Teaching Your Kids About Money From Focus On The Family

Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Building A Case For Teaching Children About Money

· As a matter of fact, a recent Consumer Reports survey revealed that 28 percent of students did not know that credit cards are a form of borrowing. 40 percent did not know that banks charge interest on loans.

· Advertisers and credit card companies are targeting children and teens.

80 percent of parents assume that schools are providing classes on money management and budgeting.

· 63 percent of older teenagers – kids who are notorious for knowing it all and not listening to their parents – say that they get most of their information on money matters from mom and dad.

· Financial support for churches and ministries is dropping – and is likely to be even weaker in the future. The younger generations simply aren’t getting the message that giving matters.

How to Teach Pre-Schoolers and Kindergartners About Money From Dave Ramsey

1. Use a clear jar to save.

The piggy bank is a great idea, but it doesn’t give kids a visual. When you use a clear jar, they see the money growing. Yesterday, they had a dollar bill and five dimes. Today, they have a dollar bill, five dimes, and a quarter! Talk through this with them and make a big deal about it growing!

2. Set an example.

A study by the University of Cambridge found that money habits in children are formed by the time they’re 7 years old.(1) Little eyes are watching you. If you’re slapping down plastic every time you go out to dinner or the grocery store, they’ll eventually notice. Or if you and your spouse are arguing about money, they’ll notice that too. Set a healthy example for them and they’ll be much more likely to follow it when they get older.

3. Show them that stuff costs money.

You’ve got to do more than just say, “That pack of toy cars costs $5, son.” Help them grab a few dollars out of their jar, take it with them to the store, and physically hand the money to the cashier. This simple action will have more impact than a five-minute lecture.

How to Teach Elementary Students and Middle Schoolers About Money
4. Show opportunity cost.

That’s just another way of saying, “If you buy this video game, then you won’t have the money to buy that pair of shoes.” At this age, your kids should be able to weigh decisions and understand the possible outcomes.

5. Give commissions, not allowances.

Don’t just give your kids money for breathing. Pay them commissions based on chores they do around the house like taking out the trash, cleaning their room, or mowing the grass. Dave and his daughter Rachel Cruze talk a lot about this system in their book, Smart Money Smart Kids. This concept helps your kids understand that money is earned—it’s not just given to them.

6. Avoid impulse buys.

“Mom, I just found this cute dress. It’s perfect and I love it! Can we buy it please?” Does this sound familiar? This age group really knows how to capitalize on the imp

To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at [email protected], or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com

The Session Helping Children Grieve, A Look At Research  

How grief affects a child?

 Children who are having serious problems with grief and loss may show one or more of these signs: an extended period of depression in which the child loses interest in daily activities and events. inability to sleep, loss of appetite, prolonged fear of being alone. acting much younger for an extended period. (Reverts to a safe time in their lives)

What to do:

1.    Use simple words to talk about death. ...

2.    Listen and comfort. ...

3.    Put feelings into words. ...

4.    Tell your child what to expect. ...

5.    Explain events that will happen. ...

6.    Give your child a role. ...

7.    Help your child remember the person.

How long does grief last in children? 

The initial severe and intense grief you feel will not be continuous. Periods of intense grief often come and go over 18 months or longer. Over time, your grief may come in waves that are gradually less intense and less frequent. But you will likely always have some feelings of sadness and loss.

What Not to Say to a Grieving Child

· I know just how you feel. You can't. ...

· You must be incredibly angry/sad/frightened/confused. It's more useful to ask children how they are feeling than to tell them.

· At least you had the holidays together before she died.

How grief affects a child?

 Children who are having serious problems with grief and loss may show one or more of these signs: an extended period of depression in which the child loses interest in daily activities and events. inability to sleep, loss of appetite, prolonged fear of being alone. acting much younger for an extended period.

 Some appropriate sentiments are listed below.

· “Sometimes we feel like it's our fault when someone dies, but it's not.”

· “It's hard to imagine someone we love has died.”

· “I am so sorry your friend/parent/sibling died. I know you will miss him/her.”

· “When someone dies, it's OK to talk about how you feel

Focus on the Family

Kids need to see the grief process modeled for them. Licensed family therapist Yolanda Brown says, “The healthiest choice parents can make is to engage in the reality of their own loss.”

At the funeral, Ted and I sought to model healthy grief by allowing ourselves to cry in our children’s presence. We also talked openly about our feelings with our kids. “It’s sad that Grandpa died, isn’t it?” we said. “We’re really going to miss him.” 

Author Kathleen Fucci says this is what kids need the most as they grieve. “Our job is to turn the hearts of our grief-stricken kids back to Jesus. Only He can mend their broken spirits,” she explains. “Our faith in the Lord’s willingness and ability to heal their broken hearts will be evident to them in the way we talk about Jesus, pray to Him, praise Him, read His Word, and shower our kids with His loving words and eternal promises.”

Instead of shouldering the burden of making everything “OK” for our little ones, we pointed them to their heavenly Father, the source of true comfort and peace. 

To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at [email protected], or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com

Learning Styles 

Romans 15:4

“For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.”

Innovative

· This group would prefer discovering meaning.

· They want to listen and share ideas

· Enjoy Small group discussion

· They are divergent thinkers who believe in their own experience, excel in viewing concrete situations from many perspectives,

· They are not very creative however, if it’s a group project they could be more interested

Analytic Learners

· Driven by facts

· Interested in what the experts say

· They are more interested in Ideas and concepts than people

· These are the people who love the traditional classroom. Straight lecture suits them well, as long as the lecturer is qualified.

