The Path To Peace Therapy Podcast with Stephanie Buckley
In today's episode, Stephanie Buckley an AMFT Soltution Focued Parenting Strategist, Family Systems Coach, and sports-psychology-informed ADHD specialist breaks down one of the most misunderstood patterns in family systems: parentification, the moment a child steps into emotional or practical roles meant for adults.
Parentification is common in families navigating ADHD, anxiety, OCD, depression, or inconsistent parenting. It often develops quietly, without intention, but it fundamentally reshapes childhood, identity, and sibling relationships. Stephanie explains how children become the "responsible one," the emotional anchor, or the family stabilizer and how these roles follow them into adulthood as overfunctioning, perfectionism, guilt, and hyper-responsibility.
You'll learn how parentification emerges, why it is intensified in ADHD households, and how to identify the signs early. Stephanie also explores the emotional cost on non-ADHD siblings, who often become quiet caretakers, high achievers, and self-suppressors, as well as the long-term effect on sibling dynamics, where roles begin to replace genuine relationship.
If your child is struggling with emotional overload, takes on too much, or seems "too mature too soon," this episode will give you the clarity and tools to break the cycle and restore balance.
What You'll Learn in This Episode
• What parentification is and why it forms in overwhelmed family systems.
• The difference between instrumental parentification (task-based responsibility) and emotional parentification (carrying adult emotions).
• How ADHD in parents or children amplifies the likelihood of parentification.
• Why parentified children often become people-pleasers, overfunctioners, or emotional fixers in adulthood.
• Signs your child may already be carrying emotional labor they shouldn't be.
• How parentification impacts non-ADHD siblings, causing them to become the "easy child," the compensator, or the emotional suppressor.
• How sibling dynamics shift into roles of stabilizer and identified patient and how this affects connection long-term.
• Practical ways to restore balance so children can return to their rightful developmental roles.
• What parents can say and do to release the emotional load from their children and reclaim leadership in the home.
This episode is essential for:
• Parents raising children with ADHD, OCD, anxiety, or emotional dysregulation
• Families experiencing chronic conflict, overwhelm, or uneven roles
• Parents noticing one child becoming "the helper," "the calm one," or "the mature one"
• Adults who grew up feeling responsible for everyone else
• Therapists, coaches, or educators wanting clearer language for family systems patterns
• Young adults exploring their own family dynamics and self-understanding
Key Takeaway
Parentification doesn't happen because parents are bad it happens because parents are overwhelmed. But with awareness, clarity, and intentional leadership, families can reorganize in ways that allow every child to reclaim childhood, restore identity, and build healthier relationships moving forward.
Resources + Connect
For more tools, resources, and parent coaching support, visit:
ThePathToPeaceTherapy.com
Connect with Stephanie on Instagram:
@ThePathToPeaceTherapy
Share this episode with a parent, therapist, or young adult who needs clarity on this powerful family-systems dynamic.
If this episode helped you understand your family system more deeply, please rate and review the podcast. Your support helps other families find the tools they need. And remember small shifts lead to big change.