The Relational Intelligence Podcast

In this week's episode we talk through a few findings from the book Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection by Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman and a casual conversation between my colleagues and I about those findings on a random Tuesday.

We discuss three conflict styles highlighted in the book (Avoidant, Validating, Volatile) and keys the authors shared about things to avoid during conflict and things to aim for in order to create connection.

If you're interested in bringing a library directly to your phone or tablet, consider downloading the Libby app. You only have to connect your library card and you'll be able to borrow e-books and audiobooks for free! 

In this week's episode we discuss how our upbringings plays a pivotal role in how we view the world, how we communicate, and how we interact with the environment around us.

In this week's episode we review some common patterns of rejection towards ourselves, such as:

• Being overly critical of oneself
• Being uncomfortable spending time alone
• Being in a constant state of comparison
• Focusing more on doing rather than being

We also discuss some steps we can take to begin learning true self-acceptance:

• Mindfulness & Self-Exploration
• Giving Yourself Grace
• Forgiving Yourself

In this week's episode we talk about insights on how to open our hearts and minds to simply having more fun. We go in depth about 5 strategies to help us along this process:
1. Stop taking yourself so seriously - instead, be more childlike (when appropriate)
2. Stop connecting with people on what's going badly - instead, connect on positive things
3. Commit to time away from your goals and obligations every day
4. Shut off analysis-mode
5. Try a complaint fast

Catherine Price TED Talk: Why Having Fun Is The Secret To A Healthier Life 

In this week's episode we discuss eight strategies to help you resist temptation:

1. Recall what tempts you
2. Interject and redirect yourself before you engage with the temptation 
3. Plan to have healthy alternatives in place
4. Introduce and welcome accountability partners
5. Challenge yourself for a set period of time
6. Keep the temptation out of reach 
7. Set your intention 
8. Create a rewards system

You'll find in depth explanations and examples throughout the episode.

In this week's episode we speak to Angela Duckworth's book Grit. She outlines three different views of work - job, career, and calling. In her book, she speaks to the degree of grit involved at each level. I paralleled job, career, and calling to dating, relationships, and life partnership. We zoom out and take a look at what our expectations and investments look like at each level of romantic relationship.

I'm going to keep it straight with you - uncovering your true identity is going to take a lot of humility because it'll be a game of trial and error. This lifelong journey allows us to sift through all the filth that life, hurt, rejection, misunderstanding, and everything else that has covered up the beauty of who we really are.

I intentionally titled this UNcovering your true Identity rather than DIScovering your true identity because it's already inside of you. We don't need to find it, we need to uncover it. I've been doing so by:
1. Adopting a clear belief system
2. Doing a self-analysis (over and over again)
3. Determining what characteristics best serve me and which ones hurt me
4. Being open to changing

I'll be on this journey for the rest of my life, but I wanted to share what I know so far. I hope it's helpful :)

In this week's episode we talk about our role in choosing not only who is in our lives, but how much access they have to us. I share my own framework for choosing people to do life with as a means to encourage others to understand their own relational needs.

I mentioned a sermon from Pastor Travis Greene of Forward City Church that references what it means to have "diggers" in your life. Diggers are the people that will get down and dirty with you, the ones that will fight, work, push forward alongside you.

I highlighted some characteristics consistent in the people I've determined are part of my tribe:
- Openness & Authenticity
- Alignment
- Commitment

For a more in depth understanding and breakdown of these qualities, tune into this week's episode :)

In this week's episode we speak to both sides of pride (the good and the bad) and what it means to live a life of authentic humility.

Pride is on a spectrum, there's healthy pride like self-respect, and there's unhealthy pride like arrogance. I don't know about you, but often when I hear people speak about pride, the negative side is the one being highlighted and I want to challenge that narrative. 

Can we really have humility without pride?