The Nonsense Burger

The Nonsense Burger

By Francis Osceola & FriendsComedyFictionComedy FictionImprov
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The Nonsense Burger episodes

  • #031: Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls

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    Ohhhh boy!  We've got a spicy one on deck for ya today kiddies!  Please allow me to introduce to the show for the first time....Leigh Settlers!  Who?  Just Francis's dynamite better half.  That's right.  Our first female guest on the Burger is the one who has the good fortune of dealing with this entire pipe dream, and my God does she deliver.  We talk about our choice to fly during the pandemic, slurping your drink and hell; we even talk about where our boogers go when we pick them in the car.  We also cannot fail to mention yet another introduction and that is to Leigh's Lyrical Lettuce; a fun little segment where we recite the lyrics to some of our favorite songs while accompanied by emotional piano music.  You're about to find out why I married this fine specimen while at the same time wondering why she ever said yes to me!  Here we go! 

    28 min
  • #030: Where Do You See Yourself In Five Years?

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    Oh, the fun one can have when navigating the adventure that is the job interview.  Seems as though every employer is looking for that "go-getter"; the one who thrives in a team environment!  And yet after all these years, it seems as though the dreaded interview questions have only gotten more stale.  Where do I see myself in five years?!  It's like the late, great Mitch Hedberg once told us, "Celebrating the five year anniversary of you asking me that question."  Enough with all the charades.  Just cut to the chase and ask us if we're OK being another number on the manufacturing belt that is Corporate America.  Interviews blow; so the Burger's here to have some fun on the subject!  Joe Joe Oko is back to hand out a few fun niblets of what it's like combing through resumes and conducting those fun little back-and-forth verbal corn mazes.  Hope you've got your cover letters handy!  This week's gonna be a riot.  Love you all like a peach cobbler hot outta the oven!  Let's laugh.

    50 min
  • #029: Walkin' the Plank

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    Hope all you Fine Folks RRRRRRRR ready for some pirate puns!  Full disclosure; we went into today's show with one particular mindset and ended up diverting into a deep blue sea of Nonsense!  Joe Oko and Francis get all sorts of wrapped up in buried treasure, assembling a present-day pirate ship complete with crew, and we even formulate a plan for our first raid once we've put all the pieces together.  This episode turned into one swashbuckling good time!  So polish up that old peg leg, swab the decks, and let's set sail on a fantastically absurd journey of delight!  

    28 min
  • #028: All Dogs Go to Heaven

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    Bow wow wow yippy yo yippy yay!  Today is an homage to our furry four-legged friends and more often than not, their garbage owners.  Earl graces us with his presence to complete the Nonsensical Pair!  Care to guess what we dive into when referencing man's best friend?  Why guess when you can just as easily hop on in and enjoy the silly!  We're tackling shitty owners, potentially terrible dog names, and we even list some of our favorite dog movies of all time!  Somehow we manage to touch on the tiny list of bad dog movies, too.  Spoiler alert!  One of Earl's favorite movies is one Francis wished was never created.  So Knick-knack paddywhack then give a dog a bone!  Make sure you're stocked up on peanut butter folks; we're licking that jar clean in Episode 28.  Love you!

    46 min
  • #027: The Punisher

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    Ahoy hoy!!  Watch out for the second episode of the week - she's rolling into the station full steam ahead!  Michael returns to wrap up our discussion on how one might punish their child from both a parent's perspective and someone who wouldn't know the first thing about how to successfully raise a kid.  Today's scenarios involve the abuse of electronics, breaking precious heirlooms, malevolently waking you from a dead sleep, and a few more!  You've got to hear it to believe it!  Now sneak on in here you funny flamingos and have a ball!  After you've finished, rifle through our ever-expanding catalog of episodes at iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, and so much more!  Toodles.

