57 episodes. Identity, love, friendship, philosophy, grief, reinvention, quitting, starting over, loneliness, ambition — and everything in between. This week we're picking up right where we left off.

Consider this your orientation to The Sage Sorority, part two. We're covering episodes 26 through 55 — the second chapter of the show, where things got sharper, deeper, and a little more daring. Whether you're brand new here and need a map, or you've been listening since the beginning and need a reminder of everything you already know, this one is for you.

We cover identity and self-concept, dating and love, friendship and sisterhood, philosophy and mindset — and close with a full TSS prescription so you know exactly where to go based on what you're navigating right now.

episodes mentioned:

Ep. 032 — How to Be More Interesting, Pt. 1

Ep. 033 — The Art of Charm: Storytelling, Niche Interests and Presence

Ep. 034 — Autumn Energy: The Great Lock-In (Pt. 1)

Ep. 035 — Autumn Energy Pt. 2: The Social Season

Ep. 036 — Autumn Energy Pt. 3: Harvest What You Planted

Ep. 037 — Autumn Energy Pt. 4: The Woman You're Becoming

Ep. 038 — Autumn Energy Pt. 5: The Rebrand Era

Ep. 040 — Why Philosophy Still Matters (Especially for Women)

Ep. 041 — Attraction vs Compatibility vs Capacity

Ep. 042 — 7 Years in London

Ep. 044 — The Sisterhood Chronicles Pt. 4: Why Adult Friendships (Can) Feel Draining

Ep. 045 — 3 Patterns I'm Noticing in Women's Dating and Friendships Right Now

Ep. 048 — It's Quitter's Day, So Here's Your Permission Slip

Ep. 049 — The Only Dating Advice You Need

Ep. 051 — Why "Putting Yourself Out There" Isn't Working (And What to Do Instead)

Ep. 054 — Stop Waiting. You're Already Her

Ep. 055 — How to Be More Interesting, Pt. 2

books + people mentioned:

Matthew Dicks — Storyworthy (homework for life practice)

Esther Perel — on anxiety vs attraction, and the pull of the familiar

Seth Godin — The Dip (strategic quitting vs giving up)

Maya Angelou — on knowing where you've been before you know where you're going

James Baldwin — "not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced"

Dr. Shelley Taylor (UCLA) — tend and befriend research on female friendship

Ann Friedman and Aminatou Sow — Big Friendship

Katherine May — Wintering

stay connected: Follow on Instagram for updates during the production break → https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/ Submit your anonymous questions for a future AMA → [https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority] Subscribe on Substack → https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority

We're taking a three-week production break after this episode.

Episode 058 drops Thursday, April 9th.

See you then. 🤍

If someone just sent you this episode, welcome. You landed in exactly the right place. This is The Sage Sorority - the podcast that feels less like advice from above and more like the group chat with your most thoughtful friend. Sharp, warm, honest, and always talking to your intelligence, never over it.

In this episode, Shantel takes you back through the first 25 episodes of the show (!!!) Not as a sentimental look back, but as a practical roadmap. Whether you're brand new and don't know where to start, or you've been here since episode one and could use a reminder of how much ground you've already covered, this episode is your guide.

We revisit the identity episodes that hit differently (episodes 5, 11, 12, and 19), the dating episodes that cut through the noise without handing you a rulebook (episodes 3, 7, and 17), and the friendship episodes that consistently generate the most DMs — because friendship grief, friendship confusion, and friendship loneliness are real, and women deserve more language for all of it (episodes 6, 10, 23, and 25).

Shantel also shares exactly which episodes to go to depending on what you're navigating right now! Whether that's rebuilding after a hard season, questioning a relationship, feeling lonely in a way you can't quite explain, or just sensing that the version of you everyone expects has quietly become a bad fit.

--

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Looking for the foundations? Start with episode 33, How to Be More Interesting Part 1. BTW, consider this the definitive version of episode 033 (!!!) also, I kept saying episode 054, lol sorry! This is episode 055!

Most of us are living interesting lives and telling them in the most boring way possible. Part two of one of The Sage Sorority's most popular episodes ever is finally here, and this one is about expression. How do you take everything you've built internally and actually let it land in conversation, on a date, in a work meeting, at a dinner party?

