The Paula Faris Show

This is the practical episode. Now it’s time to take everything we’ve learned in this series with Dr. Chapman—and actually use it.

After breaking down what the love languages are (and what they aren’t), Dr. Gary Chapman joins me and John in the final conversation of our Love Languages series, to show us how to put them into practice in real life. 

We’ll break down what he calls the dialects of each love language—the specific ways love is expressed, received, and often misunderstood. Because knowing the language isn’t enough if you’re speaking it in a way that doesn’t land.

We also dig into how love languages show up with kids, and how to recognize what our children are actually asking for.

If you’ve ever thought, I’m trying—but it’s not working, this is where it finally clicks.

Life Happens. Let’s talk about it.

Listen in to learn more 

[0:00:00] Why This New Love Languages Book Exists: Dialects + Personality

[0:02:53] Dialects Turn Generic Love Languages into a Personal “Master Class”

[0:06:03] Words of Affirmation: Encouragement, Appreciation, and Compliments

[0:09:34] Quality Time, Gifts, and Acts of Service: Getting the Dialect Right

[0:19:40] Physical Touch and Acts of Service: Customizing Love for Your Family

In this episode, we are digging into the personal ways people give and receive love, the difference between encouragement, appreciation, and compliments, practical ways to spend quality time with your partner, different kinds of gifts loved ones may enjoy, what acts of service and physical touch look like in different contexts, and why it is important to know the dialect of your partner’s love language. 

LINKS

Get my personal newsletter and win a copy of Dr Chapman’s new book

Take the Love Languages Quiz

Take the Premium Assessment

Get his new book: The Love Language That Matters Most 

Connect with Paula on Instagram 

THE CARRY™ ALL NEWSLETTER by and for working moms

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Sex. Almost every man will say it’s their love language.

But Dr. Gary Chapman—the expert behind The Five Love Languages—explains why that’s not quite right, and makes a crucial distinction between physical desire and emotional connection.

John and I dig into what this really means for intimacy, unpacking the science behind male vs. female sexual needs and why understanding your partner’s love language can change everything. 

We also explore how love languages show up in parenting—and how to recognize them in your kids.

⚠️Warning: we go there. Sex, chemistry, and the truths you’ve been too polite to ask about. 

Listen in to learn more 

[0:03:26] Sex Isn’t a Love Language

[0:07:28] Men’s Bodies, Women’s Emotions

[0:08:29] Fill the Love Tank, Fix the Bedroom

[0:14:25] Decode Your Kid’s Love Language by Age Four

[0:19:24] Mental Load: The Ultimate Intimacy Killer

SUMMARY

In this episode, we are digging into the distinction between emotional and physiological aspects of sex, the biological reason men desire sex, differences in men and women when it comes to sex, the importance of emotional connection with your partner, meeting the emotional needs of your partner in seasons of stress, and (sharp turn) three ways to know your child’s love language. 

LINKS

Get my personal newsletter and win a copy of Dr. Chapman’s new book

Take the Love Languages Quiz

Take the Premium Assessment

Get his new book: The Love Language That Matters Most 

Connect with Paula on Instagram 

THE CARRY™ ALL NEWSLETTER by and for working moms

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You can be doing all the “right” things—and still missing each other.

In part two of our month-long series on The Five Love Languages, we dive into Dr. Chapman’s newest book, The Love Language That Matters Most—what he calls the masterclass on love languages, to explore why good intentions miss the mark. 

We dig into the gap between intention and impact—and why so many relationships feel stuck despite trying harder

Also, John and I take the premium assessment, and our results genuinely shock us—we did not see them coming. 

And coming up next: sex, physical touch, and why it’s not a sixth love language (that conversation might surprise you).

Life Happens. Let’s talk about it.

Listen in to learn more:

[0:09:43] Love vs. Manipulation: Speaking the Language for the Right Reason

[0:05:18] Lopsided Love Tanks: When One Partner Feels Empty and the Other’s Full

[0:13:07] Dialects Matter: Missing the Mark Inside the Right Love Language

[0:16:44] The Third Ear: Listening for Emotions, Not Just Words

[0:20:09] Attitude Over Feeling: Choosing Unconditional Love Daily

In this episode, we are digging into ways we fall short in speaking the love language of our partner, the importance of having an attitude of love, what love is and what it is not, speaking our partner’s love language for the right reasons, two kinds of people who are fluent in all five love languages, staying curious and listening to understand, and the most important question you can ask your partner.

