Fatherhood, masculinity and what it actually takes to be a good man and a good person, with powerlifting coach Ian Grant and Alter Fuel founder Conor O'Keeffe.

Three fathers discuss the boundaries we set that our kids never see, what to tell your partner versus what to carry alone, what makes a good person and a good man, agency versus victimhood, why systems beat willpower and much more.

Dan: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thedancampion⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get your FREE copy of 20 Books and Podcasts to Change Your Life: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://mailchi.mp/prymal/bookspodcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Chapters:

00:00:01 Introductions

00:03:42 The Real Question: What Makes A Good Life

00:09:19 Standards, Mirrors and Raising Likeable Kids

00:19:26 The Walled Garden: Freedom Inside A Boundary You Don't See

00:23:30 Teaching A Skill Once, Then Stepping Back

00:51:23 Standing On The Shoulders Of Giants

00:57:38 What Dan's Parents Got Right, and Overdid

01:01:12 Ian On His Absent Father and His Mother's Flip

01:08:11 Kids Mimic What You Do, Not What You Say

01:17:22 Masculinity In Service Of Something Bigger Than Yourself

01:30:30 Would You Tell Your Wife If You Had Cancer?

01:34:42 Victim Or Responsible: The Social Media Question

01:39:25 Drink Responsibly, Scroll Responsibly

01:46:31 Should Kids Be Banned From Social Media

02:06:47 The Privilege Of A Hard Start

02:09:07 What You Tell Your Partner, and What You Carry Alone

02:17:17 The Cease and Desist Letter and the Miscarriage

02:27:29 Leave Your Runners By The Bed

02:30:17 The Way You Talk To Yourself

02:36:18 Closing Reflection and Where To Find Them

Everyone wants peace of mind.

But modern life seems to pull us further away from it.

Notifications. Distractions. Stress. Pressure. Feeling more overwhelmed, anxious and emotionally exhausted than ever.

Buddhist meditation teacher Kadam Adam Starr returns to explore why so many people struggle to slow down, why external success rarely creates lasting happiness, and why caring for your inner life has become one of the most important skills in the modern world.

This conversation explores the hidden imbalance between our external achievements and our internal wellbeing, offering a practical framework for cultivating greater peace, resilience and meaning without stepping away from everyday life.

• Why modern life leaves so many people feeling overwhelmed
• The hidden cost of constantly chasing external success
• Why your inner life deserves as much attention as your career
• Small daily practices that restore balance
• Why happiness isn’t found by doing more
• How to create more peace without escaping modern life
• Why meditation complements, not replaces, ordinary life
• The balance between ambition, achievement and inner wellbeing

Dan: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thedancampion⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get your FREE copy of 20 Books and Podcasts to Change Your Life: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://mailchi.mp/prymal/bookspodcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction

02:08 Why Peace Feels So Far Away

06:12 Why We're All So Overwhelmed

10:47 The Inner Life We Keep Ignoring

16:34 Your External Life vs Your Inner Life

20:13 The Challenge of Being Human Today

25:58 Why Success Doesn't Create Peace

31:20 The Problem With Constant Productivity

36:48 Building Better Mental Habits

42:14 Modern Life Is Moving Too Fast

47:40 Why We're Chasing the Wrong Things

01:03:12 Restoring Balance Without Leaving Society

01:09:54 Small Practices That Change Everything

01:16:33 Why This Matters More Than Ever

01:22:40 Final Reflections

Success can look perfect from the outside while being driven almost entirely by fear.

We explore ambition, uncertainty and the hidden cost of constantly pursuing the next achievement. Brian reflects on building a highly successful business, why scale eventually pulled him away from the work and life he genuinely valued, and how becoming a father changed his definition of success.

You’ll learn:

• How fear can disguise itself as ambition
• Why external success may still leave you disconnected
• The difference between living safely and living honestly
• How parenthood can fundamentally change your priorities
• Why constant work prevents difficult emotions from catching up
• How to create more space, presence and meaning in everyday life

Dan: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thedancampion⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get your FREE copy of 20 Books and Podcasts to Change Your Life: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://mailchi.mp/prymal/bookspodcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Chapters:

00:00:00 The Final Episode in the Old Studio

00:02:06 Bias Towards Action vs Having Nowhere to Be

00:03:52 When Opposite Behaviours Come From the Same Fear

00:05:53 Making Decisions Without Complete Certainty

00:09:18 Why Fear Stops People From Starting

00:13:29 Building a Successful Business You No Longer Want

00:16:46 How Becoming a Parent Changes Success

00:18:21 When Your Success Is Built Around Fear

00:22:57 How Do You Know What You Truly Want?

