NEW YORK CITY CRIME STORIES - RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES OF THE BLOOD-SPLATTERED PAGES OF THE NYC TABLOID PRESS - AND REPORTED WITH IRREVERENCE, INELEGANCE AND UTTER DISREGARD FOR EVERYTHING EXCEPT THE TRUTH. 

- A 100,000 POUND TRAIN CAR BARRELS INTO HOBOKEN STATION.

- A CROSS-DRESSING HOOKER'S CORPSE, DISCOVERED IN THE TRUNK OF A 2010 NISSAN SENTRA. (QUEENS)

- A VINDICTIVE WIFE TATTLES ON HER BIGAMIST, CHURCH DEACON HUSBAND, POSSIBLY AFTER SEEING PICS OF HIM WITH HIS SECRET WIFE ON HIS FACEBOOK PAGE.

- AND MUCH, MUCH MORE. WITH GAVIN MCINNES.

ALL SUSPECTS INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY. ALL STORIES TRUE AS REPORTED IN THE NY TIMES, NY POST, NY DAILY NEWS, DNAINFO.COM AND OTHER SOURCES.

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CHELSEA BOMBING

CRAZED "MICRO-JIHADIST" HACKS COP'S FACE WITH A CLEAVER

CITY PULLS INTERNET SERVICE DUE TO PUBLIC MASTURBATION COMPLAINTS

A WOMAN LIVES WITH HER SON'S CORPSE FOR 10 YEARS

WITH CLAYTON FLETCHER

ALL SUSPECTS ARE INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY

TRUE CRIMES, SATIRICAL STATEMENTS, COMEDY, ENJOY.

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A 21-YR-OLD "PERFORMANCE ARTIST" RELEASES HUNDREDS OF CRICKETS IN A CROWDED SUBWAY CAR.

A JUDGE WILL DECIDE THE FATE OF CEASAR, AN ILL-TEMPERED PITBULL WHO'S KILLED MULTIPLE PETS AND BITTEN MORE THAN ONE PERSON.

A MAN IS ACCUSED OF SWINDLING AN OLD LADY, MAKING HIMSELF THE PRIMARY BENEFICIARY IN HER WILL.

SATIRICAL SHOW, ALL SUSPECTS PRESUMED INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY.

GUEST - COMEDIAN AND ACTOR, CLAYTON FLETCHER

AN EX-COP, TURNED PIMP, REARRESTED FOR VIOLATING HIS BAIL AFTER POSTING JAY-Z LYRICS ABOUT PIMPING AND HANGING OUT WITH WHORES AT HOT-SHEETS HOTELS.

THE POLICE COMMISSIONER RETIRES AMID A SCANDAL AT NYPD AND PROTESTERS CALLING FOR HIS HEAD.

AN IMAM IS GUNNED DOWN IN BROAD DAYLIGHT WITH HIS AIDE IN QUEENS, AND THE NYPD IS INVESTIGATING IT AS A HATE CRIME.

WITH GUEST DUSTIN CHAFIN.

ALL TRUE STORIES. ALL SUSPECTS ARE INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY. ALL COMMENTS INTENDED AS SATIRE. 

FROM THE SMALLEST ROOM IN NEW YORK CITY

COMES A SHOW THAT GIVES YOU A REASON TO LIVE.

- MURDER - IN COURT, THE ACCUSED MURDERER OF BROOKLYN SLUMLORD MENACHEM STARK. THE CASE IS STILL FUNNY.

- HATE CRIME - THE SHOMRIM COULD'VE BEEN PROSECUTED BETTER IN THE BEATING OF A GAY BLACK MAN, BUT THE NYPD HAS A COZY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE BROOKLYN VIGILANTE GROUP, IN PART THANKS TO DISGRACED PRECINCT COMMANDER, DEPUTY CHIEF JAMES GRANT. 

- STREET JUSTICE IN COURT - CONSTRUCTION WORKERS FIGHT IT OUT WITH SOME DUMB YUPPY COUPLE OVER THEIR STUPID DOG.

WITH SENIOR JEW CORRESPONDENT, NATE FRIDSON

Late at night, Compound Media, we turn on the mics and talk about our lives and a few crimes. 

Big A, Asian Pat Dixon, and John Sireno guest.

All suspects are innocent until proven guilty. 

And there will be more crime in episodes to come.

A BLOODY CORPSE IN CHINATOWN SOAKS THROUGH THE CEILING OF THE SALON DOWNSTAIRS. 

JERRY SEINFELD'S EX-GIRLFRIEND ROBBED OF $1MILLION IN JEWELRY.

A DRUNK NYPD OFFICER GETS BEHIND THE WHEEL AND CRASHES, KILLING A BRIGHT, YOUNG M.I.T. STUDENT, AND TWO OTHER OFFICERS HAVE BEEN FIRED FOR LETTING HIM DRIVE.

GUESTS - OLD FRIENDS TOM RYAN AND EX-EXTERMINATOR LARRY IZZO.

ALL SUSPECTS ARE INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY.

AN EXTREMELY CASUAL, FRANK AND POTENTIALLY OFFENSIVE DISCUSSION OF RACE, CRIME AND THE BLM MOVEMENT. 

TALEEB STARKES (AUTHOR OF PROVOCATIVE BEST SELLERS "THE UNCIVIL WAR" AND "BLACK LIES MATTER") DOESN'T HOLD BACK IN HIS ASSESSMENT OF BOTH BLACK AND WHITE AMERICA DURING THIS INTERVIEW FROM THE SMALLEST ROOM IN NEW YORK CITY. 

IF YOU'RE EASILY OFFENDED BY EMPIRICAL TRUTH, STRONG OPINIONS OR GENERALLY UNPOPULAR SPEECH ABOUT RACE, PLEASE SKIP THIS PODCAST AND JOIN ME NEXT WEEK FOR MORE HILARIOUS TAKES ON ALL THE BEST CRIME NEWS NYC HAS TO OFFER.

WATCH - https://www.compoundmedia.com/show/nyc-crime-report-with-pat-dixon/  

SUPPORT - https://www.patreon.com/PatDixonNYC

Remix of episode 259, Zen's mic cut with a few minutes left on the original episode. thank you.

DISCUSSING SOME FAVORITE STORIES WITH COMEDIAN/WRITER ANTHONY ZENHAUSER 

INCLUDING THE SURGEON ACCUSED OF EJACULATING ON A PATIENT'S FACE, AN OLD MAN KILLS HIMSELF AT THE MALL, A CRAZY SWORD FIGHT IN THE BRONX, A GUY ACCUSED OF TRICKING HIS EX-WIFE INTO SEXUAL CONTACT WITH HER 17-YR-OLD SON AND MUCH MORE.

IT'S ALL TRUE. CRIME IN NYC + JOKES = THIS. 

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO THIS SHOW ON ITUNES

AND WATCH A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT INCARNATION OF NYC CRIME REPORT WITH PAT DIXON AT anthonycumia.com/nyccrimereport

check out crimereport.nyc

July 31 - go to New York Comedy Club for "I Kill You," and I'll see you there.