The Nurturing Parent: Respectful Parenting, Gentle Parenting, Toddler Behavior, Big Feelings, Regulate Emotions

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VALENTINE’S DAY IS COMING!

Get ready for valentines day, or heart day, with these activities. Can be given as a gift to mommy, daddy, sibling, or friend.

This weekend we have a love song, cute heart crafts, and a lovely book to share with you!

SONG
SINNAMARINK 

ACTIVITY
HEART-SHAPED LOVE COLOURS COLLAGE

For this art activity you will need:
-Heart shaped doilies - OR cut out large hearts our of coloured construction paper OR both!
-Glue stick/glitter glue
-Kids scissors 

Suggestions for a Selection of fun bits to glue in REDS, PINKS, PURPLES & WHITE: 

• Coloured pencils, crayons, felt pens
• various types of paper in these colours cut into tiny bits, random shapes are fine 
• Various sizes of hearts cut out of different coloured paper 
• Scraps of yarn, coloured string, ribbons
• Confetti <3. Sparkles - can create hole punch confetti! 

BOOK
A TOUCH, A KISS AND A HOLD Written By Linda K Leavitt

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Original music ©Lisa K Sigurgeirson 1986

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Hey Mama!

Parents fighting in front or even “behind closed doors” is so normal. It is hard adjusting to the parent life and figuring out how to work as a team to balance out all the tasks. Or maybe there are some other issues you are dealing with but we want you to know you are not alone.

We also want to remind you that our little ones are sponges and are absorbing everything so if we can learn how to manage our emotions and effectively communicate we will be modeling important tools for our kids to learn.

In this episode we will discuss
1. How fighting in front or behind close doors is harmful to our littles
2. The two different kinds of conflicts( constructive vs. destructive)
3. What can we do to aim for constructive conflict

You’d be surprised to know that we WANT to model conflict because it is normal but we will show you the healthy ways to do this.

Here are some of the many effects destructive conflict has on our kids 
-decreased self-esteem
-increased anxiety/anger
-behavioral problems
-emotionally reactive in all relationships
-increase in cortisol which causes inflammation and increased illnesses
-decrease in focus/learning difficulties

We didn’t realize parenting starts with healing ourselves. But now that we know better we can do better. So we encourage you to put these constructive forms of conflict into practice at home so that our kids don’t have to heal like we do.

Book mentioned
A Touch, A Kiss And A Hold  Written By Linda K. Leavitt

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Original music ©Lisa K Sigurgeirson 1986

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If you can bring upbeat energy and make a game out of it, hopefully these things will help make car rides be a little more enjoyable!

We know it can be frustrating. Remember to make sure you give your children enough time to mentally prepare, pack some snacks, bring toys/books.

SONG
TAKE YOU RIDING IN THE CAR (CAR SONG) BY WOODY GUTHRIE

BOOK
ALL BUCKLED UP by Andrea Zimmerman, Illustrated by David Clemesha

ACTIVITY
MAKE A BOX CAR! 

Things you’ll need: 

• A box large enough for your toddler/preschooler to sit in 
• scissors/serrated knife 
• Paper fasteners
• Imagination! Create a steering wheel and gas, oil, and temperature gauges and attach the dials on the gauges with paper fasteners and the steering wheel to the body of the car with fasteners, too. SO fun! 

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Original music ©Lisa K Sigurgeirson 1986

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Let me start by saying you are not alone mama! Also, it is entirely normal. 

Imagine someone stuffing you into a little seat and then restraining you with these straps! It can be pretty frustrating for our little ones. So we wanted to share some ways to help our little ones adjust to this transition a little more smoothly. 

Here is a reminder, our toddlers are learning that they are separate from us so they will fight and say no and want more control over their own autonomy. We can help them by giving them choices and feeling like they have more control over their own situation. 

They are also not living a busy hectic life like we are so it is not fair to rush them. We can ease some of this tension just by merely preparing them with time. That means we need to be conscious of the time and allow them to transition.  

Some things they can do on their own are:
1. grab a snack and drink they'd like to take on the ride (as long as it is safe)
2. decide what jacket or what they want to put on first
3. bring a toy or book (better yet have them in there already so that they know they can always play in the car)
4. allow them to strap themselves in or climb into their seat

REMEMBER RUSHING WILL NOT HELP (ALLOW TIME FOR A SMOOTH TRANSITION)

And our favorite change a mood, not a mind! We have some fun ways you can do that in this Family Fun Fridays episode that's coming up!

STAY TUNED! 

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Original music ©Lisa K Sigurgeirson 1986

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When you need to get things done, bring in the music! Especially an interactive song like the one we share today!

This will encourage cooperation, bring up the mood, and allow both sides to be playful.

**As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases**

Please consider purchasing through the links below to help support the nurturing parent podcast!

SONG
The More We Get Together

BOOK
 The Run Away Bunny Written By Margaret Wise Brown

Activity
Make a fort!
-My Favorite Fort Building Kit

Have fun families!

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Original music ©Lisa K Sigurgeirson 1986

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If you think of your relationship with your child (and every other relationship in your life!) as a co-created Dance - the dance of communication - the exciting news is that if you want things to go a different way you can change your steps and create a new dance!

Listening & Cooperation are interlinked. 

LISTENING:

• Listen quietly and attentively. Give your undivided attention. 

“Mama, I want you to listen with the eyes in front of your head!” 

• Gain attention with a gentle touch before attempting communication. 

Teach your children this technique to get someone’s attention, too!

• The fewer words the better!

“Whenever possible, use a sentence instead of a paragraph, a word instead of a sentence…”   ~ Dr Haim Ginott, Between Parent and Child

• Observe your tone of voice. Our children respond to the emotions first, the words we say seep in later. 
• Say it once! Repeating ourselves is one of our parts of the not-working-so-well dance of communication with our littles. Listen in to see what to do instead! (Clue: it’s all right here ^^) 

COOPERATION:  

• Creating daily routines can encourage your child’s cooperation. Children feel safe when their world is predictable. Some examples of how to create routines and charts to follow. 
• Use a timer! The timer is then “the boss,” not you, the (getting frustrated and nagging) parent!
• An interesting convo about asking our children to say please and thank you. 

How do they get their chores done when the kids are in front of screens?

• Set parameters for screen /device time.
• Chores first!
• Some ideas of how to intervene into screen time with positive outcomes: 

Move in and get involved in their world for a few moments before shifting into finishing screen time. It only takes a few minutes and can buy you time in the long run! 

If they’re resistant, look at the basics - tired, hungry, overstimulated? 

Be realistic about expectations.                                                                    

Sometimes life is SO fast, with so much to do, patience is our friend! 

• Pre-paving, setting the stage for what comes next, can result in much less resistance.
• Engage our children in age and stage-appropriate family-friendly jobs - hanging their own coats and towels up; putting their boots where boots go; helping clean up their spills… 
• Life happens TO our children. Our lives are SO busy. 

Giving our littles some choices in what happens next in their world can help them feel empowered and like a worthy part of the family.

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Original music ©Lisa K Sigurgeirson 1986

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Do you ever want to interact with your littles but don't really know how?

This happens to me sometimes as a mother, I see my daughter there playing but I want to interact and play with her while also having her attention on me so we can bond now that she is getting older. This is why I love it when we learn new interactive songs like  the one amma teaches us today. I can do it with my infant and toddler!

We get to sing and laugh together. It fills my cup as well as theirs. 

We also have a fun inclusive book, Amma loves it because it depicts a character in a wheelchair just like amma! Just like amma, our littles like to see characters like them!
 
