The Podster Lobster

Have you ever wanted a pillow for your face? We talk about that, AncestryDNA, Greek orgies, sending your parents to a retirement home, having kids, lab-grown meat, the shame of getting swabbed, peeing into the drain in the middle of the sauna, being watched & listened to through your phone, Eminem's old songs, trap, being 'bad' in high school, looking after future self, no-spending challenges, getting low stats at work, a fake half-brother, distant cousins, becoming a nun, nasty strip-clubs, ugly babies, losing your soul at work, being homeless, everything being a joke, ripping ass in a hot car, shaving your conchita, pink pubes, shower chairs, f*cking on a water bed, finding older men attractive, finding comfort in bad patterns of behavior, swingers, the consequences of addicting everyone to their phone, Myspace, meditating & f*cking, trying anal, and blowing Jesus.

Happy holidays y'all! In this episode, we talk about walking awkwardly, balding, crocodile boots, old-school Mexican entrances, losing touch with family members, eating asado, how hot the year was, learning how to play the keyboard, our former guitar teacher Mr. Pugh, window-shopping on Amazon, Gamefly, EA Sports FIFA, Topspin, Castlevania, Fate/ Stay Night, Dragon Ball Super, Attack on Titan, The Final Countdown, the new Avengers movie, buying a PS4 Pro, traveling to Mars, hitting your head, & cute dogs on Instagram. 

We're back! Join us as we discuss crazy deaths, the crisis in Venezuela, finger-popping, creeps in Hollywood, car accidents, Flicks Pizza, and being too lazy to shop for groceries.

Would you rather lose your life partner or lose your mom? We discuss that difficult question, The Green Hornet, unavailable videos in your country, being scared to death, cultural appropriation, being paisa, having ultra-religious family members, Catholicism vs other versions of Christianity, tracing our roots, making things sound Japanese, Michael Hastings, finally getting my PenSimple, Spiderman Homecoming, stealing baby names, the world's most expensive dog, live NSA hacking & how information is gathered about you, Sabina Altynbekova, being late from lunch, the cost of phone towers in the middle of nowhere, picking between a dead baby & three dead adults, cats swallowing needles, Drank the dog, throwing up on yourself, losing your sex organs vs gaining 200 pounds, doing something horrible vs having people think you did something horrible, having no penis vs having 5 penises, Blue Eyes White Dragon, losing your life partner vs losing your mom, time travel, Adam Sandler & alternate timelines, celebrity crushes, going blind vs being deaf, being a wizard vs being a vampire, angry drivers, teenage overconfidence, Game of Thrones season 7, knowing when the mint is going to hit you too hard & the highest we've been, and thinking reality is fake.

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Not all dolphins are serial rapists, but some are. We dab to SpongeBob, and talk about weird annunciations, Wheeler Walker Jr., a pit bull home invasion, sh*tty neighbors, chasing after the shot-girl, dancing with old ladies, hitting on the most beautiful woman Mary Jane's ever seen, smoking cigarettes in high school, $0.25 beer, throwing up at Jack in the Crack, inviting nurses out for drinks, cubed bread, learning how to shave, complimenting a Korean lady, cheap Asian groceries, preferring pretty lesbians, crying openly, butts vs boobs, what attracts women to men, homemade kombucha, weird YouTube channels, trypophobia, phobias in general, burned alive vs stabbed to death, the anabaptists & the Münster Rebellion, medieval torture, the honest brutality of nature, verifying one's century of birth, the rush of having kids, time & life, f*cked up family members, camping, Mexican uncles, & Mexican sleeping habits.

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I want to play a game. After dating for a long time, how well do we truly know our partners? We put our (often limited) knowledge of our partners' lives, thoughts, fears, & dreams, to the test in this unstructured & messy game show episode. 

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Would you still love your child if they were a murderous killer? In other words, which is better, unconditional love, or love that is a choice? We discuss that, and much more.

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How would you react if you found your parent's porn stash? Tune in to find out! (Just kidding; you don't have to, but you should)

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Three shots of rum didn't get us drunk, but they definitely gave us a buzz. We talk about firing people, flings at work, impeachment, outlandish houses we can't afford, loud neighbors, stickers, Mexican politics, the founding of USA, living next to a military base, vaguely knowing history, living past 100, the creation of millionaires, our fleeting French, the comfort is a simple life in a little town, getting sick while on vacation, Mayan pyramids, kidnappings & a 'chilling' 911 call, natural disasters, mass extinctions, & the baffling nature of space.

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Have you ever thought the sun was a UFO? We talk about that, hitting on girls when you barely meet them, crazy lovers, how women appreciate compliments from other women more than from men, being too white for IDs, all the work that goes into dat ass, spiting your enemies by looking good, procrastinating, annoying neighbors, legitimate reasons for moving out in a day, secret meth-heads, fitting cocaine into your diet, Drag Race, being triggered (for real), assuming someone's appearance based on their nickname, wanting your friends to peg you, having your mom buy you clothes, strange asian-store habits, duck eggs, being too weak to open jars, the worst vehicle to show up to parties in, double-seat bikes (or whatever they're called), masturbating as you drive, dreams of a future barn, almost getting hit with a hammer, hard labor (kind of), 14 year old parties at Mary Jane's old house, invading your kid's privacy, crying over the phone over heartbreak, retarded ponies, farting on the first sleepover, f*cking with bees, thinking a spider bit you, almost blowing up your microwave, & the origins of 69.99.

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