00:25:41 The False Promise of Certainty

00:28:41 Why Designing Your Own Life Can Feel Wrong

00:30:13 Productivity, Structure and Emotional Avoidance

00:32:11 Learning to Live Through Uncertainty

00:34:10 The Deathbed Test for Success

00:37:18 Using Work to Avoid Difficult Emotions

00:40:25 Why Life and Parenthood Feel Like They’re Flying By

00:42:12 Creating Space Between Emotion and Reaction

00:42:53 Moving Into the New Prymal Studio

00:44:22 Fear, Purpose and the Questions Without Answers

00:45:51 The Importance of People in Your Corner

Kadam Adam Starr is a Kadampa Buddhist Meditation teacher with nearly 3 decades of experience studying and practicing.

Most of us spend our lives trying to change our thoughts.

Very few of us ever stop to ask what thoughts actually are.

This conversation explores one of the biggest questions in psychology, meditation and human consciousness: what is the mind?

Adam explains the relationship between Buddhist psychology and modern Western psychology, why we become trapped inside our thoughts and emotions, and how learning to experience awareness directly can fundamentally change the way we relate to anxiety, anger, stress and suffering.

This episode explores how understanding the nature of the mind creates more space, compassion and freedom in everyday life.

You’ll learn:

• Why you are not your thoughts or emotions
• The difference between understanding the mind and experiencing it
• How meditation changes your relationship with anxiety and anger
• Why outrage is becoming our default emotional state
• The connection between neuroscience, psychology and Buddhist wisdom
• Practical ways to cultivate greater peace of mind

Dan: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thedancampion⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get your FREE copy of 20 Books and Podcasts to Change Your Life: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://mailchi.mp/prymal/bookspodcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction

00:14 Buddhist Psychology and Western Psychology

01:53 What Is the Mind?

10:05 A Guided Exercise to Experience Your Mind

14:50 Thoughts Are Clouds, Your Mind Is the Sky

17:46 Why You Are Not Your Thoughts

29:33 Understanding the Mind vs Experiencing It

35:53 How Awareness Changes Your Relationship With Anger

42:26 Does a Buddhist Still Get Angry?

44:12 Can Anger Ever Be Healthy?

48:39 How Social Media Trains Us to Be Angry

52:46 Looking at Your Phone More Than Your Mind

57:18 Is the Mind Different From the Brain?

1:04:34 Why You Shouldn’t Identify With Your Brain

1:10:42 Creating the Conditions for Peace of Mind

1:17:44 The Different Pieces of Mental Health

1:19:20 Tara Kadampa Meditation Centre

Brian O’Loughlin is a coach, podcaster, entrepreneur and regular guest on The Prymal Podcast. His work explores psychology, behaviour change and the deeper ideas that shape how people live.

This conversation explores several principles that have recently stood out as powerful ways of understanding human behaviour and personal growth.

Topics include:

• The difference between pain and suffering  

• Finite vs infinite games and how people approach life  

• Why psychological failure feels harder than physical failure  

• The beliefs that quietly shape behaviour  

• Awareness as the starting point for change  

• Humans living in environments we weren’t built for  

• The modern misunderstanding of Stoicism  

• Self-actualisation vs self-transcendence  

• Why meaning is closely tied to human connection

Dan: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thedancampion⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get your FREE copy of 20 Books and Podcasts to Change Your Life: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://mailchi.mp/prymal/bookspodcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Chapters:

00:00:00 Introduction

00:02:15 Why Certain Ideas Stick With Us

00:05:10 Psychological vs Physical Failure

00:08:25 Pain vs Suffering

00:11:55 Why Humans Avoid Discomfort

00:15:40 Finite Games vs Infinite Games

00:21:05 Playing the Wrong Game in Life

00:26:10 How Beliefs Shape Behaviour

00:30:05 Awareness Before Change

00:34:40 Humans Living in the Wrong Environment

00:39:20 Stoicism and Modern Misinterpretations

00:43:30 Escaping Emotion Through Distraction

00:47:45 Self-Actualisation vs Self-Transcendence

00:51:30 Meaning Through Human Connection

00:55:10 Trust, Peace and the Nervous System

Kellie Fennell is a coach, business owner, speaker, parent, and podcast host who has achieved huge success helping others transform their minds and bodies - while quietly burning herself out in the process.

You’ll learn about:

• The productivity trap and performance-based identity

• Why behaviour change fails without belief change

• Pain vs suffering

• External metrics vs internal metrics

• Burnout at the height of success

• Internal locus of control

• The role of expectation in happiness

• How to create space instead of constant consumption

• Why healing isn’t becoming someone new - it’s remembering who you are

The discussion moves beyond fitness into identity, unlearning inherited beliefs, and giving yourself permission to change.

Dan: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thedancampion⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get your FREE copy of 20 Books and Podcasts to Change Your Life: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://mailchi.mp/prymal/bookspodcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Chapters:

00:00:00 – Pain vs Suffering

00:03:45 – Burnout at the Height of Success

00:08:10 – Performance Identity and Self-Worth

00:12:30 – Why Money Doesn’t Fix Misalignment

00:16:00 – The Productivity Trap

00:20:45 – External Metrics vs Internal Metrics

00:27:40 – The 5 Regrets of the Dying

00:37:00 – “You Have 6 Months Left” Thought Experiment

00:45:45 – Psychological Safety and Play

00:52:30 – Facing 18 Years of Avoided Grief

01:06:20 – Healing Isn’t Becoming Someone New

01:11:19 – You Can’t Sustain Behaviour Without Belief Change

01:16:19 – Stop Consuming, Create Space

01:18:51 – Accepting Emotion Instead of Escaping It

01:21:36 – The Lamb in the Oven: Unlearning Inherited Beliefs

01:23:55 – The Elephant Rope: Breaking Self-Limiting Beliefs

01:25:44 – Redefining the Mountain

01:32:17 – Giving Yourself Permission to Change

01:35:35 – The Power of Retreat and Space

Truth is messy, and most people confuse belief with fact. That’s why online discourse feels like everyone is fighting for “objective reality” when we’re all operating from different conditioning, experiences, and algorithms.

This episode explores the difference between subjective truth and objective truth, why “my truth” can become a defence mechanism, and how to stop outsourcing responsibility for how you feel.

Covering ego, fear, victimhood, echo chambers, and why the real work isn’t “finding truth” - it’s letting go of distortion so you can respond with more calm, clarity, and compassion.

If you’ve ever felt reactive, cynical, or exhausted by culture wars and certainty, this one will help you see what’s actually going on under the surface.

Dan: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thedancampion⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get your FREE copy of 20 Books and Podcasts to Change Your Life: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://mailchi.mp/prymal/bookspodcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

00:00:00 Intro - calm year, why “truth” matters

00:00:34 Truth vs perception - why everyone thinks their view is objective

00:06:03 Death as “objective truth” and why meaning is still subjective

00:07:28 The real win - becoming less reactive to other people’s beliefs

00:12:26 The eulogy exercise - denial of death and “cope”

00:14:33 “My truth” - honest expression vs unchallengeable shield

00:20:32 Buddhism, psychedelics, and the “golden nugget” under conditioning

00:22:23 “My expression of the truth” - a better way to speak

00:25:11 Responsibility vs victimhood - owning what you express

00:26:21 The tell - “live this way so I feel safe”

00:28:46 Echo chambers and algorithm-shaped reality

00:31:16 Love, validation, and codependency as truth substitutes

00:36:08 Why most people agree on most things - nuance dies online

00:39:36 Fatherhood as a rite of passage for truth and accountability

00:46:48 “Tell the truth” - why truth is the adventure

00:48:24 Integration - notice the trigger, take responsibility, choose response

Most people don’t build businesses to serve, they build them to be seen. And eventually that validation runs out.

Phil Graham has coached 12,000+ business owners and disrupted industries. In this conversation he breaks down the real difference between founders who last and founders who quit - emotional resilience, decision velocity, and building a mission that’s bigger than your need for approval.

He explains 'the Ferrari trap', why marketing and sales is a moral responsibility if you genuinely help people, and how to design a lifestyle business that gives you authority, freedom and profitability - so you can actually live life on your terms.

Key topics:

• Mission over validation (and why validation always runs out)

• Emotional resilience as the founder advantage

• Fear as fuel vs fear as a crippler

• Decision velocity and course correction

• Risk: upside, downside, recoverability

• Lifestyle business vs enterprise

• Marketing/sales as responsibility, don’t be the best kept secret

• Fatherhood, standards, and “am I worth modelling?”

  
  

  Dan: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thedancampion⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  
  

  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get your FREE copy of 20 Books and Podcasts to Change Your Life: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://mailchi.mp/prymal/bookspodcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  
  

  Chapters:
  00:00:26 Emotional resilience and why founders fail
  00:01:35 Vision bigger than yourself and holding risk
  00:06:49 Emotional triggers, identity, and regulation
  00:07:40 Detaching from judgement and approval
  00:11:14 Fear, uncertainty, and meaning
  00:12:00 Mission as fuel, not motivation
  00:18:08 Validation vs mission, the Ferrari trap
  00:31:16 Solitude, self-trust, build a company with yourself
  00:36:27 Marketing and sales as moral responsibility
  00:41:47 Decision velocity, stop “thinking about it”
  00:43:07 Risk filter: upside, downside, recoverability
  00:49:52 Lifestyle business vs enterprise, choose the game
  00:58:13 Fatherhood: “am I worth modelling?”
  01:06:01 Fear as fuel vs fear as crippler
  01:20:30 Phil’s journey, what’s next
  01:24:11 Authority, freedom, profitability - living on your terms

Ryan Curtis experienced a terrible training accident that ended his professional MMA career and threatened to leave him completely paralysed.

In this powerful conversation, we explore the mindset that helped him recover against the odds, rebuild his identity, and find meaning in the middle of chaos.

Ryan explains why nothing about him is “special”, why mindset is trainable, and why sitting with your own thoughts might be the most important skill you ever develop.

We discuss:

• How resilience is built long before hardship arrives

• Why most people misunderstand failure

• The emotional engine behind discipline

• Why presence matters more than happiness

• How to stop living an unconscious life

• The role of identity, values and fatherhood

• Why gratitude is a practical tool, not a cliché

• The truth about success, external validation and social media

• How to build a life you’re proud of, one decision at a time

Dan: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thedancampion⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get your FREE copy of 20 Books and Podcasts to Change Your Life: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://mailchi.mp/prymal/bookspodcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Key topics: resilience, mindset, identity, fatherhood, purpose, self-reflection, discipline, values, personal growth, presence, gratitude, unconscious living, mental strength.

00:00:00 – Why inspiration fades

00:05:10 – Building a stronger mind

00:12:40 – Lessons from losing

00:19:30 – Who you choose to be

00:26:20 – The pull of social media

00:33:45 – Living on autopilot

00:40:50 – Facing hard truths

00:48:25 – Strength in community

01:00:00 – Defining your values

01:06:10 – Sitting with yourself

01:14:40 – Presence over happiness

01:23:20 – When life stops you

01:31:15 – The trap of wanting more

01:38:40 – Fatherhood and meaning

01:46:50 – Owning your imperfections

01:53:40 – What failure shows you

01:57:10 – Made In Chaos

Most of us think we need more discipline, motivation, or structure.

But in reality, we need something far simpler - to slow down.

Brian O'Loughlin explores the deeper lessons behind the Prymal 60 challenge and uncovers a more honest truth about change:

You can’t create transformation from a dysregulated, overwhelmed, overstimulated state.

You don’t think your way into clarity - you feel your way there.

This episode dives into:

• Nervous system regulation as the foundation for growth

• Why slowing down reveals the truth you’ve been avoiding

• The hidden warning signs of burnout

• How “containers” help us confront unconscious patterns

• Why presence is more transformative than productivity

• Why challenges often fail unless they create internal space

• The relationship between emotion, behaviour, and identity

• How to reconnect with yourself through simple daily practices

  
  

If you’ve been stuck in cycles of overwhelm, distraction, stress, or self-sabotage, this conversation will feel like an exhale.

Dan: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thedancampion⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get your FREE copy of 20 Books and Podcasts to Change Your Life: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://mailchi.mp/prymal/bookspodcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

0:00:00 – You Can’t Change Until You Slow Down

0:03:18 – The Real Purpose of Prymal 60

0:08:45 – Nervous System Overload & Hidden Burnout

0:14:32 – How Disconnection Becomes the Default

0:20:28 – Containers: Why Structure Creates Safety

0:26:41 – The Sludge Above the Gold (Emotional Truth)

0:33:15 – Walking, Breathwork & Simple Regulation

0:38:52 – Presence vs Productivity

0:44:09 – Emotional Awareness vs Intellectual Understanding

0:50:34 – The Body Always Knows First

0:56:12 – Burnout as a Bodily Realisation

1:02:25 – Why Change Feels Impossible When You’re Dysregulated

1:09:08 – Permission, Vulnerability & Male Friendship

1:14:26 – What We Actually Learned from Prymal 60

1:20:57 – Integrating These Lessons Going Forward

Key topics: nervous system, burnout, slowing down, emotional awareness, personal growth, presence, self-regulation, Prymal 60, behaviour change, trauma, embodiment, mindfulness, self-awareness, reflection, transformation, accountability, unconscious patterns.