connection to your relationship with your child.

Now that it's officially gift giving season, I wanted to be sure to address the issue of teaching kids manners.  

I know it's so tempting to demand our kids tell the gift giver THANK YOU. And I know during these moments we want to make sure our child shows their gratitude for the things they receive.

But rather than force gratitude, I'm a huge fan of teaching kids  *why* showing our appreciation for others' kindness is important and modeling the skills we want to teach them.  

Now hear me out - I'm not against prompting our kids to say 'Thank you' and I'm definitely a fan of teaching our kids' manners.  Let's just be sure to mix in some teaching and modeling. And remember, kids can show their appreciation with their actions (hugs, high fives) not just their words.

So in this episode, I'll share tips on how to teach kids gratitude and things to say during those awkward moments when your child receives a gift and says...nothing... 😑

// Don’t forget to check out my free discipline workshop, “How to Get Your Child to Listen Without Yelling” - www.themompsychologist.com/workshop //

We talk all year long about positive parenting but I wanted to be sure to provide holiday-specific tips because this time of year tends to bring JOY and CHALLENGES.  

It's exciting but can also feel stressful, busy and overwhelming for both parents and kids. 

What I want to first point out is that if your child seems more difficult this time of the year than normal, this is a commonly due to underlying stress.

Children aren't really good communicators and can't sit us down and say, "Mom, dad, I'm feeling stressed right now. I feel like I have no down time and seeing all these people feels both exciting and overwhelming. I need some help coping..."

Ha! Wouldn't that be nice!

Instead, they will show their stress with their behavior, like crankiness, sassiness, defiance, clinginess, and of course, tantrums. 😰

So the key is look out for these signs and when we see them, try our best to lower their stress.

Of course, we can't prevent ALL stress – we just want to be more mindful of this especially during the holiday season.

So in this week's episode, I'll share my top 3 positive parenting tips for preventing stress during this holiday season!  

// Don’t forget to check out my free discipline workshop, “How to Get Your Child to Listen Without Yelling” - www.themompsychologist.com/workshop //

My two preschoolers started school back in August and we are still getting in the swing of things.

We were late the first day of school, due to all the traffic, & it was literally my worst nightmare. 😅😂

Now that we've been practicing our school morning routine for several months, I thought it would be fun to share some behind the scenes of what our mornings tend to look like.

I'm always curious how other parents manage the hectic morning routine so I figured many of you might be curious how we navigate hectic school day mornings with two preschoolers. 

Now huge disclaimer - No mornings are ever perfect or exactly the same. This is the general flow we usually follow that's been working for us, but by no means, is our routine the be all, end all.
//Don’t forget to check out my free discipline workshop, “How to Get Your Child to Listen Without Yelling” - www.themompsychologist.com/workshop //

Ah, chores! Similar to mealtime, bedtime, and potty training, chores are a perfect breeding ground for power struggles!  

Now I actually like to frame chores as family contributions because it helps set the stage for why we do these things in the first place. 

It's important we establish routines around family contributions because it sends our kids the clear message that they matter! Our kids come to learn that they play a huge role in keeping the family running smoothly and their contributions make a difference (which boosts their self esteem and feelings of significance).

It also teaches them:   

Life skills 

Work ethic 

Appreciate the work of others 

Curbs entitlement 

Teaches independence  

I'm a huge fan of beginning to teach this practice during the toddler years because again, it sends a strong message that everyone contributes to the family (all year long) no matter how young or busy you are.

But I get it, it's not always so easy to motivate our kids to actually want to do their chores so in this week's episode, I discuss:

The best (and easiest) way to enlist more cooperation when it comes to chores

Simple ways to start a chore routine

3 tips for enlisting more cooperation during chores

Don’t forget to download my free chore checklists for a list of age appropriate chores and a chore chart to help you get started! - www.themompsychologist.com/chores

I think one of the most powerful gifts we can give our kids is the gift of knowing how to be smart with our money.

After all, money touches every area of our lives (whether we talk about it or not) and it also ties into our overall sense of safety & security.

Yet, did you know... The majority of families tend to shy away from having conversations about it (even though kids begin to form their core beliefs & habits about money by age 7!).
 
And I know, there's a lot of buzz around whether or not kids should to get an allowance.  

In this week's episode, I share:
-Whether or not I think giving kids an allowance is a good idea
-The one huge (& common) mistake parents make when it comes to teaching about money
-The huge paradigm shift that must happen in your family when you start teaching about money
-Helpful resources and tools to teach your kids about money
-And so much more!

Resources Mentioned: https://a.co/7yxcc5o 

// Join the waitlist for my private parent coaching community, The Mom Sisterhood - http://www.themompsychologist.com/sisterhood

// Don’t forget to download my free chore checklists for a list of age appropriate chores and a chore chart to help you get started! - www.themompsychologist.com/chores

I know for many of us, becoming a calmer parent is one of our top priorities.  And I love this for us because this places less of the focus on trying to fix and control our child and instead, focuses on what we CAN control, which is our own behaviors and choices as parents.  

But let's be real - Handling our parenting triggers and staying calm in the moment is a lot easier said than done.  

And we're not always going to get this right.

In this week's episode, I want to share a simple step by step guide to managing parenting triggers in the moment.  Towards the end of the video, I also share my own personal experience with anger and what helps me to manage my own parenting triggers.

Don’t forget to check out my free resource, "A Simple Guide to Becoming a Calmer Parent" -- www.themompsychologist.com/calmparenting

Let's face it - The pressure on us parents is endless and we're often stressed, which makes it hard to stay calm.

Though I know, becoming a calmer parent is often what we want MOST. So why is it so easy to feel triggered and angry at our kids even when we don't *want* to be?

In parenting, anger is used to defend against our sense of self.  Anger makes us feel powerful and it makes us feel like we're DOING something to change our circumstance (And help our kids learn better).  But oftentimes, our anger backfires because it escalates the situation and leaves us feeling guilty and ashamed.

So in this week's episode, I share 3 common reasons why you're so angry with your kids (with examples and thoughts many parents have).

Understanding the WHY is the first best step to becoming a calmer parent.

Hope you enjoy!

//FREE Resource: A Simple Guide to Becoming a Calmer Parent: http://www.themompsychologist.com/calmparenting //