The Relationship Maze

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The Relationship Maze episodes

August 30, 2021Social anxiety, dating and relationships
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Social anxiety can be a problem for most people at some point in their lives.When it comes to dating, social anxiety can be the biggest hurdle to overcome when you are trying to find a relationship. Social anxiety makes even creating a dating profile, let alone meeting someone nerve wracking.In relationships, social anxiety can cause problems when one person finds social situations awkward and can disrupt an otherwise good relationship. So in this episode we are exploring social anxiety and some ways to help solve it.

Social anxiety can be one of the biggest problems for anyone wanting to find or develop a fulfilling relationship. Dating and relationships involve interacting with other people, so feeling more comfortable in social situations is crucial.

In this episode I am talking about 2 different ways that anxiety is created - via the cortex or via the amygdala, and what this means to dealing with anxiety.

Some ways discussed to help with social anxiety include ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) and mindfulness.

We are constantly adding more and more resources on our website The Relationship Maze - head over there now and find new ways to help you improve your relationships.

FREE 10 day Relationship Challenge
Attachment Style quiz
Articles on relationships
Our comprehensive Relationship Course for
new or established couples
couples in conflict
couples preparing for marriage
couples who want to strengthen their relationship
singles who want to prepare for a long lasting relationship and find the right partner

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.
26 min
August 23, 2021What the Greeks can teach us about relationships - seven types of love
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In this episode, we are exploring the seven different concepts of love described by the ancient Greeks. We often think about love in the context of romance, but there are many types of love including the love you have for a friend or family member, love in the sense of loyalty, passionate love and self love.The seven terms for love used by the ancient Greeks can help us gain deeper insight into love and relationships and explore areas to develop to experience richer love and relationships in our lives.

The 7 concepts the ancient Greeks used for love can give us a fascinating insight into our own relationships and how to develop more love in our lives. They are:

Eros: romantic, passionate love.
Philia: intimate, authentic friendship.
Ludus: playful, flirtatious love.
Storge: unconditional, familial love.
Philautia: self-love.
Pragma: committed, companionate love.
Agápe: empathetic, universal love.

We explore relationships in more detail in our comprehensive, online course The Relationship Maze, where you learn all there is to learn about relationships.

We regularly add new resources including the following:

FREE 10 day Relationship Challenge
Attachment Style quiz
Articles on relationships
Our comprehensive Relationship Course for
new or established couples
couples in conflict
couples preparing for marriage
couples who want to strengthen their relationship
singles who want to prepare for a long lasting relationship and find the right partner
Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.
33 min
August 17, 2021 The mind, nutrition & weight loss - talk with Lowri Turner
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In this episode, I'm talking with Lowri Turner. If you have ever tried to lose weight, or been on crash diets and ended up putting on more weight than before, then this episode will help you understand about effective and long lasting ways to sustain weight loss.Weight loss is difficult or impossible to maintain purely through restrictive dieting. Having a balanced approach combining proper nutrition and also working with the mind to find strategies and approaches to change our relationship with food is essential for long term results.Lowri turner is a nutritionist and hypnotherapist who specialises in weight loss. Tune in for a fascinating exploration about achieving the weight loss you want.
Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.
22 min
August 09, 2021 Truly, madly, deeply - The four stages of relationships
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In today's episode Angela talks about the different stages that romantic relationships go through. Relationships change over time and each stage of the relationship offers developmental opportunities. Can you identify where you currently are? Or can you work out which stage you usually get to in your relationships?

While each relationship is different there are usually distinct stages that couple relationships go through. This process is not necessarily linear and frequently one partner may be in a different stage of the relationship than the other.

In this episode Angela explains what each stage of the relationship looks like, the challenges that you may be presented with and the developmental tasks of each stage.

In summary the four stages discussed are
1. The Spark - the honey moon phase. At this stage partners usually think of each other as wonderful, gorgeous and delightful. You two are one and the rest of the world is seen through rose tinted glasses.
2. The Chasm - reality check sets in. You notice that your partner may not be quite so perfect as previously thought. After all they don't wash the dishes as often as you want to...
3. The Power Struggle- trouble in paradise. Your individual difference are more pronounced and you realise that you may have different expectations of each other and the relationship. This is the make-or-break stage of the relationship and the stage at which most couples present in couples therapy.
4. The Union - maturity in the relationship. At this stage you feel safe and secure with your partner. There is interdependence as well as independence in the relationship.

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.
19 min
August 02, 2021 Love and intimate relationships - an interview with Dr Nash Popovic
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In this episode our guest is Dr Nash Popovic, who will be discussing love and relationships.Dr Nash Popovic is a Senior Lecturer in the School of Psychology at the University of East London. He is also the author of Personal Synthesis, arguably the most comprehensive personal development source on the web. You can find there how to deal with emotions, how to make sound decisions and motivate yourself and others, the best ways of increasing resilience and, of course, how to have good close relationships. In today's talk on this topic, Nash will be drawing from the Personal Synthesis materials as well as from decades of research and experience as a Personal Consultant and Couples Therapist.
Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.
50 min
July 26, 2021 Being more assertive - how to express what you think and feel in a safe way
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There is often confusion in people's mind about what it means to be assertive; often there is an underlying assumption that assertiveness equals aggressiveness. In today's episode we define what we mean by being assertive: expressing your rights, feelings and thoughts without violating the rights of others.We can all be assertive in some situations and less so in others. Our ability to disagree openly depends on our sense of safety. If I feel safe, I can express myself more readily. In this episode we look at your underlying concerns and assumptions about saying what you need to say: where did these come from and how do these impact on your life today?We discuss how you can slowly work on becoming more assertive. This practice involves developing different ways of thinking as well as using your body to experience yourself as safer and more secure in situations that you experience as challenging.
Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.
22 min
July 19, 2021 Essential skills for healthy relationships - how to create and maintain long lasting love
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In today's episode we consider the skills that are needed to develop long lasting, fulfilling relationships. When people are asked about their wishes for a good relationship they usually talk about being supported, loved and feeling content and happy. However, often it is not clear what skills are required to create these fulfilling relationships. We are not taught in school how to go about creating strong relationships. We are taught in fairy tales that a prince or princess arrives and everything is hunky dory. But what happens next once you've got your prince or princess?In this episode we talk about the skills that we have identified as crucial for successful relationships: - Self-awareness: generating insight into understanding what makes you think, feel and behave in a particular way and why- Empathy: understanding your partner and their way of thinking, feeling and behaving. What makes your partner tick and why?-Mutuality: understanding how you impact on each other and why. Learning how to communicate more effectively with each other and to be present for each other- Sustainability: developing more capacity for intimacy and vulnerability. Learning to grow and develop together as a couple
Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.
28 min
July 12, 2021 Being a people pleaser: why we do it and how to change it
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Are you always concerned about getting it right for other people, frequently to the detriment of yourself? In today's episode we look at the signs that show you that your driver in life and in relationships might be to please others.We discuss the underlying thinking of a people-pleaser and the root causes that get people into the idea that they need to please all the time. People-pleasers are usually parent-pleasers; we learn how to interact with others initially when growing up in our family of origin. In this episode we briefly talk about the the link between an anxious attachment style and the need to be 'good' with others at all times. While it may be pleasant for people around you that you always try to please them, there are also some draw backs that are experienced by the people at the receiving end of being pleased and appeased. Your people pleasing may affect your friends and partners in ways that were unintentional.How can you change your behaviour? How can you move from the idea of 'having to' please others to 'wanting to' please? We discuss how you can move in the direction of building more authentic and balanced relationships with others.
Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.
20 min
July 05, 2021 Stress & Anxiety: Resistance is futile - ACT now
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In today's episode Tom explains what insights we can gain from Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), in particular when it comes to stress and anxiety. Unlike other therapies where the focus is on regulating difficult emotions, ACT is not concerned with telling us how we can manage these feelings better but with allowing for these feelings to be present. Rather than trying to get rid of the feeling as soon as possible, we learn to allow to be with it. Many people spend a lot of time trying to 'deal' with stress and anxiety. We might get caught up in a cycle of trying to avoid difficult situations, or trying to 'lessen' feelings of anxiety. As a result, we spend our time and energy trying to regulate difficult emotions and get distracted from the things that are really important to us.Positive and negative emotions are a part of life, and with ACT we learn how to experience the full spectrum of emotions whilst heading towards the things that are most important to us.
Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.
25 min
June 28, 2021 Under more pressure - stress and connecting with others
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Following our last podcast episode which has been exceedingly popular, we decided to delve further into stress and the polyvagal system. The focus of our session today in on connection with other people. When we are feeling stressed we struggle with being close to other people. Being connected to others on the other hand can help us with managing stress. Polyvagal Theory offers us a good overview of the three different states that our nervous system can be in: we can feel connected others and feel safe; we can feel threatened and fight back or avoid a situation by running away from it or we can be completely overwhelmed and shut down, playing dead so to speak.Other people can help us to co-regulate our emotions, in other words, if I am feeling stressed a friend, partner or colleague can help me to manage my feelings around being stressed better. People who are very isolated often struggle with regulating their emotions because they can't co-regulate with others. Often this goes hand in hand with being in a state of frozenness, helplessness and low self-esteem. The signals that are sent out to others often sadly indicate that this person does not seek connection.Some people manage stress much better than others. What is their secret? We explore how you can manage stress in a way that helps you to calm your nervous system and to be able to build connection with others.
Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
Tom's website
Angela's website

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.
27 min

About The Relationship Maze

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Relationship advice and exploration. Two experienced and passionate relationship therapists, Angela Dierks and Tom MacKay, talk about all aspects to do with building fulfilling relationships, dating…

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The Relationship Maze

The Relationship Maze episodes

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