The Reconciled Relationships Podcast

My Daughter Finally Texted Me Back… How Do I Not Mess This Up?

Your estranged daughter or son finally reached out, and your heart is racing. Before you reply, pause. Take a breath and thank God for this moment, because whatever that text said, it's movement in the right direction.

In this episode, I answer a question I hear from so many moms: "My daughter finally texted me back. How do I not mess this up?" We talk about why you don't need to write a book in your reply, why rebuilding trust takes small, steady steps, and how to let your adult child set the pace. I also share how to guard your heart if things go quiet again, and why your child may be testing the waters to see how you'll respond.

With the holidays coming, I also have a word of encouragement for you, whether you hear from your kids this season or not.

Ready for support? If you're feeling ready for support and want to learn more about working together, I invite you to start with a short application. From there, you'll receive next steps to book your Heart-to-Heart Consultation. Start here: https://www.sally-harris.com/H2Happ

Not ready for coaching yet? Start with a free guide: https://www.sally-harris.com/free-guides

More ways to heal with Sally From Struggle to Strength self-study course: https://www.sally-harris.com/self-study Mini courses: https://www.sally-harris.com/mini-courses

About Sally Sally Harris is a Christian coach for moms of estranged, disrespectful, or distant adult children. After a 10-year journey with her own daughter, and the reconciliation God brought, Sally helps moms find peace, get their voice back, and hold on to hope rooted in faith.

🙏 Know a mom who needs this today? Share this episode with her. She may be listening alone tonight.

Connect with Sally YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sallyharriscoach Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sallyharriscoach/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachsallyharris Website: https://www.sally-harris.com

He says the hurtful thing. You say something back. And now there are two storms in the room instead of one. Then a week later, everyone acts like nothing happened… until the next time.

If you're living in that cycle with your adult son or daughter, this episode is for you. Sally talks about how to name the lash-out cycle so you can finally see the pattern, what riding that roller coaster is really costing you, and why somebody has to step off it, and why it can be you. Then she paints a picture of what becomes possible when you become the steady one: calm when your child's name shows up on your phone, no more bracing for the next blowup, and no more swallowing your hurt just to keep the peace.

Sally can't promise your adult child will change. But she can promise you this: you can.

The Steady Mom: a two-evening online event Tuesday, November 10th and Wednesday, November 11th 7 p.m. Eastern, one hour each night. Just $7. Learn what it really looks like to stand firm when your adult child lashes out, without shutting down and without losing yourself. Save your seat: https://thesteadymomevent.com/learn-more

Not ready for coaching yet? Start with a free guide: https://www.sally-harris.com/free-guides

More ways to heal with Sally From Struggle to Strength self-study course: https://www.sally-harris.com/self-study Mini courses: https://www.sally-harris.com/mini-courses

About Sally Sally Harris is a Christian coach for moms of estranged, disrespectful, or distant adult children. After a 10-year journey with her own daughter, and the reconciliation God brought, Sally helps moms find peace, get their voice back, and hold on to hope rooted in faith.

🙏 Know a mom who needs this today? Share this episode with her. She may be listening alone tonight.

Connect with Sally Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sallyharriscoach/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachsallyharris Website: https://www.sally-harris.com

"My daughter said she needs space. It's been eight months. How long am I supposed to wait before I reach out again? And what do I even say?"

So many of you have asked me some version of this question, so this episode is for all of you.

Waiting while your adult child asks for space? Let's talk about your next step. Book a Heart-to-Heart Consultation: https://www.sally-harris.com/H2Happ?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=libsyn&utm_campaign=consult&utm_content=needs-space

📺 Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cRiPB29M0wo

When an adult child asks for space, it often has less to do with you and more to do with what they're navigating in their own life. That doesn't mean it's your job to fix them. It means this pause is a time to pray for them and to ask yourself, "Who do I want to be when they come back?"

I'll talk about the fear that tells you, "If I don't reach out, they'll think I don't love them," and how to take those thoughts captive and replace them with truth. I'll also share the most important question to ask yourself before you reach out: Am I going to be okay if they don't respond? Am I going to be okay if it's another negative text?