Get my personal newsletter and win a copy of Dr Chapman’s new book

Take the Love Languages Quiz

Take the Premium Assessment

Get his new book: The Love Language That Matters Most 

Connect with Paula on Instagram 

THE CARRY™ ALL NEWSLETTER by and for working moms 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Thirty years after The Five Love Languages reshaped how we talk about relationships, Dr. Gary Chapman joins John and me to revisit the core question that matters most: Do the people you love actually feel loved?

This episode kicks off our month-long series with Dr. Chapman—a deep dive into the love languages that becomes a master class in how we give and receive love.

We unpack the five love languages, the idea of the “love tank,” and why good intentions aren’t enough. This episode sets the foundation for the entire series and reframes how we think about love, connection, and effort.

Life Happens. Let’s talk about it.

Listen in to learn more:

[0:00:34] Timeless Impact of the Five Love Languages
[0:07:59] The Five Love Languages, Clearly Defined
[0:11:31] The Love Tank and the 5:1 Magic Ratio
[0:16:19] How to Check Your Partner’s Love Tank Level
[0:18:07] Simple Ways to Discover Someone’s Love Language

In this episode, we are diving into an overview of the five love languages, why it is important to know your love language, how to figure out your partner’s love language, the love tank metaphor and why it matters, the magic ratio of negative to positive interactions with your loved ones, one check in question to ask your partner, and the love language that matters most.

Get my personal newsletter and win a copy of Dr Chapman’s new book

Take the Love Languages Quiz

Take the Premium Assessment

Get Dr. new book: The Love Language That Matters Most 

Connect with Paula on Instagram 

THE CARRY™ ALL NEWSLETTER by and for working moms 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We want to protect our kids from the awkwardness, heartbreak, and intensity of teen dating. But what if avoiding it altogether is actually doing more harm than good?

In this episode, I’m joined by therapists Sissy Goff and David Thomas to make a compelling case for why healthy, age-appropriate dating is necessary—not optional—for emotional and relational development.

We talk about dating as skill development: learning how to communicate, set boundaries, handle rejection, pace relationships, and maintain a sense of self. These are skills kids don’t magically acquire in adulthood—and when dating is delayed or forbidden, many are left unprepared.

We also unpack how parents can stay appropriately involved while we’re still close enough to guide them.

This is a reassuring, practical conversation for all of us parents who feel conflicted—wanting to protect their kids, but also wanting to prepare them for real life. 

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It. 

Listen in to learn more:

[3:39] The Dating Age Debate 

[11:10] Dating Builds Life Skills

[29:48]Tech, Texts, and Emotional Tangles

[41:15] Healthy Boundaries & Family Rules

In this episode, we are digging into wisdom for starting teen dating conversations, a healthy approach to intimacy, practicing relationship building skills, concerns about teen dating, teaching our kids how they deserve to be treated in friendship and dating relationships, having realistic expectations of teen relationships, relieving pressure from teen dating, healthy boundaries for teen dating, appropriate pacing in relationship and developing social skills, helping teens foster healthy friendships, and modeling healthy relationships for our kids of all ages.

LINKS

Get Paula’s Personal Newsletter  

Connect with Paula on Instagram 

THE CARRY™ ALL NEWSLETTER by and for working moms

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The teen mental health crisis can no longer be ignored. Anxiety, depression, attention issues, and suicidal ideation are rising—and the science is increasingly clear about the role screens are playing in reshaping our kids’ brains.

As we continue to revisit our most talked-about conversations from 2025, this remains one of the most shared and downloaded.

In this episode, I’m joined by Sissy Goff, therapist and Executive Director of Daystar Counseling, and Niro Feliciano, cognitive psychotherapist, wife, and mom of four. Together, we break down how technology and algorithms hijack neurochemistry, create unhealthy dopamine cycles, and impact attention, sleep, and emotional regulation.

We also talk about what parents can do—how to set healthy boundaries, what warning signs to watch for, and why there is real reason for hope. 

I also share why I’m choosing not to give my youngest a phone—and why just because you did it with one child doesn’t mean you have to do it again.

This is an empowering, practical conversation for anyone raising kids in a world that never logs off.

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It. 

Listen in to learn more:

[4:13] Gender Differences & Social Media Effects

[7:06] Developmental Setbacks from Tech and Pandemic

[12:43] Dopamine Deficit and Screen Time

[27:44] Parental Strategies and Boundaries

In this episode, we are diving into how anxiety presents differently for boys and girls, the impact of technology on teen social and emotional development, the correlation between teen mental health issues and technology, what technology and social media are doing to teen brains, signs and symptoms of mental health concerns in teens, research on dopamine and brain chemistry, navigating conversations around social media and phones with teens, making changes to how you handle phones and social media within your family, and healthy boundaries for social media and technology.