**As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases**

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SONG
The Elevator Song

BOOK
Going Up! Written By Sherry J. Lee, Illustrated By Charlene Chua

Activity
Imaginary play with an elevator

What you Need:
Cardboard Box
Rectangular piece of cardboard (to create elevator button pad)
Markers (draw buttons and floor numbers)
Scissors (if you want to cut out and glue "buttons" on the elevator)

Other Interactive Song Episodes
-FAMILY FUN FRIDAYS: GET THE WIGGLES OUT OF YOUR LITTLES WITH THESE ACTIVITIES THIS WEEKEND | A Smooth Rode to London Town
-FAMILY FUN FRIDAYS: GET READY FOR THIS WINTER SEASON WITH FUN FINGER SONGS, PULLING STRING ART, AND STORYTIME | Where is Thumbkin

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Original music ©Lisa K Sigurgeirson 1986

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Following last week's episode "NO SUCH THING AS 'BAD KIDS'" we wanted to have a discussion about how we can set our littles up for success and allow them to be curious and explore safely!

What you will get out of today's episode
1. Why do you need to baby-proof your home?
2. The 3 reasons your child will benefit
3. How to baby-proof your home

We want to encourage our kids to explore without knocking their confidence and that starts by setting up their environment to allow them to explore freely. By doing this we help boost their confidence, expand their knowledge and understanding of cause and effect, allow them to crawl/walk/run freely encouraging movement, and give ourselves some peace of mind knowing our kids are safe!

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Original music ©Lisa K Sigurgeirson 1986

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Do you feel that during these colder months your child is constantly bouncing off the walls?

This may be due to the fact that they are stuck inside the house more often and aren't getting as much movement in during the day.

We can encourage to get those wiggles out with the activities we share with you this week!

This song is a fun way to get in some bonding time and connect emotionally and physically. This will encourage some laughs between you and will give your child some memories with you singing to them.

Song

-A Smooth Rode to London Town
-Some similar interactive songs: This Is The Way The Ladies Ride & Trot Trot to Boston

Activity
Driving cars through paint and making tracks

-cars
-washable paint
-cookie tray
-roll of paper

You can also use clean up time to keep your kids entertained a while longer with taking the cars to the car wash! Let them have some soapy fun while they clean up the paint and their toys.

These activities can be very therapeutic for your kids as well which will help them maanage their emotions.

Reminder
We want to remind you about the importance of our kids getting in some motor activities. They need to move and get the energy out so if you can't get outside, amma shares an exciting out of the box activity. Make race car tracks around the house with painters tape! Let your kids drive up along the couches and on the side of the walls around the living room and into the kitchen! Get creativity and most importantly have fun!

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Original music ©Lisa K Sigurgeirson 1986

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Do you feel like your kid can be so bad? Do you get frustrated and tell them what a bad little boy they are for not listening? 

You will easily learn through parenting that you cannot control everything! And sometimes that will make us look at our kids like they are bad people because they can be so difficult but we want to let you know that it is normal. You did not just get a bad apple, but it is in the process of learning and developing. 

In this weeks conversation we want to help you understand
1.  Why toddlers act out
2. Misbehvaior can be a form of communication
3. Misbehavior is normal and leanring how to support them through their development
4. How to use nurturing parent ways to curb their behavior

Defiance, agression, and impulsivity come from immaturity in the pre-frontal cortex. This is why our littles are driven by emotion. The lack of development creates a lack of control and understanding. 

This part of the brain begins to develop around the age of 3-4 years old when you will begin to see abilty to reason, more impulse control, understadning of good vs. bad, and reason to consequences. 

Acting out is also sometimes a form of communication for toddlers. They do not have the ability to understand or express to us their feelings of hunger, tiredness, uncomfort and this will come out in unwanted behaviors. 

We can support our littles through this stage by providing them with firm and consistent boundaries. If we treat them like this is normal and provide them with boundaries we will allow for healthy growth and development. 

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Original music ©Lisa K Sigurgeirson 1986