The Paula Faris Show

John and I are back to answer your questions, which ranged from how we got through our tough times to why we moved from NYC to small-town South Carolina and how we disagree in a healthy way. 

As always, we’re talking about the things YOU want to talk about. 

Listen in to learn more: 

(00:00) Navigating Family Disagreements and Life Transitions

(11:05) Handling Marriage Challenges and Building Unity

(19:37) Our Love Story

SUMMARY:

In this episode, we are digging into how we made the move from NYC to South Carolina, how we have gotten through the tough times in our marriage, what to do when you disagree with your partner about how to run your family, and some fun things like dream vacations and favorite date nights. 

LINKS: 

SAVOR SUMMER FREE GUIDE -https://carrymedia.com/savor-summer/ 

ARMRA– 30% off with CODE: PAULAFARIS -https://glnk.io/8lv0j/paulafaris 

Paula’s shirt - https://amzn.to/3KDeNgR

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

John is always surprised by how many questions we get when we do these ask us anything episodes. And not just that, they’re almost always our most popular episodes!  So much so, that we are doing a two-parter! 

Today, we’re answering your questions about toxic work environments, whether we’re done having kids, our best life advice for our kids and what is SAVING US THIS SUMMER as our children are out of school and we’re working from home. 

As always, we’re talking about the things YOU want to talk about.

Life Happens, friends! Let’s Talk About It! 

Listen in to learn more: 

(00:00) Summer Survival Guide for Parents

(11:17) Navigating Relationships and Parenting Advice

(18:59) Toxic Work Environments and Family Judgement

(26:43) Navigating Family Relationships

In this episode, we are diving into a resource that is saving our summer as work from home parents (it’s free and can save yours, too!), what we want to tell our kids as they leave the nest in just a few short years, when to leave a toxic work environment, what to do when you disagree with family about how you’re raising your kids, and how we really feel about NYC.

LINKS:

SAVOR SUMMER FREE GUIDE -https://carrymedia.com/savor-summer/ 

ARMRA– 30% off with CODE: PAULAFARIS -https://glnk.io/8lv0j/paulafaris 

Paula’s shirt - https://amzn.to/3KDeNgR

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This was such a fun conversation catching up with Olympic Gymnast Shawn Johnson and her husband, Andrew East, as we talked about The Olympics, life with littles, and youth sports. 

Because the Olympics start NEXT MONTH, we had to park there for a bit and Shawn shared something about the Olympics and the athletes that truly shocked not just me, but Andrew, as well. 

It’s so much fun for me to talk to parents with littles, and wow, are they in the thick of it, with THREE kids under the age of 4? I can’t wait for you to hear what’s saving them in this season, how they’re supporting Olympic athletes who are parents, and their really unique take on youth sports. 

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About it!

Listen in to learn more: 

(00:00) - Life With Littles and Olympics

(13:19) - Parenting Perspectives on Gender Differences

(17:53) - Importance of Kids Sports Participation

(23:13) - Parenting, Youth Sports, and Relationship Dynamics

(37:12) - Challenges in Supporting Families

(42:45) - Olympics Excitement and Parenting Advice

SUMMARY

In this episode, we are digging into the ins and outs of parenting little kids of both genders, preventing burnout and encouraging our kids in sports, how proactive counseling has been beneficial as individuals and as a couple, and the heart behind Shawn and Andrew’s launch of the Moment Makers childcare initiative. 

LINKS:

LAST MINUTE FATHER’s Day gift ideas:

CHARCOAL steak rub 

ARMRA– 30% off with CODE: PAULAFARIS

Shawn ON IG

Andrew on IG 

SIGNUP  FOR PAULA’S NEWSLETTER

https://www.paulafarisofficial.com/newsletter 

FOLLOW PAULA ON INSTAGRAM  

https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en

LINK TO CARRY’S NEWSLETTER 

https://carrymedia.com/the-carry-all/

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It’s the most vulnerable John and I have ever been about our 25+ year relationship, as we talk about the tensions we’ve navigated in our marriage and how we’ve fumbled our way to being equal partners, at home and at work. 

The journey to true partnership hasn’t been easy and, at times, has been clumsier than clean. 

In this conversation, you’ll hear about the scary and supportive decision John made for me early on and how we’ve figured out a way to share the load at home, which has been our BIGGEST source of tension. (That reminds me, who is cooking dinner tonight??) 

If you didn’t love John already, you’re going to love hearing his heart and journey of how he’s been a true partner in every aspect. 

Plus, we discuss some of those antiquated phrases like “stay at home” and “breadwinner”, that just need to go…

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It!

RESOURCES:

Listen in to learn more: 

(00:00) Equal Partnership in Work and Life

(04:09) Gender Roles and Partner Support

(14:52) Navigating Career Changes and Sacrifices

(26:18) Household Partnership and Communication

(32:59) Living With Three Kids and Olympics

SUMMARY

In this episode, we are delving into the importance of having a partner who is your biggest cheerleader, the disservice we do to both men and women when we box each other into specific roles, why the 1950s dynamic many of us have romanticized may not be as ideal as we thought, and a method for sharing the tasks of the home that has been a lifesaver for John and I.

LINKS:

The shirt I’m wearing is SOLD OUT but here is a similar option - https://amzn.to/4aOHD8K

WIN THE FAIRPLAY BUNDLE AND SIGN UP FOR PAULA’S NEWSLETTER

https://www.paulafarisofficial.com/newsletter 

FOLLOW PAULA ON INSTAGRAM  

https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en

LINK TO CARRY’S NEWSLETTER 

https://carrymedia.com/the-carry-all/

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Therapist David Thomas is back, answering all your questions about TWEEN and TEEN boys!

Your questions ranged from gaming, discipline, ragey hormones, and phone use to porn, substance use, and body image. Phew! We covered so much. 

David, the host of the Raising Boys and Girls podcast and the Executive Director of Daystar Counseling, will help you navigate these years and give you SO MUCH HOPE.

Share with anyone who could use some insight into tween and teen boys. They’re precious but so misunderstood. 

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It. 

Listen in to learn more:

(10:42 - 11:32) Consequences of Phone Misuse

(18:25 - 19:50) Supporting Boys Through Peer Pressure

(29:51 - 30:51) Addressing Pornography and Male-Female Relationships

In this episode, we are diving into healthy boundaries on gaming and technology, why helping our kids regulate is the first step of discipline, consequences that make sense (besides just taking away screens!), body image conversations with our boys, and helping our sons navigate through instead of numbing out when things get tough.

Resources:

CONNECT WITH DAVID: 

https://www.daystarcounseling.com/ 

FOLLOW DAVID/DAYSTAR ON INSTAGRAM:

https://www.instagram.com/raisingboysandgirls/

DAVID’S BOOK RAISING EMOTIONALLY STRONG BOYS:

https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Emotionally-Strong-Boys-Tools/dp/0764239988

DAVID'S PODCAST - https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/podcast 

Here’s a great phone contract to sign with your kids from WAIT UNTIL 8th.  

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/58938b9fbebafb25099e8c5b/t/654cfadfc2beb7065a3dbb16/1699543775246/Wait+Until+8th+Family+Phone+Plan.pdf 

LINK TO PAULA’S NEWSLETTER

https://www.paulafarisofficial.com/newsletter 

FOLLOW PAULA ON INSTAGRAM  

https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en

LINK TO CARRY’S NEWSLETTER 

https://carrymedia.com/the-carry-all/

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To be honest, I’ve had a difficult time connecting with my boys. At times, I’ve wondered, and you may have, too, “Is anything connecting?” On top of that, my teen son recently told me that I don’t understand him. I know so many of you are right there, too. That’s why we’re talking about it. 

David Thomas, the Executive Director of Daystar Counseling is joining the conversation to  help us make sense of tween and teen boys. (I have cried tears of joy and relief since talking with him!) 

This is the first of two episodes in which we’ll discuss what’s happening in the boy brain, their different stages of development, how we can best support them, and why we need to extend their runway to age 25. 

David also hilariously explains what happens to their collective IQ when a group of adolescent boys gets together and why they only seem to open up at night. (It’s a thing!)

This conversation is setting up next week’s episode, in which we will answer all your questions about tween and teen boys in an insightful Q&A with David. 

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It. 

Listen in to learn more:

(00:00 - 00:26) Developmental Differences in Adolescence

(01:32 - 03:15) Understanding Tween and Teen Boys

(09:23 - 10:59) Parenting Through Adolescent Development

(14:20 - 15:25) Understanding Adolescents Through the Enneagram

(19:15 - 20:20) Boys, Pornography, and Parental Supervision

(21:29 - 22:28) Stages of Adolescent Development

(28:51 - 30:16) Navigating Motherhood With Steadiness and Support

SUMMARY:

In this episode, we discuss how to communicate with tween and teen boys in a nonthreatening way, the developmental differences between boys and girls, how we can best support and nurture our boys' unique wiring, why ages 13-15 are so tough for teen boys and their parents and hope for the future of our relationships with our sons. 

LINKS:

CONNECT WITH DAVID: 

https://www.daystarcounseling.com/

FOLLOW DAVID/DAYSTAR ON INSTAGRAM:

https://www.instagram.com/raisingboysandgirls/

DAVID’S BOOK WILD THINGS:

https://www.amazon.com/Wild-Things-Art-Nurturing-Boys/dp/1414322275

LINK TO PAULA’S NEWSLETTER

https://www.paulafarisofficial.com/newsletter

FOLLOW PAULA ON INSTAGRAM  

https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en

LINK TO CARRY’S NEWSLETTER 

https://carrymedia.com/the-carry-all/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One of the scariest, yet best things our family did was moving from NYC to a small town in South Carolina in 2020. Has there been a lot of GAIN in our life because of it? Absolutely. But, there’s also been a lot of things we’ve GIVEN UP because of it. 

We’ve created a life we love and my guest today, Stephanie May Wilson, is going to take us through three steps to help you create a life you love, as well. She’s even written a new best-selling book about it! 

Stephanie is doing just that in her own life, moving her young family to Spain (wait until you hear why!) to create a life they love. It’s a decision that’s both scary and exhilarating. 

How often do we get ourselves twisted up making a decision we think will please someone else, or living another life that’s not authentic to us?

Stephanie has four words for all of us: YOU GET TO DECIDE. 

Friends, we get to decide. Yes, there will be gain, as well as giving up. But, we get to decide. 

Listen in to learn more: 

(6:04 -9:37) Childcare Costs and Women in the Workforce

(9:38 - 12:46) Defining Life Moments Before Age 35

(13:21 - 14:34) Pressure of Turning 30 (or 40, 0r 50)

(16:56 - 17:49) You Get to Decide

(17:50 - 19:23) Three Things To Quiet the Noise and Find Out What You Want Out of Life

(21:23 - 22:51) When Our Choices are Limited by Circumstances

SUMMARY:

In this episode, we are delving into the pressures of building a career and a family at the same time, the power of making decisions (even when our choices are limited by our circumstances), 3 things you can do to quiet the noise and figure out what you want out of life, and the hard reality that even the best choices will come with sacrifice. 

LINKS: 

LINK TO STEPHANIE’S WEBSITE:

https://stephaniemaywilson.com/

LINK TO STEPHANIE’S BOOK:

https://www.amazon.com/Create-Life-You-Love-Outside-ebook/dp/B0CCV1RMLV

LINK TO STEPHANIE’S PODCAST:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/girls-night-with-stephanie-may-wilson/id1278993781

LINK TO PAULA’S NEWSLETTER

https://www.paulafarisofficial.com/newsletter

FOLLOW PAULA ON INSTAGRAM  

https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en

LINK TO CARRY’S NEWSLETTER 

https://carrymedia.com/the-carry-all/

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We’re answering your questions about teen drinking and substance abuse because it’s a topic that you’re asking us to talk about and a topic that is causing a lot of tension in your homes. 

I remember taking my first drink when I was five. My dad gave me a sip of his beer, and I loved it but never abused it growing up. Conversely, John distanced himself from alcohol until he was in his 20s because of an alcoholic grandfather. So, out of the gate, we’re approaching this subject from different perspectives.

Because we wanted to stick to the facts and the hard questions on this topic, we’ve invited Jessica Lahey, an author and expert on it, to the conversation. She’s a recovering alcoholic and has been researching and writing about it for over a decade. 

We’re going to tackle all your questions: Should you give your teens a safe space to drink? What is it doing to their brains? What are the real numbers? And we’re going to bust some myths about it in the process. 

Life happens, friends. Let’s talk about it. 

Listen in to learn more : 

(00:40 - 01:39) Mother's Day Gift Planning With Paula

(05:33 - 07:21) Parenting and Substance Abuse Prevention

(08:37 - 09:53) Substance Use Risk and Adolescence

(15:08 - 16:09) Trends in Adolescent Substance Use

(25:40 - 26:54) Concerns About Adolescent Vaping and Addiction

(29:25 - 31:05) Parenting and Conflicting Views on Alcohol

(32:52 - 34:08) Parental Approach to Underage Drinking

(36:18 - 37:49) Teen Substance Abuse Risks and Facts

In this episode, we are digging into why age matters when it comes to substance use and its effects on the brain, how substances have changed from when we were growing up, the statistics on substance use in teens and young adults, and why providing a “safe place” for teens to drink may have different results than you might think. 