LINKS :

Get Paula’s Personal Newsletter  

https://www.paulafarisofficial.com/newsletter 

Connect with Paula on Instagram 

https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en 

THE CARRY™ ALL NEWSLETTER by and for working moms 

https://carrymedia.com/the-carry-all/ 

Connect with Sissy Goff

https://www.instagram.com/sissygoff/?hl=en 

Connect with Niro Feliciano 

https://www.instagram.com/niro_feliciano/?hl=en

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January is our “greatest hits” month—and this conversation with Dr. Jen Ashton and Aarti Sequeira remains one of the most shared and talked-about episodes of 2025.

Perimenopause is messy, misunderstood, and wildly under-discussed—even though it can last a decade or more and affect nearly every system in the body. I’ve been going through it for 12 years…and counting! 

In this episode, we get real about what perimenopause actually looks like in real life: brain fog, sleep disruption, rage, hormone chaos, and that unsettling feeling of “I don’t feel like myself anymore.”

Dr. Jen explains why the most significant changes happen during perimenopause—not after menopause—and why women deserve better information, better research, and better care. We also explore why this season can be both destabilizing and deeply empowering. It’s not about fear. It’s about reclaiming agency in a phase of life that too often goes unexplained. 

If you’ve ever wondered, “Is this normal?” or “Why didn’t anyone tell me about this?”—this conversation is for you.

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It. 

Listen in to learn more : 

[0:00:57] - Changing Perceptions of Perimenopause

[0:01:05] - Consistency and the Connectivity Challenge

[0:06:36] - Hormonal Changes During Perimenopause

[0:12:03] - Gender Equity and Research Funding

[0:22:47] - Challenging Perimenopause Victim Narratives

Listen to the entire Perimenopause Series here: 

Ep 1 Perimenopause: The real change

Ep 2  Perimenopause: How to prepare 

Ep 3  Perimenopause: What no one is saying about GLP-1’s

Ep 4  Perimenopause: Is Testosterone the game-changer women need

Ep 5 Perimenopause: Why ages 45-50 are so risky for women and how to get help

In this episode, we are diving into honest conversations about perimenopause, three major changes a woman goes through in her lifetime, why the changes in perimenopause feel so monumental, current research on women’s health, the pros and cons of western medicine and the American healthcare system, advocating for ourselves, and taking responsibility for our own health.

LINKS

Get Paula’s Personal Newsletter  

https://www.paulafarisofficial.com/newsletter 

Connect with Paula on Instagram 

https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en 

THE CARRY™ ALL NEWSLETTER by and for working moms 

https://carrymedia.com/the-carry-all/ 

My Favorite Weighted Vest

https://amzn.to/4iMWhla 

https://menopause.org/ 

https://www.myalloy.com/ Use code: PAULA42103 for $25 off first order

Meet Dr Jen

Meet Aarti

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What if midlife isn’t a slow fade into invisibility, but the most confident, ridiculous, and joyful chapter yet?

All month long in January, we’re revisiting the best of our most downloaded, most shared, and most talked-about conversations from 2025—and this episode is a true greatest hit.

In this laugh-out-loud conversation, I’m talking with the wildly relatable Peaches of Peaches and Diesel 104, the Instagram phenom who’s turned Gen X midlife into must-watch comedy. From menopause mishaps and rogue eyebrow hairs to empty nesting, friendship, marriage, and saying “yes” to absolutely absurd ideas (Dateline murder binders, wedding dress try-ons, goat yoga—yes, really), nothing is off-limits.

Peaches shares how her platform unexpectedly blew up during the pandemic, why women in midlife are more powerful (and less apologetic) than ever, and how humor and friendship can carry us through big transitions—menopause included. 

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It. 

🎧 Bonus tip: This episode includes plenty of visual “show and tell,” so be sure to watch it on YouTube for the full experience!

Listen in to learn more: 

(3:15) Midlife Isn’t Decline — It’s Confidence, Freedom, and Trying New Things

(8:40) Laughter and Levity Are Essential Tools for This Season of Life

(24:30) Empty Nesting Requires Investing in Your Marriage, Not Just Your Kids

(37:50) Menopause & Perimenopause: Normalize the Symptoms and Stop the Shame

(52:10) Friendship in Midlife Matters More Than Ever — Seek Connection and Say Yes

In this episode, we are digging into the power of saying yes and trying new things, stepping out of your comfort zone, embracing what makes you unique, finding humor and joy in midlife, what it’s like to be an empty nester, encouragement for navigating menopause, staying healthy and having fun as we age, and the importance of friendship in midlife.

In this episode, we are digging into finding humor and joy in midlife, what it’s like to be an empty nester, saying yes to things that bring you joy, being willing to try something new, navigating menopause, and the importance of friendship in midlife. 

My Favorite Weighted Vest

Follow Peaches on IG

Get Paula’s Personal Newsletter  

Follow Paula on IG

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As we head into the season of gathering, giving… and gritting our teeth at the dinner table, we’re revisiting one of my most popular conversations — with Harvard happiness expert, Professor Arthur Brooks. The research is clear: the happiest people in the world have one thing in common — strong family connections.

But what if your family drives you nuts? What if the group chat is a minefield and you’re already bracing yourself for Aunt Marge’s political monologue?

If you struggle with family dynamics, you’re not alone. It’s normal.

In this episode, we unpack why we need our families even when we don’t always like them, the neurobiological wiring that keeps us connected, and why conflict doesn’t mean failure. If you’re heading into this season with mixed emotions, this one will help you navigate the tension. 

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It. 

Listen in to learn more

(0:30) — Family dynamics

(1:40) — Happiness / “science of happiness”

(10:30) — Neurobiological connection / sense of self

(14:50) — “Love without liking”

(25:30) — Conflict vs. schism (estrangement)

SUMMARY

In this episode, we are diving into estrangement in families, expectations in parenting and family relationships, the differences between family connections and friendships (and why we need both!), the science of how family connects us to a sense of self, how much effort you should put into family relationships, common challenges that make family life complicated, the difference between conflict and schism in relationships, a call back to intergenerational living, and advice for managing conflict in family relationships. 

Sponsor : Cozy Earth – Luxury Bedding and Loungewear 

Cozy Earth offers luxury bedding and loungewear known for its incredible softness and temperature regulation. Browse today. Never worry about sleeping hot again!

Head to ⁠cozyearth.com⁠ and use my code PAULA for up to  40% off!

Want to advertise on my show? Link HERE

Sign up to receive Paula’s email where she keeps it real about what it’s like being a parent in America. And, if you’re a working mom, make sure you’re getting The CARRY ALL email, the load-lessening newsletter for and by working moms. 

Connect with Professor Arthur Brooks 

 ​​https://arthurbrooks.com/meet-arthur 

Please donate today to Mercy Ships. 

Visit Omaha Steaks for 50% off sitewide during their Sizzle All the Way Sale. And for an extra $35 off, use promo code FUN at checkout.

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In part two of our annual Ask Us Anything series, John and I tackle your questions about the messy world of parenting, surviving the holidays, and what life really looks like after stepping away from TV.

We get into all of it — how we handled (and mishandled) the sex talk with our kids, why the teenage years nearly broke us (and what ultimately helped), and the backwards parenting advice we wish we could give our 30-year-old selves. We also talk holiday traditions and how unprepared we actually are every December.

It’s very us — flannels, real talk, and all. 

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It. 

Listen in to learn more :

(04:30)  How to Handle “The Sex Talk” With Kids

(12:00) Holiday Stress, Traditions & the Reality of Being Unprepared

(20:30) Parenting Advice for Your 30s: Let Them Fail Forward

(30:30) Surviving the Teen Years & Planned Emancipation

(44:30)College Search, Leaving New York & Life Reset Reflections

In this episode, we are digging into holiday prep and holiday traditions, parenting advice for parents in the little years, tough parenting seasons and coming out on the other side, parenting as partners, helping our teens make college decisions, and taking the risk to start over in a new place.

Sponsor: Cozy Earth – Luxury Bedding and Loungewear 

Cozy Earth offers luxury bedding and loungewear known for its incredible softness and temperature regulation. Browse today. Never worry about sleeping hot again!

Head to ⁠cozyearth.com⁠ and use my code PAULA for up to  40% off!

Want to advertise on my show? Link HERE

Sign up to receive Paula’s email, where she keeps it real about what it’s like being a parent in America. And, if you’re a working mom, make sure you’re getting The CARRY ALL email, the load-lessening newsletter for and by working moms. 

Connect with John

Please donate today to Mercy Ships. 

Visit Omaha Steaks for 50% off sitewide during their Sizzle All the Way Sale. And for an extra $35 off, use promo code FUN at checkout.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices