The company reaches Isengard and discovers that property values have tanked in recent months, and it’s no wonder why when they see how poorly Saruman’s been maintaining his yard. Holes in the ground fume and glow with unnatural light, the place is flooded, and piles of stone and broken masonry hint at some recent battle. But strangest of all to the Rohirrim is what looks like two small people smoking on a rubble-heap. Are they some new monsters? A reason to call child protective services? Maybe we can ask who they are, if Gimli doesn’t strangle them first.

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As the company exits the mysterious forest, Legolas looks back and is enchanted by the trees and their eyes — a perfectly ordinary thing for trees to have, obviously. Before Gimli makes a run for it out of pure self-preservation, Legolas is snapped out of it by Gandalf, who offers no real explanation (again) and urges them to press on along the road to Isengard. We speculate on what Middle-earth would be like if there were no Dwarves, dust off our Gollum voices, and prove once again that we’ll grasp at any flimsy excuse to make a Rush reference.

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After a long night, the heroes of Helm’s Deep reunite on the grass by a stream near a forest that, uh, wasn’t there yesterday… but we’ll get to that later. Legolas and Gimli check the final score of Uruk Slayfest 3019, showing the Dwarf ahead by a head, but less interested in bragging rights than in the Glittering Caves he found in the Deep. Gandalf has returned, and — oh, right! — that forest that appeared overnight is not his doing, but he won’t say whose it was. Plus, a Tolkien Fun Fact about recovery, escape, and consolation among POWs in the 1970s.

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If you missed out on the PPP’s first-ever digital moot, here’s a chance to hear what you missed — or relive it, if you were there — in this episode recorded live during the second day of the moot! Alan and Shawn invited all attendees to join and ask any question, and they did… from fate and free will in Tolkien’s works (again), to underwater SPBMI, to the future of the podcast, and much, much more! There’s even a surprise question from a familiar guest who now holds the new record for most appearances on The Prancing Pony Podcast.

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An explosion rocks the Deeping Wall, and soon there are more as Saruman’s blasting fires make what little hope the heroes had go up in smoke. But as dawn approaches, Aragorn still believes that victory may come with the new day, and Théoden realizes it’s better to burn out than fade away. We see Gimli’s martial prowess on display, investigate what makes a parley a parley, and hear the horn of Helm Hammerhand sound in the Deep (and keep sounding and sounding…). Plus, Legolas defies the laws of physics in a new mailbag question.

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The Rohirrim, led by Théoden and Éomer (with lots of help from Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli), man the Deeping Wall and the Hornburg as Saruman’s assault on Helm’s Deep begins. A quick flash of lightning in the darkness reveals overwhelming odds, but Aragorn and Éomer draw swords together and keep morale high, even while rammers nearly break through the Hornburg gates. Also, Gimli and Legolas begin a contest to see who can take down the most Orcs. Legolas starts out strong, but our money’s on Gimli, who is deadly when he’s bored.

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Théoden and Gandalf lead the host of the Rohirrim towards the fords of the Isen to strengthen the forces holding back Saruman’s army. But when they meet a rider coming back from the front line with news of defeat, Théoden takes Gandalf’s counsel and changes course for Helm’s Deep and the mighty fortress of the Hornburg. We look at Unfinished Tales for an account of the recent battle, learn way too much about military supply chains, and discuss Tolkien’s visits to Cheddar Gorge… which leads to far fewer cheesy jokes than might be expected.

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Théoden offers Wormtongue one last chance to redeem himself, but the counsellor is disinclined to acquiesce to his lord’s request. As Gríma’s stain is (literally) washed away, Gandalf and the king catch up on the history of Saruman’s treachery and the damage already done in Rohan before riding out to do something about it, leaving the fearless and high-hearted Éowyn in charge. All this, plus we discuss Rohirric lines of succession, close the book on the color of Shadowfax, and investigate the meaning of pity in a new Philology Faire.

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Upon entering the Golden Hall, Gandalf is challenged once again; this time by Wormtongue, the king’s counsellor who may not exactly have Rohan’s best interests in mind. Gandalf puts the worm in its place (before Gimli can dissect it for smack-talking Galadriel) and then leads Théoden out into the light, to healing and hope for victory against Isengard, without a single exorcism. We watch and learn as Tolkien takes down criticisms of his archaic style, revisit an Old English greeting, and discuss an alternate draft in which Tolkien shipped Éowyn and Aragorn.

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Our heroes ride up the long and winding road that leads to Théoden’s door, but first they have to get through two sets of guards. Fortunately, Gandalf’s polyglottal talents get them through the first gate into Edoras, and they’ll be allowed into Meduseld itself just as long as they check their weapons at the door… their ancient, irreplaceable, priceless weapons. Inspired by Tolkien’s skill with Latin and Greek, Shawn takes a stab at speaking Old English; and a sidebar on Helm Hammerhand sends a chill down our spines.

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