LINKS 

LINK TO JESSICA’S WEBSITE

https://www.jessicalahey.com/

LINK TO PAULA’S NEWSLETTER

https://www.paulafarisofficial.com/newsletter

FOLLOW PAULA ON INSTAGRAM  

https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en

LINK TO CARRY’S NEWSLETTER 

https://carrymedia.com/the-carry-all/

Mother’s Day Giveaway with ABLE

Mamas, our team at CARRY™️ is giving away a bundle of our favorite things that go in The CARRY ALL bag (the ultimate working mom bag, our collaboration with  ABLE )

Not only can you get 30% off the bag and ABLE’s entire site using the code CARRYMOM30 (through May 8)…

10 OF YOU ARE WINNING THIS BUNDLE

-Owala water bottle (because there’s an interior water bottle holder in the bag!)

-GOODR Sunglasses gift card

-SIMPLIFIED Planner from their new spring line

-ABLE Leather conditioner to keep your bag beautiful

-Signed copies of Paula’s books– “WHO Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up” and “You Don’t Have To CARRY It All”

TOTAL = $175 VALUE

HOW DO YOU ENTER?

Anyone who has ordered the bag from March through May 8 is automatically entered to win. We’ll do the rest! We have your contact information and will contact the winners by May 10. 

Purchase your bag today! https://bit.ly/4dqGTsR

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’ve been pretty open about caring for my aging mother while juggling a family of five. There’s actually a term for this stage of life-- when you’re caring for your kids and your parents. It’s called ‘The Sandwich Generation’ when you’re sandwiched between caring for your kids and your parents. 

When I heard your similar stories and learned that so many of you are in the thick of this season, I knew we had to talk about it. And I knew there was only one person we needed to talk to. 

Jessica Kim is a mom of three and a fellow mompreneur who cared for her parents in her home until they passed away. In 2018, she founded IANA Care because she experienced firsthand how isolating, overwhelming, and unsupported this time of life can be. (IANA=I Am Not Alone)  

Caring for our parents is an honor, but it can also be a big stressor. I hope this conversation helps you navigate what to do when caring for your kids and parents. And, more importantly, I hope you know you’re not alone in it. 

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It. 

Listen in to learn more:

(09:13 - 11:25) Selling the Family Home Emotional Journey

(15:49 - 16:34) Acknowledging the Role of Caregiver

(28:46 - 30:00) Support for Caregivers

In this episode, we discuss the importance of naming and defining our role as caregivers, why caregiving does not have to be all or nothing, two questions to ask as you decide what to delegate, why caregivers burn out, and what we can do about it, and some practical tools to help ease the load on your caregiving journey. 

LINKS



Find out more information about IANA -

https://ianacare.com/ 

Link to Paula's newsletter

https://www.paulafarisofficial.com/newsletter

Follow Paula on Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en

Link to Carry's Newsletter

https://carrymedia.com/the-carry-all/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m not sure we’ve had more interest in any other topic than the one we’re going for today. We’re talking YOUTH SPORTS: the #1 reason your kids should play, how to NOT be one of those crazy sports parents, and whether youth sports have gone too far. 

It’s a big topic to tackle (no pun intended), for sure. But one that we’re all very passionate about. 

There’s a reason 70% of kids quit sports by the age of 13: the pressure, intense parents, and unrealistic expectations. 

In fact, there’s a bit of tension in our own home about how far is too far. We’ll talk about how we’ve navigated it, answer some of your biggest questions, and explain why we believe every kid should play youth sports. 

You’ll also enjoy hearing John’s take on all this, as he's coached college, high school, and AAU basketball and was a college basketball All-American (which is super hot).

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It.

Listen in to learn more:

(00:00 - 00:40) Parents' Expectations in Youth Sports

(03:29 - 03:48) Sports-Loving Duo Met in College

(07:58 - 08:24) Coaching Youth Basketball Lessons

(10:46 - 11:53) Qualities of an Exceptional Athlete

(18:36 - 20:08) High School Athletes and Sports Chances

(26:02 - 27:01) Perspective on Letting Kids Compete

(28:56 - 29:51) Year-Round Travel Sports Specialization

(35:14 - 36:16) Individualized Support for Children

(38:31 - 39:17) Connecting With Teen Boys

Summary: 

In this episode, we explore the benefits of youth sports that shape our kids long after the ball stops bouncing, what it means to keep our expectations realistic as parents, how to encourage and support our kids without pushing them too hard or too far, and how to navigate the pressure of intense sports schedules as a family. 

LINKS:

LINK TO PAULA’S NEWSLETTER

https://www.paulafarisofficial.com/newsletter

FOLLOW PAULA ON INSTAGRAM  

https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en

LINK TO CARRY’S NEWSLETTER 

https://carrymedia.com/the-carry-all/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices