This episode covers how Murray Bowen remained a non-anxious presence in his family of origin, after he had purposely raised the anxiety level of those in the interlocking triangles that were keeping it stuck.

Show Notes:

Family Therapy in Clinical Practice* by Murray Bowen

The Differentiated Leader – The Non-Anxious Leader

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In this case study, I'll unpack Murray Bowen's retelling of doing his own family of origin work. It helps understand how interlocking triangles work and how to rework them.

Show Notes:

Family Therapy in Clinical Practice* by Murray Bowen

The Differentiated Leader – The Non-Anxious Leader

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Self-differentiating, taking responsibility for self, can be hard when others respond by defining and blaming you. This is sabotage. Here are three steps to respond effectively.

Show Notes:

Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue
by Edwin Friedman*

A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman*

What IS a Failure of Nerve? – The Non-Anxious Leader

The Differentiated Leader - The Non-Anxious Leader

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Going from a child-adult to adult-adult relationship in your primary triangle is simple but not easy. This episode covers what that looks like.

Show Notes:

Family Therapy in Clinical Practice* by Murray Bowen

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When we are uncomfortable with another, we often avoid dealing directly with that relationship by triangling a third person or issue. Understanding how triangles work and how to deal with them is essential to healthy functioning.

This is the audio of Chapter 4 on Triangles from my book, If You Met My Family, You’d Understand: A Family Systems Primer. You can find all 10 chapters of the book in Episodes 56-65 of this Podcast.

Show Notes:

If You Met My Family, You’d Understand: A Family Systems Primer

What IS a Failure of Nerve? – The Non-Anxious Leader

The Differentiated Leader – The Non-Anxious Leader

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The primary triangle between yourself and your parents/caregivers is the most influential triangle in your life. Here's what that looks like and why.

Show Notes:

Triangles — The Bowen Center for the Study of the Family

Family Projection Process — The Bowen Center for the Study of the Family

What IS a Failure of Nerve? - The Non-Anxious Leader

The Differentiated Leader - The Non-Anxious Leader

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Thinking about your thinking is essential if you want to lead as a non-anxious presence, personally and professionally. Here's what that looks like and how you can do it.

Show Notes:

Differentiation of self and its relationship with metacognitions about worry and anxiety - ScienceDirect (May 2024)

Metacognition - Wikipedia

Positive Intelligence - The Non-Anxious Leader

What IS a Failure of Nerve? - The Non-Anxious Leader

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Chronic emotional patterns are sustained by reactive or adaptive responses. Breaking the cycle requires self-awareness and intentionality to do something different. Here’s how.

Show Notes:

What IS a Failure of Nerve? - Four Week Book Study

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Chronic emotional patterns are sustained by adaptive or reactive feedback. Understanding how this works is the first step toward responding as a non-anxious presence.

Show Notes:

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts–Becoming the Person You Want to Be by Marshall Goldsmith

What IS a Failure of Nerve? - A Four-Week Book Study

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Jon Miller and Drew Keller have identified six ways leaders respond to stress. This episode unpacks this from a family systems perspective so you can grow as a non-anxious leader.

Show Notes:

6 Ways Leaders Harness Stress by Jon Miller and Drew Keller and the PDF version.

Take The Test | Center for Stress Intelligence

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