All aboard! This year, book a tantalizing stay on The Queen Mary as you evacuate any one of Southern California’s various natural disasters. Our arousing accommodations await in your very own Self-Love-Stateroom, offering the perfect atmosphere for an auto-erotic experience while you watch KTLA’s 24-hour local news forecast. Self-Satisfaction is virtually guaranteed, with packages that include horny goat weed cocktails, personal massagers, perfumed body oils, and many other scintillating amenities to encourage extraordinarily loud climaxes that can easily be heard by your neighbors in the next room. Place self-love and self-care at the forefront of your magnificently masturbatory stay at The Queen Mary, with master rates starting at just $999.

Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://Zocdoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today!

This year, fast-track your way to eating well with Marley Spoon! Head to https://MarleySpoon.com/OFFER/BALD and use code BALD for up to 27 FREE meals!

Get your gut going this year! Support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual’s Synbiotic+. Get 25% off your first month at https://Ritual.com/BALD

Get the Rakuten app NOW and join the 17 million members who are already saving! Cash Back rates change daily, so see https://Rakuten.com for details. Your Cash Back really adds up!

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices