The Problem With Perfect

What if you could learn to love your husband before you even have one? That’s what we are talking about today with author and speaker, Kim Vollendorf. Kim once thought Jesus was boring and irrelevant, but she changed her mind about Him in college. As a result, she has spent the past three decades working with the campus ministry Student Mobilization, discipling college women, and mentoring StuMo staff.

She made it through thirteen weddings as a single bridesmaid before she met and married her dreamy husband Sean. They have been married for more than twenty years, and have three sons.

As Kim has experienced the ups and downs of being both single and married, she found herself saying over and over again, “Young women need to know this.” One day she scribbled down on an index card the key lessons she learned as a single woman that really paid off in her marriage. The notes on that card became a series of talks which drew in thousands of young women, and those talks eventually became the book Loving Your Husband Before You Even Have One.

Hit the Highlights 

(3:00) How Kim’s ministry began 

(10:30) What are the biggest lies women believe before getting married?

(17:45) What to do if you waited until marriage, and the sex still isn’t that great. 

(22:00) Kim’s own love story 

(27:42) What to do if you’re thinking about breaking off a relationship

(36:40) Does the church contribute to unrealistic and unhealthy expectations in marriage? 

Additional Resources 

Get Kim’s Book 

https://amzn.to/3jxQHUS

Sex is Like Legos 

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/sex-is-a-creative-process/

The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

https://amzn.to/3mo35Zk

https://amzn.to/3kvGj12

For more than two decades, Michelle Linn has been getting up in the middle of the night to  prepare to give the world the news when it wakes up.  Originally anchoring the morning news in Columbia, MO on KMIZ-17 for 13 years, Michelle has spent the last decade waking up with audiences in Tulsa on KOKI Fox 23. In this episode, Michelle gives us a behind the scenes look at balancing her very public life with her role  of wife and mother.

As the evolution of news consumption evolves, so does Michelle. A mother of four, Michelle's life experiences empower her both on and off the air.  They also help her rise above the criticism that inevitably comes with being a public figure. Audiences may expect Michelle Linn to be perfect, but as you'll learn, she's comfortable in her own skin and confident to do her own thing. Join us for her refreshing and inspiring perspective.

Special Guest:
Michelle Linn Hodge, Morning Anchor
KOKI-TV Fox 23, Tulsa, OK.
https://www.facebook.com/FOX23MichelleLinn/

Former anchor on KMIZ Channel 17, Columbia, MO.

Show Notes

(6:00) God works in mysterious ways. This story of how Michelle ended up with her job in Tulsa is proof.

(10:30) Listen here to learn what a day in the life of a morning news anchor and mother of four looks like.

(11:45) Reporting (and consuming) the news has never been more challenging and here is why.

(15:30) Fake news? Real news? Here's how to discern the difference and open your eyes to views that are different than your own.

(22:00) Positive news stories are making a comeback and here is why.

(28:30) How does Michelle overcome viewer criticism and the pressure perfect to be the perfect mom?

(32:00) Here's how Michelle figured out how to embrace not being perfect and uses it to her benefit.

(35:30) Confidence was a game-changer for Michelle's career. Here's how you can learn from her in this area.

(40:00) Anything can happen when you're recording - even Rachel yelling at her dog, Ollie.

(41:00) Reporting COVID, the Trump rally and police killings took a toll and here's why.

(48:00) Feeling like you're not enough? Here's a simple take away to leave you feeling empowered and confident.



Resources:
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle.

What will the epitaph on your grave say to the world?

"To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die," aren't just words on her parent's headstone for Mary B. Lucas. They are now her legacy.

The ninth of ten children, Mary was an adult before she realized that her father, "a butcher by trade with an eighth grade education was the smartest man I ever knew." When he died in 2004, Mary wasn't content to let all his years of wisdom die with him. She wanted her boys to be inspired and shaped by the same advice her father had given her, so she began writing his life lessons that had shaped her and made him an entrepreneurial success. Little did she know that her spiral bound memoir would explode, become an acclaimed best-seller and afford her the opportunity to speak to people around the world, sharing her father's wisdom. 

This podcast isn't simply full of life lessons we all need to hear. It is inspiring and uplifting and will leave you motivated to bring out the best in yourself and those around you.

GUEST: Mary B. Lucas, author of Lunchmeat and Life Lessons, with more than 70,000 books in print. Now a motivational speaker and coach, Mary travels the world sharing the lessons her dad taught her. 

(5:45) Hear how Mary come up with the idea for this best-seller

(11:00)  Here's how John Bickelmeyer's secret to success can help shape your life? 

(16:45) Rachel's biggest take-aways from the book and how it is helping her during her build her career.

(21:30) We can all benefit from developing our own "Comeback Sauce." Here's why and how to do it.

(26:45) Need the recipe for Comeback Sauce? Here it is!

(34:00) How can you give the people who come in contact with you a dose of something extra?

(42:00) Have someone negative in your life? Here's how to help them (and you) using the art of appreciative inquiry. 

Want more from Mary:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIT_I7xYrA8

or order her book here:
https://www.amazon.com/Mary-B.-Lucas/e/B00MNTK1WI%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share

Why is it that when our friends tell us good news, oftentimes our first reaction is to get jealous? We want to celebrate our friends and the happiness they feel, but if we are honest, it can be really hard. Especially when our own lives don't seem to be going so well. So how do we support our friends when we are secretly jealous of their success? We are diving deep into this topic to help you navigate this very normal part of life! 


HIT THE HIGHLIGHTS 

8:30) This may be why your first reaction is jealousy when your friend tells you good news 

(10:40) Do we stop getting jealous of our friends as we age? 

(12:06) 3 tips to help you celebrate your friends instead of being jealous 

(13:00) Bible verse to help us with comparison 


"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer, and perfecter of faith." Hebrews (12: 1-2) 

TIPS 

1. Realize we are all on different paths 
2. Have an honest conversation with your friend 
3. Check your mindset -  there’s no glass ceiling on happiness 

His mom calls him Matthew. His friends call him Bickel. After you listen to this episode, you'll call him inspirational.

A successful entrepreneur whose business sky rocketed, Matthew wasn't just living large. As his lifestyle escalated, so did his weight. Adding a pound a month for 10 years, it wasn't until Matthew found it difficult to tie his shoes that he realized he was pushing 500 pounds. Now a world-class CrossFit competitor, Matthew shares how he transformed the way he thinks about food and movement as he finds peace with his mind, body and spirit.


HIT THE HIGHLIGHTS

(4:00) Here’s how Matthew’s health story got started 

(11:30) Are some foods healthier than others? 

(14:27) How do you tell your partner you want them to lose weight? 

(20:31) Can weight loss put strain on a relationship? 

(29:32) Do men get self-conscious about their bodies? 

(34:25) What part of the body are men typically insecure about? 

(35:05) How do you get healthy with your partner? 

(36:57) What do men want most out of a marriage?  

Additional Resources:

Andi’s scale
https://bit.ly/3iiqOb6

Follow Matthew on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/bickelco/?hl=en

obese_to_beast
https://bit.ly/3iiqOb6

What do you need?

It's easy to ask but difficult to answer because few of us really know what we need. We think we need a new outfit, a more loving partner, more food, sex, sleep or security. In this whirly and twirly COVID world, our longings leave us discontent and disconnected from what our hearts really need.

Join Robin for this R&R as she discusses why it's so important to know what we need and hear her practical tips on how to get it.

SHOW NOTES:

Prayer Robin uses during her quiet times:

May TODAY (in this moment, right now, the present) there be PEACE (tranquility, shalom, serenity, calm, freedom from disturbances or distractions) WITHIN (inside of me).

May I TRUST (have confidence, faith, acceptance without evidence or investigation) GOD (my creator, sustainer, Faither, provider, El Shaddi; the Almighty, El Elyon; the Most High, Yahweh; the Great I Am, our victory, our warrior, our sacrificial lamb, our Shalom; peace, our  Shepherd, sanctifier, and our righteousness) that I am EXACTLY (precisely, accurately, entirely, without discrepancy) where I am meant to be.

May I not FORGET (neglect or stop considering) the INFINITE (boundless, impossible to measure or calculate, limitless, immense) POSSIBILITIES (promises, alternatives, likelihoods, potentials) that are born BORN (come to life often through a painful process, awakened) of FAITH (complete trust, complete confidence, unwavering belief)

May I USE (display to accomplish a purpose or achieve a result for your glory) the GIFTS (something given freely without payment, a donation, a natural ability or talent) that I have RECEIVED (taken charge of, be responsible for).

And PASS ON (hand over) the LOVE (affection, intense feeling of deep joyful expression, showing care for) that has been given to me. 

May I be CONTENT (a state of peaceful happiness, satisfied, pleased) KNOWING (being aware, realize, being conscious of) I am a CHILD (a descendant, an heir, offspring, influenced by my heritage, made in the likeness of, fruit)  of GOD (see description above).

Let this presence SETTLE (make a permanent home) into my BONES (my body’s basic, fundamental framework that holds me up) and ALLOW (permit, authorize, grant, empower, enable) my soul the FREEDOM (power to act, speak and think without restraint, privilege, liberty, independence, openness)  to sing, dance, PRAISE (admire, worship, glorify, honor and acclaim) and love. 

It is there for each and EVERY ONE (all inclusively available) of us.

For more encouraging content, follow Robin at www.RobinMayMinistries.com and sign up to receive her emails. Or follow her on Facebook and Instagram. Email her at RobinMayMinistries.com or [email protected].

POP THE CHAMPAGNE because it's Robin and Rachel's one year! 

We are getting dressed to the nines and hosting our very own Problem With Perfect awards show to reminisce on the past year! 

To celebrate with us, we would love it if you would leave us a review or share the podcast with a friend! 

This is just the beginning friends! Cheers to more years of renewing our hearts and minds to know we are all enough in Jesus Christ. 

Funniest Moment: 
Robin & Rachel: Fake It til You Make It https://apple.co/3mA3LM2

Best Insight From a Guest: 
Robin: Find Your Flow in 2020  https://apple.co/33L9shC
Rachel: Things Emotionally Intelligent People DON'T do https://apple.co/2ZKTUdh

Favorite Episode of all time: 
Robin: Superbowl 2020 https://apple.co/3cjx2ps
Rachel: 3 Ways to tell if you're a Perfectionist or High Achiever https://apple.co/3kI72HD

Tell me...

Have you ever felt anxious about performing a task perfectly at work? 

Do you get so stuck making sure every detail is perfect that a task ends up taking way longer than you thought? 

Do you feel pressure to be seen as the perfect person around your friends or family? 

Do you find yourself showcasing only your mountain top moments on social media? 

Do you like people believing you have your life together? 

Do you have a hard time admitting you need help? 

You might have a problem with perfection. 

And I'm guessing that means you have some anxiety too.

According to Psychology Today, Perfectionists desire success, but they are most focused on avoiding failure. They don’t believe in unconditional love, expecting others’ affection and approval to be dependent on a flawless performance. 

Friend, the truth is the quest to achieve the unobtainable often leaves us frustrated, exhausted, and anxious. 

Our mission is to help you see that you are enough through Jesus Christ. But in order to move forward in a healthy way, we need to explore the relationship between perfectionism and anxiety. 

Why are the two so closely related? How do these manifest themselves in ways that steal our joy? Is there hope to be freed from the problem(s) of perfect?

Hit play, friend. 

We're right here with you 💗

SHOW NOTES

Perfectionism
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/perfectionism

The Link Between Perfectionism and Anxiety
https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2014/05/the-link-between-perfectionism-and-anxiety

Is There an Antidote to Perfectionism? https://doi.org/10.1002/pits.21797 (study from 2014) published in Psychology in the Schools.

The Alarming New Research on Perfectionism
https://www.thecut.com/2014/09/alarming-new-research-on-perfectionism.html

It's been six LONG months since life went virtual. For some of us, a part of our new reality includes rolling out of bed on Sundays and watching church from the couch in our pajamas. It sounds relaxing and convenient, but is it good for our spiritual development?

In this episode, Rachel and Robin discuss how the changing landscape of virtual church has impacted their spiritual health. Is there a difference between watching church and worshiping? Is it possible to do both? And how can we keep from coasting (downhill) during this pandemic? 

SHOW NOTES
2:00 Did you catch Robin and Rachel discussing this subject on their monthly segment on The Fox4 Morning Show last week?

4:15 What was your experience with Zoom before COVID? Here is Robins.

6:00 Listen to hear our struggle to attend small group meetings via Zoom?  

7:30 Does this look anything like your worship from home? 

10:00 Do you miss these things that Rachel misses about church?

12:15 Do you find yourself having a glass or two or three of this now that there is less to do? Us too!

13:30 What does it mean to coast? And where does it take us? 

15:30 Hear about Robin's interaction with God in her new sun room reminded her of God's faithfulness.

17:30 How needy do you find yourself during this season? And what are you doing to get your needs met?

19:30 How is our problem with perfection impacting our thoughts with COVID and our faith?

22:30 Can't get together with your small group for face to face meetings? Maybe this is an alternative that would be helpful.

24:00 Struggling with prayer? These thoughts on your relationship with God may offer insight into why and help you get reconnected to God and community.

Remember those scenes made famous by Viola Davis in The Help where she tells little Mae Mobley, "You is kind. You is smart. You is important."? Words are powerful and images like this one remind us how they can bring things (and people) to life.

In this R&R, Robin explores the why behind the power of our words and gives us three challenges for using our words for good.