Isildur counsels his successors to bring their heirs to the Hill of Awe to reveal the secrets of the realm; Alan and Matt wonder if there’s a Gondorian equivalent to Area 51. Join us as we step back in time to the establishment of the Tradition of Isildur in our final episode on Cirion & Eorl. Isildur gets out a map and points to the middle (like putting a memorial to George Washington in the middle of Kansas), the Stewards play rules-lawyer to justify their going to the hallow and then hardly ever go, and Cirion makes a tough decision about exhumation. We discover that Tolkien thinks he’d squandered his best “motifs and characters” in The Hobbit, discover that an absence of dead people means an absence of alfirin, and suggest that you talk to your doctor to see if Meneldil is right for you. Also, a Barrow-wight that sounds a little like Tom Bombadil.

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The Steward of Gondor and the Lord of the Éothéod swear oaths to one another; Alan and Matt simply try not to swear at one another. Join us as Eorl knows it’s time to ‘show the way and leave today’ in the fifth of our six episodes covering Cirion & Eorl. The Prince of Dol Amroth discovers the reason for the awe on the Hill of Awe, Eorl swears such an oath that we can only ever know the translation, and Cirion returns the favor by invoking the name of Eru for the first time in 2500 years. We wonder if Eorl’s oath was in alliterative verse, speculate about when to celebrate Rohan Day, and agree that Cirion is highly underrated. Also, let’s make Christmas carols in Quenya a thing.

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Come on, you had to know it was coming. Everyone wonders how Cirion will reward Eorl; nobody wonders how Alan will reward Matt. Join us as Cirion and Eorl rise above the noise and confusion atop the Halifirien in our fourth of six episode covering Cirion & Eorl. Tolkien keeps hyping up the secret on top of the mountain, Cirion gives an amazing gift (but, like most men, leaves it unwrapped), and Eorl offers to seal their friendship with an unforgettable oath. We compare the Hill of Awe to the Hill of Awwwww, decide that the Éothéod deserve at least a pizza party, and visit with Trotter from Tolkien Collector’s Guide about a fancy book. Also, Matt’s search for Bigfoot.

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Cirion uses his Phone-a-Friend lifeline and, fortunately, Eorl picks up; Alan uses his Phone-a-friend lifeline and… Matt picks up. Join us as Cirion sees that the end of Gondor is “closer than you think and you’re standing on the brink” in our third of six episodes on Cirion & Eorl. The Northmen contribute blood to Gondor, Borondir becomes a legend, and Galadriel runs interference for the good guys. We long to hear the unwritten songs, admire how Tolkien’s heroes do the right thing because it’s the right thing, and think that Ruckus in Rhovanion would be a great name for a fight. Also, hobbit strike zones and the new paladin ability: smell evil.

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Ondoher learns that battlefield intelligence is crucial to survival; Alan and Matt learn that bad dad jokes are crucial to this podcast. Join us as King Ondoher closes his eyes, only for a moment, and the moment’s gone, in our second of six episodes on Cirion & Eorl. The Gondorian army remains in column formation too long, the vanguard of the Wainriders does their job almost too well, and an unexpected guest shows up to the battle. We do more word-nerdery, hope nothing happens to Faramir (oops), and offer to beta test Total War: Middle-earth. Also, we mock Eärnur again.

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The story of Cirion and Eorl begins with an introduction to the Northmen; the story of Alan and Matt begins with Matt having to pronounce hard words. Join us as the Northmen have nothing to lose ‘cause it’s already lost, as we begin our six-episode sidebar on Cirion and Eorl and the Friendship of Gondor and Rohan — can we just call it Cirion & Eorl? Narmacil II loses badly, the Northmen form the Éothéod, and the Great Plague sets everyone back a century. We learn that about Tolkien’s trench fever, talk about the importance of rearguard actions, and explain the Undeeps. Also, Alan admits he’s pedantic. 

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Gondor and Rohan honestly believed in Saruman, while Alan and Matt aren’t sure what to believe anymore. Join The Man of the West and The Nerd of the Rings as we look at all the Kings of Rohan, and Matt gives Alan his new nickname. Saruman’s gets the keys to his new place, Aldor the Old is what it says on the tin, and no one has anything good to say about Fengel. We start with a review of the new film, The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim, wish we could pronounce Old English, and wonder if kings should choose more peaceful hobbies. Also, we talk about Tolkien and AI (no AI used in the generation of this blurb).

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Felaróf pays Eorl back by surrendering his freedom, while Matt pays Alan back with poetic body shaming. Join The Man of the West and The Nerd of the Rings as we meet the first King of the Mark, and flashback to his naming of Felaróf, in our first of two episodes on Appendix A II - The House of Eorl. Fram kills Scatha, but earns the enmity of the Dwarves; Helm proves he’s the original One-Punch Man; and Wulf’s time as King of the Mark is short-lived. We discover a creepy poem about Scatha, make future predictions from the past, and come up with a disturbing origin story for Santa Claus. 

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Join The Man of the West and The Nerd of the Rings as we answer listener questions once again in our 29th Questions After Nightfall! From Nazgûl backstories to chess in Middle-earth, from fantastic Middle-earth insults to the meaning of ‘crownless’, our listeners once again challenge us with unexpected questions. Alan helps Matt with some music history, while Matt admits we’re clueless.

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The Stewardship of Gondor became hereditary as a kingship; should the PPP co-hosts follow suit? Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy on his last episode this season as the Stewards of Gondor harden their hearts against the return of a king, any king. Cirion looks for an answer, and decides to phone a friend; the Stewards keep Gondor the same, only the names will change; and Thorongil has good advice for Ecthelion. Alan finds another excuse to read Quenya, while Don looks for his copy of Parmesan Eggplant #17, and we realize we don’t use “bereft” enough. Also, Mount Doom has a funny start button. 

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