Self-differentiation is acting in accordance with your goals and values, especially in anxious moments. This episode shows you how, as well as what to do when you don’t.

Show Notes:

Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety 

If You Met My Family, You’d Understand: A Family Systems Primer

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The emotional intensity that comes from being super-serious can turn a challenge into a problem. Likewise, when we react automatically to the anxiety of others, it can make a bad situation worse. This episode digs into why this is the case and what you can do about it.

Show Notes:

Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety 

If You Met My Family, You’d Understand: A Family Systems Primer

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts–Becoming the Person You Want to Be by Marshall Goldsmith

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Recognizing emotional process will not only help you avoid getting stuck, it will enable you to persist through the inevitable sabotage that comes when you are leading change.

Show Notes:

Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety 

If You Met My Family, You’d Understand: A Family Systems Primer

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The key to effective leadership is the ability to remain a non-anxious presence. Understanding triangles, as well as how to manage them, makes this easier.

Show Notes:

Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety 

If You Met My Family, You’d Understand: A Family Systems Primer

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Understanding what Executive Coach Muriel M. Wilkins calls "Blockers" can help you get unstuck in your family, congregation and organization. This episode covers the final four and how to unblock them.

Show Notes:

⁠The Hidden Beliefs That Hold Leaders Back⁠ by Muriel M. Wilkins

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Understanding what Executive Coach Muriel M. Wilkins calls "Blockers" can help you get unstuck in your family, congregation and organization. Here's what they are and how to unblock them.

Show Notes:

The Hidden Beliefs That Hold Leaders Back by Muriel M. Wilkins

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Child focus or the Family Projection Process is one of Murray Bowen's eight concepts of Family Systems Theory. Here are five research backed insights that can help you as a parent and/or a leader.

Show Notes:

Child Focus and the Family Unit: A Comparison of Families with Higher and Lower Child Symptomology by Phillip Klever

Family Projection Process — The Bowen Center for the Study of the Family

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The political, cultural and theological divisions continue to widen. A non-anxious leader understands why AND how to respond.

Show Notes:

The Center for Family Process

Only My Opinion Counts: Myside Bias by Jamie Hale, M.S.

The Bias That Divides Us: The Science and Politics of Myside Thinking by Keith E. Stanovich

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Phillip Klever studied the impact of intergenerational emotional connection on families of origin. Here's what he found and what it means to you.

Show Notes:

Cutoff: The challenge of the parent/child relationship by John Bell, MDiv.

Extended Family Relationships: A Comparison of High and Low Symptom Families by Phillip Klever

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When others anxiously provoke you, one strategy is "don't argue, don't agree." This episode explains "Gray Rocking" and how it can work for you.

Show Notes:

‘Gray rocking’ is a way to deal with difficult people. Here’s how it works. - The Washington Post

Gray Rocking (Definition + Examples) - Practical Psychology

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