In this episode, Shantel breaks down the art of storytelling, what genuine curiosity actually looks like in practice, and the specific habits that make a woman truly magnetic in any room.

In this episode:

1. Why most women are living interesting lives but narrating them in an uninteresting way, and how to fix it
2. The anatomy of a good story: the "so what" test, the power of specificity, and the difference between recounting something and actually telling it
3. Matthew Dicks, record Moth StorySLAM champion and author of Storyworthy, and his philosophy of the five-second moment
4. Brené Brown on why specificity and imperfection are what make stories land, not polish
5. Curiosity as a competitive edge: why breadth beats performance and how to find your genuine pocket of depth
6. The science of presence: why full, unhurried attention is one of the most magnetic things a woman can offer in 2026
7. What interesting women don't do: overexplaining, one-upping, performing curiosity, shrinking opinions to seem agreeable
8. Why mystery is criminally underrated in the era of "spend the day with me" content

ICYMI: EPISODE 032 - how to be more interesting, pt.1 (https://open.spotify.com/episode/3IETywtviU47Hx0TfIi0t6?si=8X3KEMldT4Wae50UM_p5Uw)

Storyworthy: Engage, Teach, Persuade, and Change Your Life through the Power of Storytelling - https://go.shopmy.us/p-44654010

Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People - https://go.shopmy.us/p-44654099

The Power of Vulnerability | Brené Brown - https://youtu.be/iCvmsMzlF7o?si=2qzjpZVrF4dekH_F

Vanessa Van Edwards (Science of People) | TED - https://www.scienceofpeople.com/ted/

Julian Treasure (How to speak so that people want to listen) | TED - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIho2S0ZahI

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A few weeks ago I was at a workshop and someone gave me the most annoyingly simple piece of advice I'd ever heard. I asked a published author and paid speaker how to become a published author and paid speaker. She said: speak and write. That's it.

I laughed, because I knew she was right. And because I'd been doing both for ten years and still waiting for someone to make it official.

This episode is about the version of yourself you keep putting off. The woman you're waiting to become when you're thinner, more ready, more settled, more certain. She's not coming to rescue you, because you're already her. You just have to decide to be.

We get into the difference between performance and embodiment, why fake it till you make it gets a much worse reputation than it deserves, how the words we speak to ourselves become the house we live in, and four practical ways to actually stop waiting and start claiming. Oh, and it's the Year of the Fire Horse. This is the year to run.

--

want to book a coaching session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue

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have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority

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SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority

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subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘

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THE SAGE SORORITY PODCAST - https://feeds.captivate.fm/thesagesorority/

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catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel

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———

Join us IRL: The Gathering — Wine, Women & Conversation Thursday, March 5th | 6pm | London 🎟️ [https://luma.com/w6fxpy9w]

One year of The Sage Sorority (!!!) 🤍 In this episode, we're unpacking the "high standards" discourse - when your standards are protecting you, and when they might actually be fear in disguise. We're talking attraction, compatibility, capacity, and the questions you need to ask yourself before you write someone off.

In this episode:

1. The difference between protecting your peace and controlling outcomes
2. Why attachment styles can masquerade as "standards"
3. 5 questions to ask yourself when evaluating someone (or your own patterns)
4. The one question that changes everything

Mentioned:

1. The All-or-Nothing Marriage by Eli Finkel
2. Attached by Amir Levine
3. Episode 041: Attraction vs Compatibility vs Capacity

--

want to book a coaching session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue

want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - [email protected]

have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority

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SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority

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subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘

youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO

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catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel

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———

We use "jealousy" as a catch-all for anything that feels gross and competitive. But envy and jealousy are actually two completely different experiences. One is giving you useful information about what you want. The other? That's fear wearing a really convincing disguise. Today we're unpacking both, how they show up in friendships (the part nobody talks about), and what to actually do when you feel them.

In This Episode:

→ The actual difference between envy and jealousy (and why language matters)

→ Envy is information. Jealousy is protection.

→ How both show up in friendships: promotions, new friends, weddings, glow ups

→ The Cool Girl monologue and friendship performance

→ Amadeus, Othello, Gone Girl

→ What social media has done to both emotions

→ What to do when you feel either one

Referenced Episodes:

Episode 49: The Only Dating Advice You Need Episode 45: 3 Patterns I'm Noticing in Women's Dating & Friendships Right Now Episode 25: The Friendship Audit

want to book a coaching session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue

want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - [email protected]

have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority

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SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority

INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/

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subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘

youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO

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catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel

instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/

tiktok// https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau

youtube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline

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———

Keywords/Tags:

envy vs jealousy, difference between envy and jealousy, friendship jealousy, jealousy in friendships, green eyed monster, cool girl monologue, gone girl, female friendships, women in their 30s, modern womanhood, social media comparison

You've been doing everything right—the apps, the events, saying yes to every invite—and you're exhausted. What if the advice to "put yourself out there" is actually making things worse?

This week we're talking about the difference between being available and being magnetic, why effort and outcome aren't always correlated in relationships, and when strategic retreat might be the smarter move for your dating life and your friendships.

We're also covering: when you actually should be putting yourself out there, how to know if you're strategically retreating or just avoiding, and what it looks like to let yourself be found instead of constantly seeking.

In this episode:

1. Why "putting yourself out there" has become a moral imperative (and why that's a problem)
2. The difference between depletion disguised as action and genuine effort
3. How to know when you're performing availability instead of cultivating magnetism
4. A permission slip to pause the apps, the coffee dates, and the networking events
5. What it means to exist fully in your actual life

--

want to book a coaching session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue

want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - [email protected]

have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority

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SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority

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subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘

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catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel

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Welcome back to The Sage Sorority. Episode 050 (WOW!) is an Ask a Sage: an AMA-style episode where I answer your anonymous questions (link down below for submission).

The questions that came through this time weren't really asking what to do. They were asking how to know. How to read people. How to tell if what you're seeing is the real thing.

In this episode, we're covering:

→ How do you tell the difference between being private and being emotionally closed off?

→ Love or money and why it's a false binary

→ When you haven't spoken to someone in a while, do you delete the chat history?

If you've ever wondered whether you're being perceptive or paranoid, this one's for you.

Find me on Instagram @thesagesorority and TikTok @shantelrousseau. Don't forget to rate and share the podcast, it's how we grow the show.

--

want to book a coaching session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue

want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - [email protected]

have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority

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SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority

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subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘

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catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel

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Episode 049: The Only Dating Advice You Need

January is the busiest month for dating apps and also the peak month for breakups. So before you swipe, I want to give you the one piece of advice I think actually matters.

My theory? The only dating advice a woman really needs is knowing when to walk away. That's it. Everything else stems from that.

In this episode, I'm talking about why women are conditioned to stay, analyse, and build cases for men who aren't showing up and what it costs us when we do. We get into what walking away actually looks like (it's not dramatic), why we fall for potential instead of reality, and how discernment is the real flex in dating.

This one's for the girls in their dating era and honestly, for the ones in relationships too.

If this episode resonated, share it with a friend who needs to hear it. And don't forget to rate the podcast on Apple or Spotify; it really helps the show grow. Love you lots xx

want to book a coaching session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue

want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - [email protected]

have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority

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SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority

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subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘

💘

catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel

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youtube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline

OUTFITS - ShopMy// https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau

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Tomorrow is Quitter's Day y'all! The second Friday of January when 80% of people abandon their New Year's resolutions (crazy!) ...and while the internet is gearing up to tell you to push through, I'm offering a different perspective. What if those resolutions were never yours to begin with? What if the most aligned thing you can do this year is quit the goals that don't actually belong to you?

Today we're unpacking where your resolutions are really coming from (you or Instagram?), the difference between hard and wrong, the art of the strategic quit, and why I'm swapping resolutions for intentions in 2026. Plus, I'm sharing the real story of how I walked away from my Pilates instructor training, money on the line and all and why that quit was one of the best decisions I've made.

If you're a woman in your 30s or 40s already feeling drained by your goals and it's only week two, this one's for you.

--

want to book a coaching session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue

want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - [email protected]

have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority

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SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority

INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/

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subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘

youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO

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💘

catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel

instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/

tiktok// https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau

youtube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline

OUTFITS - ShopMy// https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau

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