There's no magic number of weeks or months. Every family is different. But I can tell you this: in just the last two days, three moms told me they've reconnected with their kids after one and a half, three, and five years apart. When you think this is the end, it may actually be the beginning.

Don't reach out from panic. Reach out from peace.

❤️ NOT SURE WHEN OR HOW TO REACH OUT? Book a Heart-to-Heart Consultation with my team. We'll talk through where you are, what you're facing, and what your next step could be, so you can move forward from peace

You've apologized to your estranged adult child, maybe more than once. You've listened, taken responsibility, given them space, and tried to make things right. And nothing has changed. So what do you do when your apology is never enough?

Ready to stop feeling stuck? Apply for the Breakthrough Accelerator (next group starts November 2): https://www.sally-harris.com/BreakthroughAccelerator?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=libsyn&utm_campaign=accelerator&utm_content=apology-not-enough

📺 Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/dswRt0XA87c

In this episode, I'm talking to moms who feel stuck between two painful extremes: apologizing over and over in hopes of reconciliation, or getting so hurt that they've closed the door completely. Neither one leads to healing.

We'll talk about: • Why apologizing again and again can become unhealthy • The difference between guarding your heart and hardening it • How to own what's truly yours without carrying guilt that doesn't belong to you • What it means to have a soft heart and a steady spine: staying open to reconciliation without giving up your peace or self-respect

Here's what I want every mom to remember: an apology is not a payment. It doesn't buy reconciliation. You can sincerely own your mistakes, ask for forgiveness, and still not get the response you're hoping for. Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing. Reconciliation takes two people, and you are only one half of this relationship.

You don't have to keep groveling, and you don't have to become bitter. There is another way forward. Healing is possible. People can change. God is still at work, even when you can't see it.

❤️ READY TO STOP FEELING STUCK? If you're tired of walking through estrangement alone, I'd love for you to apply for the Breakthrough Accelerator. It's a six-week, small-group coaching experience where moms work toward peace, healthier boundaries, and personal growth, with faith, encouragement, and accountability along the way. Our next group begins November 2. If it's full, you can still apply for an upcoming group. 👉 Apply here: https://www.sally-harris.com/BreakthroughAccelerator?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=libsyn&utm_campaign=accelerator&utm_content=apology-not-enough

Not ready for coaching yet? Start with a free guide: https://www.sally-harris.com/free-guides

More ways to heal with Sally From Struggle to Strength self-study course: https://www.sally-harris.com/self-study Mini courses: https://www.sally-harris.com/mini-courses

About Sally Sally Harris is a Christian coach for moms of estranged, disrespectful, or distant adult children. After a 10-year journey with her own daughter, and the reconciliation God brought, Sally helps moms find peace, get their voice back, and hold on to hope rooted in faith.

🙏 Know a mom who needs this today? Share this episode with her. She may be listening alone tonight.

Follow The Sally Harris Show for weekly faith-based encouragement for moms navigating estrangement and difficult adult-child relationships.

Connect with Sally Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sallyharriscoach/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachsallyharris Website: https://www.sally-harris.com

Have you prayed over your estranged adult child, surrendered them to God, and then found yourself taking it right back? You're not alone. For a mom whose child has walked away, surrender can be one of the hardest things she'll ever do.

In this episode of The Sally Harris Show, I answer a question I hear all the time: "How do I actually surrender?" We talk about why letting go feels so hard, the signs you're still trying to control the outcome, and what it really means to trust God with your adult child.

Maybe you're checking your phone, rereading old texts, or rehearsing conversations at 2 a.m., trying to figure out what to say or do to make things right. Your peace rises and falls with whether they call.

Here's what I want you to know: surrender doesn't mean giving up on your child. It means releasing the outcome to God, so He can lead your steps while you focus on your own healing. I also introduce the approach I use with moms in my coaching: Surrender, Stand, and Stay.

You can love your adult child, keep praying for them, and still move forward.

💗 Ready for support? The Breakthrough Accelerator is a six-week small-group coaching program for Christian moms navigating estrangement. We meet live online each week, and the next group starts Monday, November 2. Apply here: https://www.sally-harris.com/BreakthroughAccelerator?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=libsyn&utm_campaign=accelerator&utm_content=how-to-surrender

Not sure what your next step is? Book a Heart-to-Heart Consultation: https://www.sally-harris.com/H2Happ?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=libsyn&utm_campaign=consult&utm_content=how-to-surrender-consult

Not ready for coaching yet? Take the free EmpowerMom Quiz to discover where you are in your healing journey: https://www.sally-harris.com/EmpowerMom?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=libsyn&utm_campaign=quiz&utm_content=how-to-surrender

Or start with a free guide: https://www.sally-harris.com/free-guides

More ways to heal with Sally From Struggle to Strength self-study course: https://www.sally-harris.com/self-study Mini courses: https://www.sally-harris.com/mini-courses

About Sally Sally Harris is a Christian coach for moms of estranged, disrespectful, or distant adult children. After a 10-year journey with her own daughter, and the reconciliation God brought, Sally helps moms find peace, get their voice back, and hold on to hope rooted in faith.

🙏 Know a mom who needs this today? Share this episode with her. She may be listening alone tonight.

Follow The Sally Harris Show for weekly faith-based encouragement for moms navigating estrangement and difficult adult-child relationships.

Connect with Sally Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sallyharriscoach/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachsallyharris Website: https://www.sally-harris.com

Done waiting? Join the Breakthrough Accelerator. Our next group starts Nov 2: https://www.sally-harris.com/BreakthroughAccelerator?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=libsyn&utm_campaign=accelerator&utm_content=stopped-waiting

Are you still waiting for your estranged adult child to change before you can finally feel peace? Maybe you've spent months or even years checking your phone, replaying conversations, and hoping that one day your adult child will come back, apologize, or make different choices.

But what happens when waiting for your adult child to change means putting your own life on hold?

I spent 10 years navigating estrangement with my own daughter, including holidays with someone missing from our family table. I know how painful that waiting can be. But I also learned something that changed my life: My peace couldn't depend on my daughter changing.

In this episode, I'm sharing why waiting isn't the same as hoping, what it really means to surrender your adult child to God, and how to stop carrying the guilt, shame, and responsibility for choices you cannot control.

We'll talk about: * Why waiting for your estranged adult child can keep you emotionally stuck * The difference between holding on to hope and putting your life on hold * How surrendering your adult child to God changes your perspective * Letting go of guilt and responsibility that were never yours to carry * Finding peace and purpose even when your adult child hasn't changed * Preparing your heart for Thanksgiving and Christmas when your family is estranged

Mom, you don't have to stop loving your child to start living your life again.

READY FOR YOUR OWN BREAKTHROUGH? My next Breakthrough Accelerator begins November 2! This is a six-week, faith-based small group coaching experience for just six moms navigating estrangement or difficult relationships with their adult children. Together, we'll work on what YOU can change, even when your adult child isn't ready to change. Apply here: https://www.sally-harris.com/BreakthroughAccelerator?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=libsyn&utm_campaign=accelerator&utm_content=stopped-waiting

You cannot control when your adult child changes, but you can decide who you're becoming while you wait. You've waited long enough. It's time to start growing.

Follow the show for weekly encouragement, faith-based guidance, and practical support for moms of estranged adult children.

Your husband can't fix this pain, and you don't have to carry it alone.

When your adult child is estranged, the pain can feel unbearable. But what happens when your husband doesn't seem to understand what you're going through? While you're grieving the silence, worrying about your child, and struggling to get through each day, he seems to be carrying on with life as usual. Does he even care?

In this episode of The Sally Harris Show, we're talking about why husbands and wives may grieve adult child estrangement differently, why you might feel alone in your marriage, and what to do when your spouse doesn't understand your need for emotional support.

If you've ever wondered why your husband seems fine while you're falling apart, you're not alone. I'm sharing my own experience navigating estrangement in my marriage, the expectations I had to release, and why learning to seek support beyond my closest family and friends became such an important part of my healing journey.

In this episode, you'll learn: - Why your husband may respond differently to adult child estrangement - Why grieving differently doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't care - How unrealistic expectations can create additional strain in your marriage - Why seeking coaching or outside support isn't a sign of weakness - How to begin finding peace and moving forward, even when your spouse doesn't fully understand

You don't have to wait for your husband to understand your pain or for your adult child to reconnect before you begin healing. Your emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being matter, too.

💙 READY TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP? If you're a mom navigating estrangement, difficult boundaries, or a strained relationship with your adult child, I invite you to join my Breakthrough Accelerator, a six-week small-group coaching experience designed to help you find clarity, build confidence, and move forward with faith and purpose.

Our next group starts Monday, November 2nd, at 5:30 PM Eastern. Only a few spots are left. Apply here: https://www.sally-harris.com/BreakthroughAccelerator?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=libsyn&utm_campaign=accelerator&utm_content=husband-cant-fix

🙏 Remember, Mom: You never have to walk another day of this journey alone.

Not ready for coaching yet? Take the free EmpowerMom Quiz to see where you are in your healing: https://www.sally-harris.com/EmpowerMom?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=libsyn&utm_campaign=quiz&utm_content=husband-cant-fix

Or start with a free guide: https://www.sally-harris.com/free-guides

More ways to heal with Sally From Struggle to Strength self-study course: https://www.sally-harris.com/self-study Mini courses: https://www.sally-harris.com/mini-courses

About Sally Sally Harris is a Christian coach for moms of estranged, disrespectful, or distant adult children. After a 10-year journey with her own daughter, and the reconciliation God brought, Sally helps moms find peace, get their voice back, and hold on to hope rooted in faith.

🙏 Know a mom who needs this today? Share this episode with her. She may be listening alone tonight.

Follow The Sally Harris Show for weekly faith-based encouragement for moms navigating estrangement and difficult adult-child relationships.

Connect with Sally Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sallyharriscoach/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachsallyharris Website: https://www.sally-harris.com

The holidays are supposed to be filled with joy, family, and togetherness. But when your adult child isn't speaking to you, Thanksgiving and Christmas can feel like some of the loneliest days of the year.

How do you get through the holidays when there's an empty chair at the table? When everyone else is celebrating, but you're just trying to survive?

In this episode of The Sally Harris Show, Sally answers a heartfelt question from a mom struggling with exactly that. Having experienced 10 Christmases without her own daughter, Sally understands the grief, uncertainty, and heartbreak that can come with family estrangement during the holidays.

She shares practical encouragement to help you prepare emotionally, navigate difficult family gatherings, decide whether to change traditions, and find the support you need when the holidays feel overwhelming.

You'll hear why it's okay to do things differently this year, how to handle uncomfortable questions from family members, and why your peace doesn't have to depend on whether your adult child comes home for Christmas.

You can miss your child, grieve what isn't, and still give yourself permission to experience moments of peace and joy.

In this episode: - The last Christmas without Sally's daughter - How to survive the holidays without your child - Planning ahead for the hardest days - Finding your person: building holiday support - Handling uncomfortable family questions - Giving yourself permission to change traditions - When Christmas doesn't feel the same - You can be okay even if they're not - Finding hope through the holidays

❤️ Need extra support this holiday season? Sally's 6-week Breakthrough Accelerator begins November 2nd! This intimate small-group coaching experience is limited to just 6 moms and is designed to help you move forward with faith, healing, and renewed strength. You'll have support through Thanksgiving and into the Christmas season. 👉 Learn more and apply here: https://www.sally-harris.com/BreakthroughAccelerator?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=libsyn&utm_campaign=accelerator&utm_content=holidays-empty-chair

Remember, December 25th may be hard, but December 26th is a new day. There is still hope.

Not sure where you are in your healing journey? Take Sally's free EmpowerMom Quiz: https://www.sally-harris.com/EmpowerMom?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=libsyn&utm_campaign=quiz&utm_content=holidays-empty-chair

Free guides: https://www.sally-harris.com/free-guides From Struggle to Strength self-study course: https://www.sally-harris.com/self-study Mini courses: https://www.sally-harris.com/mini-courses

About Sally Sally Harris is a Christian coach for moms of estranged, disrespectful, or distant adult children. After a 10-year journey with her own daughter, and the reconciliation God brought, Sally helps moms find peace, get their voice back, and hold on to hope rooted in faith.

🙏 Know a mom who needs this today? Send her this episode. She may be listening alone tonight.

If this episode encouraged you, please follow the show and leave a rating and review. It helps other moms find hope too.

Connect with Sally Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sallyharriscoach/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachsallyharris Website: https://www.sally-harris.com

Ready to stop putting your life on hold? The Breakthrough Accelerator is a six-week, small-group coaching experience for just SIX moms.

Apply here: https://www.sally-harris.com/BreakthroughAccelerator?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=libsyn&utm_campaign=accelerator&utm_content=didnt-tell-me

Why did your adult child cut you off without telling you what was wrong? Maybe you've replayed every conversation, every holiday, every text, wondering what you missed. You would have listened. You would have tried to make things right. But what if your adult child believes they already told you?

In this episode, I talk about why adult children sometimes choose silence instead of communication, the signs we may have missed, and what you can do when reconciliation feels impossible. After walking through a 10-year estrangement with my own daughter, I've learned this: your life cannot wait for that phone call. You can begin healing, strengthening your boundaries, and finding peace right now, and that work can prepare you for real connection in the future.

Just like the father of the prodigal son, you can keep your heart open while continuing to live your life. God is still at work, even when you can't see it.

My next Breakthrough Accelerator begins November 2, limited to six moms ready to make meaningful progress in their emotional well-being, marriage, health, boundaries, or patterns of enabling. Apply here: https://www.sally-harris.com/BreakthroughAccelerator?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=libsyn&utm_campaign=accelerator&utm_content=didnt-tell-me

BE A CALLER ON THE SALLY HARRIS SHOW email: [email protected]

EMPOWER MOM QUIZ: https://www.sally-harris.com/EmpowerMom?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=libsyn&utm_campaign=quiz&utm_content=didnt-tell-me

CONNECT WITH SALLY HARRIS ON SOCIAL MEDIA: INSTAGRAM | https://www.instagram.com/sallyharriscoach/ FACEBOOK | https://www.facebook.com/coachsallyharris

If you're feeling ready for support and want to learn more about working together, start with a short application for a Heart-to-Heart Consultation: https://www.sally-harris.com/H2Happ?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=libsyn&utm_campaign=consult&utm_content=criticizes-everything

Does it feel like your adult child criticizes everything you do? Your tone. Your advice. The way you parented. Sometimes it can feel like even the way you exist is somehow wrong.

But not every harsh word your adult child says is the truth about you.

In this episode, I talk about what may be underneath all that criticism, and why sometimes we're so focused on the words that we miss the music underneath them. We'll look at the difference between healthy accountability and taking responsibility for someone else's emotions, why adult children may project their struggles onto Mom, and how to respond calmly without over-explaining, chasing their approval, or allowing disrespect.

You do not need to audition for your adult child's respect. You can love your son or daughter without absorbing their emotional chaos, and you can protect your peace without giving up hope for your relationship.

If you're ready for support, apply for a Heart-to-Heart Consultation, a private 30-minute call with me to talk through what's happening in your family and what your next step could be: https://www.sally-harris.com/H2Happ?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=libsyn&utm_campaign=consult&utm_content=criticizes-everything

EMPOWER MOM QUIZ: https://www.sally-harris.com/EmpowerMom?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=libsyn&utm_campaign=quiz&utm_content=criticizes-everything

BE A CALLER ON THE SALLY HARRIS SHOW email: [email protected]

CONNECT WITH SALLY HARRIS ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

INSTAGRAM | https://www.instagram.com/sallyharriscoach/

FACEBOOK | https://www.facebook.com/coachsallyharris

WEBSITE | https://www.sally-harris.com