    32 min
  • #026: Washing Our Mouths Out with Soap

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    Greetings Folks!  Michael Washington's back to fill the entire week's slate of Nonsensical goodness!  Fun fact:  Michael's a father of three.  Another fun fact:  Francis is a father of none.  These two facts combined spur Michael to wonder what Francis might do to punish a child for an assortment of wrongdoings.  Not only does hilarity ensue, but Mr. Washington takes it upon himself to distribute glistening pearls of wisdom for all the Fine mom's and dad's out there taking grenades in the foxhole that is parenting.  Today's show covers five incidents where a child has already been punished, yet feels the need to retaliate.  How does a man with entirely zero parenting experience respond?  Guess you'll have to tune in to find out!  And that tuning in can be done at iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, any podcast app currently functioning, and don't forget the website!  www.thenonsenseburger.com  

    42 min
  • #025: Move Over Butter!!

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    Guess who's back; back again?!  The Nonsense Burger's back!  Tell your friends!  Truly and deliberately tell your friends.  Spread the good word!  We're now officially a quarter of the way to 100 episodes!  We're not even sure if that's a relevant milestone but let's go with it.  Today we welcome back our good buddy Michael Washington who introduces us to his newly minted segment, "What did Francis say in my head?"  Needless to say, we have a ball.  Besides that, we decide to tackle a short list of some of the worst inventions/products ever put into existence.  Water beds, off-brand margarine, WOW! potato chips, and just a few more.  We were giggling through it all so how's about you join in and giggle right alongside us!  XOXO

    49 min
  • #024: My Bologna Has a First Name

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    Hur mår du Folks?!  Swedish for "How are you?"  The Burger's going global!  Care to know what else we're up to?  Well, today Joe Oko and Francis Osceola decided to rub some relieving cream across the globe and make you all feel a teeny bit better by sharing some of our most embarrassing stories.  We implore you to laugh at our expense today and use some of the jollies to spread around.  Let's turn this snowball of silliness into an avalanche of fun for all!  It's time for humor to take the reigns on this second day of June.  We also divulge our Top 5 most attractive female actresses over the age of 50, because Joe wanted to.  It's kooky as always here at the Nonsense Burger!  Come laugh with us, then support the show by rating, reviewing, and subscribing!  We're all over the place, including Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, etc.  We even found a way to build a website!  Visit www.thenonsenseburger.com for even more fun little treats.  Later gators!

    46 min
  • #023: Clam-A-Lam-A-Ding-Dong

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    Wowsers!  Joe Oko stops by the Burger for yet another unforgettable episode and we couldn't be happier....or more appalled.  Oko's lighting things up like only he knows how.  Care to know HOW that secret sauce is made?  Well, get on in here!  Now we adore all you Fine Folks so much we'll toss out a breadcrumb trail that leads directly to an enormous pile of bananas.  That pile of bananas comes in the form of a debate on how many little people it would take to bring you down.  And after that, Joe gets curious about sexting and he wants to discuss it, so we do.  From there we realize we've gotten so deep in conversation that we'll just have to carry this ticklish back and forth to our 24th episode!  Groovy!  Stick around for the quality ingredients people.  'Til next time!

    25 min
  • #022: Explain Yourself

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    Hey All!  What ails you on this fine spring day?  Oh, that's right; post-holiday jitters.  Find yourselves caught in the Swamps of Sadness?  Well, fear not!  Unlike Atreyu's failure with his beloved horse Artax, we'll pull you from the muck.  How's about a fresh new show from your adorable crowd of Nonsensical jesters?!  Timmy Noffke's BACK and my goodness do we have a juicy episode for all the Fine Folks today!  Curious yet?  Here are a few hints:  We're working on a memorial volleyball tournament held in Wilfred Brimley's honor with a few notable celebrities.  Who, you ask?  Let's start with Cruise, Kilmer, Hanks, Favre, and Montana.  After we laid the foundation for that gem of an idea we got into Francis's extracurricular courses during his college years.  Subjects that tested the limits of the mind.  For instance; sailing, racquetball, and sign language (which he failed).  So how's about you let the Burger turn those frowns upside down and get back to giggling?!  This one's a doozy.  Love you ornately decorative snowshoes.  Find us on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google, etc.  Or browse www.thenonsenseburger.com for even more fun!

    58 min

About The Nonsense Burger

From the publisher's feed

Welcome to The Nonsense Burger folks!  Where humor is the meat, the buns consist of comedy, and we sprinkle sesame seeds of whimsy all over that junk!  And much like the many ways one can…