The Mexican Navy is looking for a new navigator after somebody over there tried to drive their one hundred fifty-foot-tall boat underneath the one hundred thirty-foot tall Brooklyn Bridge.  Not a good look!  Pealed the top right off right in front of where congressman lady Sandy Cortez stays, and supposedly gets her laundry done.  Hear what came next with Otis.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

You know that trick where you turn your socks inside out to get another couple of days out of them?  Well, that’s what the donkey party bosses have in mind for Kamala.  Just turn the lady in the pant suit inside out for another go at the controls, and do it fast before Sandy Cortez de Putanasa gets it all.  But what's the difference?  Aren’t you tired of complaining yet?  I know I am.  Imagine how much more we could get done around here if everybody put down the dopey little signs and walking around out in the yard saving democracy.  Isn’t that getting old yet?  It’s so last year.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

What Do Men Really Want, aside from the usual stuff like getting to wipe your nose on your sleeve or maybe a good stool softener.  Men are simple organisms who still think they can play Wipe Out on the steering wheel.  But know other stuff too like what a woman is.  Hell, men are experts in that.  They know today’s modern girl isn’t looking for any fluff.  Fang Fang isn’t up all-night waiting for that box of Christmas pajamas with the bunny feet and tail.  It comes down to one thing: “What would Roy Rogers do?” That’s how you know if you’re thinking right.  If Roy would do it – then you can do it.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

If you've been getting your powdered Margarita mix from China, I think I'd be making other arrangements. Orange man has changed all this so we don’t forget how to make our own essential fixins.  We shouldn't have to rely on China for medicine, memory foam and dead flashlights.  “But, Oh Uncle Otis, everything’s gone global now!”  Well not everything – mudpies is still a local thing - good clean fun that comes right out of the back yard for free.  Mud pies exist for one reason: to give you something to play with until mama gets home.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

If you’re even thinking about stuffing a T-bone down your shorts at the Walmart think again. Due to shrinkage (used to be called stealing but that was too real) they’re now keeping the steaks in little wire cages to keep your grubby mitts from stuffing Mr. Roast down your pants and heading for the parking lot.  If you’re keeping score, this all started with locking up the deodorant and toothpaste - now it’s on to the Veal of Fortune.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

It all makes sense when you think of Kamala as the dented can on the store shelf.  Poor little dented can, it’s sad that nobody wants it anymore being all smushed and caved in.  Pushed aside for the shiny new can, the one with the fresh AOC label, except that one’s about to be banned for all the fake coloring in it.  Of course, there is one color you don’t have to worry about.  Right, it’s Orange!  Nothing phony - Orange is different, and it won’t make you sick.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

Kamala is about to open the doors to her new Think Tank!  “We’ll think about anything for a price,” giggled Kamala.  It’s like the self-licking ice cream cone of bad ideas, but there it is anyway.  Tanks Alot Kamala is mostly particle board and sounds like a cry for help that no one hears.  It even has its own flush handle built right into the tank for when things get messy.  Let’s check the ingredients: “May contain bull-corn.  Has no wow factor. Could cause white winter itch."  So what can you expect to find floating around over here?  Too soon to know, but in this race to the bottom, Kamala is definitely winning!    Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

Otis gets a lot of prison mail. But when the weather’s nice, he likes to walk around the neighborhood to see what everybody else got in the mail. You can learn a lot about your neighbors by going through their mail. Take this nice lady for example.  Dear Ms. Jones, Oh look, it’s from the free clinic.  It was fun seeing you again this week - red and irritated - well that’s not going to clear up.  Oh here’s a birthday card from somebody named Boom Boom Willie.  Probably met down at the community pool.  Here's someone being notified about getting yard of the month.  It’s about time.  All they had to do was take down that Trump yard sign and look at that – yard of the month it is!   Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

Congressman-lady Jasmine Crockett really likes being the only botanical in government.  But don’t be fooled by all the flowery words. Jasmine knows nothing pays off faster than class clown when you need to get noticed, before that AOC gets it all.  Remember the circus business is nothing new for Jasmine!  Throw in a pair of hoop earrings and a couple of media stink bombs and you’ll get ‘em talking.  Then just sit back and let the cameras do all the work.  This shake down isn’t going to stop anytime soon.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

Everybody knows, crawfish are not fish.  Never have been.  Try putting crawfish in the microwave and you’ll see what I mean.  The stuff in there runs out all over the place, gets all over the floor and everything.  Meat doesn’t do that.  You can do better.  Look, a million flies can’t be wrong.  Even Greenland doesn’t allow crawfish, wonder why?  Ask the medical examiner.  They know crawfish are like sticker burs.   You’re not dealing with a bag of frozen peas here. Crawfish are pre-historic, and you’re not. So look somewhere else for something to eat.  Hell, even Kamala won’t eat crawfish - she’ll wolf down a bag of pork rinds but won’t get down in the mud for a plate of these.  Good call but maybe don’t wear that crawfish costume in the parade next time, just saying. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands