The Potential State Podcast

We all make compromises in our relationships.
But if you tend to feel resentment, bitterness or self-pity - you are essentially casting your partner as the cause of your pain. This could lead to a problematic victim triangle dynamic.

In this talk, I explain why resentment is the poison of relationships through examples from the clinic and my personal life.
Practical tips will help you admit and move beyond resentment in your intimate relationships.

www.potentialstate.com
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationships
http://podcast.potentialstate.com/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uw
https://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialState
https://twitter.com/assael

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Men and Women see the world differently.
They also communicate differently. Whether it is due to nature or nurture, there is a big difference in the style and goal of their communication.
This difference causes many misunderstandings, ruptures, and conflict.
With some awareness and flexibility, you can learn to communicate better with women and men.
In this talk, I explore different theories on gendered communication, through examples from the clinic and my personal life.
Practical tips are given on how to expand your communicational mastery.

www.potentialstate.com
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationships
http://podcast.potentialstate.com/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uw
https://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialState
https://twitter.com/assael

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Most of us don't take care of ourselves enough.
We try to prioritize self-care, yet often it doesn't work.
Why?
Because self-care is RELATIONAL when you're in an intimate relationship.
"Taking" self-care is essentially "giving" by your partner, who often will resist these changes.
In this talk, I explain why self-care is relational through personal and professional examples. Practical tips are given how to initate and follow through with relational self care.

www.potentialstate.com
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationships
http://podcast.potentialstate.com/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uw
https://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialState
https://twitter.com/assael

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Parenting is hard.
Co-parenting is even harder.
Most parents find themselves in dichotomous roles:

1. The Upstairs Parent - is less hands on, more focused on themselves or work, more fun and flexible and less responsible for the day-to-day parenting.
2. The Downstairs Parent - is the one running the daily child-rearing logistics, mostly alone and by themselves.
In this talk I explore the gains and losses of these roles and why you should find a way to soften this rigid dichotomy.
Examples are given from the clinic and my personal life.
Practical tips are given to help you both stay flexible and together.

www.potentialstate.com
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationships
http://podcast.potentialstate.com/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uw
https://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialState
https://twitter.com/assael

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Stories shape the way we experience our life and reality.
We tell and listen to stories all day. But are we really hearing the deep truth in those stories?
In this talk, I share a simple terminology that will help you hear the deep truth, the archetypal, universal themes that connect us all.
Hearing this primal truth will help you better connect and empathize with the people in your life. Examples are given from the clinic and my personal life.
Practical tips are given to help you practice listening to the deep truths of the people in your life.

www.potentialstate.com
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationships
http://podcast.potentialstate.com/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uw
https://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialState
https://twitter.com/assael

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Most of us get flooded and run away from heated conflicts in our intimate relationships: we hang up the phone, slam the door, take a walk.
While this can sometimes help you regulate, many times this actually increases the rupture and prevents repair and play.
In this talk I advocate while often it's time "to go back into the ring" of your relationship in order to grow.
Examples are given from the clinic and my personal life. Practical tips will aid you in returning more and more into the crucible ring!

www.potentialstate.com
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationships
http://podcast.potentialstate.com/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uw
https://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialState
https://twitter.com/assael

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We're all complicated people living in a complex time.
But this ambiguity prevents relationships from growing.

Simple "caveman" communication together with natural consequences, albeit risky, can actually push your relationship to the next level.

In this talk, I explain how Caveman Consequences can help with examples from the clinic and my life with my classic wife Galit Romanelli.

www.potentialstate.com
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationships
http://podcast.potentialstate.com/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uw
https://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialState
https://twitter.com/assael

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We all have our default part, trait, or behavior we bring first in intimate relationships.
This is what I call our Relational Business Card.
We've developed it since we were children and perfected it over time.
Yet these business cards can sometimes limit our relational repertoire and the people we attract into our lives.

In this talk, I describe the concept of Relational Business Cards and how you can expand your cards.
Examples are given from the clinic and my life.
Practical tips are given how to expand your relational business cards immediately.

www.potentialstate.com
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationships
http://podcast.potentialstate.com/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uw
https://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialState
https://twitter.com/assael

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Do you (or your loved ones) have to be in control all the time?
If so, then you are paying a heavy personal and relational price.

In this talk I share how and why do people have to control everything in their life and the price they pay for that.
I will share some examples from the clinic and my life.
Examples are given as well as tips on how to release some control in your relationships.

Link to the Mistakes episode - http://podcast.potentialstate.com/244426/1991479-there-are-no-mistakes-only-learning

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationships
http://podcast.potentialstate.com/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uw
https://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialState
https://twitter.com/assael

Support the show

You want your partner to celebrate you.
Yet you don’t want to ask them, because you want it to come from them.
You’ve tried everything: waiting, hinting, expecting, demanding, even asking.
But that usually leads to a lose-lose situation: either they do it because you pressured them, or they don’t do it at all if you don’t ask.

So what can you do?

 In this talk, I explain how to get unsolicited celebration from your partner.
Examples are given from my life, as well as practical tips that will increase your chances at getting spontaneous celebration.

Link to (M)other Milk podcasts and videos:
https://www.mothermilk.org/podcast
https://www.mothermilk.org/videos

Link to the wanting spiral episode:
http://podcast.potentialstate.com/244426/1436536-ownursh-t-14-the-six-phases-of-the-wanting-spiral

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationships
https://medium.com/@assael
http://podcast.potentialstate.com/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uw
https://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialState
https://twitter.com/assael

Support the show