· Math and Science are their strengths

· To best teach the analytic learners, I've found I need to give them details, lists, technical information, and quotes from "the experts.

· They tend to break out in a cold sweat when art, drama or small group discussions take place

Common-Sense Learners

· These folks are hands-on experiential learners.

· They have to experience it or try to learn it

· These folks are your engineers, nurses, technicians and scientists

Dynamic Learners

· People like this often seek careers in sales, action-oriented managerial positions, and marketing.

· They want to change the environment and then study whether or not that was a good idea or not.

To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at [email protected], or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com

CHRISTIAN POST CHURCH & MINISTRIES | WEDNESDAY, MAY 04, 2022

More pastors say they have considered quitting, cite stress, loneliness and politics: study

Driven to despair by stress, loneliness, political divisions and other worries like their church being in decline, more pastors now say they considered quitting their jobs compared to a year ago, new data released by the Barna Group show.

The research draws on data collected in surveys conducted in January 2021 and March 2022 that show the share of pastors who have given serious consideration to quitting being in full-time ministry within the last year, increasing from 29% in 2021 to 42% in March of this year.

Data collected for the 2021 study was collected online from 413 Protestant senior pastors from Jan. 22­–27, 2021. While the data collected from March 10–16, came from an online survey of 510 Protestant senior pastors.

More than half of pastors, 56%, who considered quitting full-time ministry in the last year, said, “the immense stress of the job” was a huge factor behind their thinking. Beyond these general stressors, two in five pastors, 43%, report that “I feel lonely and isolated,” while some 38% say “current political divisions” made them think about calling it quits at the pulpit.

An equal 29% share of pastors also said they felt like quitting because they weren’t optimistic about the future of their church; they were unhappy with the impact the job had on their family or they had a vision for the church that was in conflict with where the church wanted to go. Another 24% of pastors say they considered quitting because their church is steadily declining.

While pastors who have not considered quitting experience some of the same challenges highlighted by those who have considered it, the research shows that the difference maker for them is their mindset to ministry.

Some 83% said they did not consider quitting because they believe in the value of their ministry; 75% say they have a duty to stay and fulfill their calling to ministry, and 73% say they are satisfied with their job. A majority of pastors who have not considered quitting also cite strong family and community support and confidence in their ability as leaders.

The March measure of discontent among pastors also reflects a steady increase in the share of pastors who reported last October that they were “seriously considering” leaving full-time ministry as they struggle with their overall well-being amid the COVID-19 pandemic. Nearly four out of 10 mainline Protestant pastors, or 38% of them, said they were “seriously considering” leaving full-time ministry in October.

Joe Jensen, Barna’s vice president of church engagement, told The Christian Post at the time that the growing number of pastors now looking to leave their full-time positions is cause for alarm.

“This particular stat, this is the highest we’ve ever seen it,” Jensen said, pointing to the burnout he believes many pastors are experiencing in the wake of the pandemic.

“We’ve been tracking this in our State of Pastors report that we did with Pepperdine University in 2016, 2017. We didn’t have this exact stat but we were tracking burnout. [And] pastors were feeling burnout and the risk factors involved,” Jensen said.

He explained at the time that pastors, in general, shy away from counseling and mentoring, but they need to understand that it’s OK to ask for help.

“Pastors traditionally don’t feel comfortable for a number of different reasons to seek out counseling, to seek out mentoring. You know it needs to be OK within a Ch

To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at [email protected], or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com

Ephesians 1:17-18 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people,

Helps for our Adult Children

 Pray for them. Colossians 1:5

· the faith and love that spring from the hope
· Don’t stop praying For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you.

Encourage Them

· Hebrews 10:24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds

Be a Good Role Model

· Proverbs 4:20 -24
"My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words.  Do not let them out of your sight,     keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them     and health to one’s whole body.  Above all else, guard your heart,    for everything you do flows from it.  Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips."

· An incredible 44 percent of the letters received made reference to this failure of older adults to let go. It was as though some of the writers had been waiting for years for that precise question to be asked. Here are a few of their comments:

·        1. "Mother felt my leaving home was an insult to her. She couldn't let go, couldn't realize I needed to become an independent person, couldn't understand that I no longer needed her physical help, although I did need her as a person. Quite unintentionally she retarded my growing up by 35 years."

·        2. "One of the greatest problems is to have my parents see me as an adult, not as a child who doesn't know the best way to do things. As a child, I played a specific role in my family. Now as an adult, I wish to change my role, but they will not allow it."

·        3. "Our parents never seemed able to grasp the reality of the fact that we had grown from dependent children, to capable, responsible adults. They did not recognize or appreciate our abilities, responsibilities or contributions to the outside world."

To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at [email protected], or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com

The Session: The Psychology of Color

Isaiah 1:18   Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.

What is color psychology?

· Color psychology is the study of color’s impact on human behavior. It aims to understand why and how different hues affect our feelings, behavior and decision-making processes.

· Color plays a role in decision making. How did it play a role in your last clothing purchase?

· Would you be more apt to sleep in a room that had soft grays, greens and blues, or bright reds or purple?

· Some color meanings are more universal. For example, we naturally relate warm colors like red, orange and yellow to warmth and sunshine, whereas cool colors like blue, green and purple tend to be calming and refreshing.

· How does your favorite color relate to your personality?

· The Color of the Package influences our decision making Consider, for example, an ice cream brand. You’d imagine their store’s color palette to be playful, full of either pastel or bright and joyful shades. A dark storefront would set a completely different vibe, possibly suggesting elegance and maturity - an unusual choice for an ice cream brand.

· The Color Blue

The reason it’s become so popular amongst corporations could be to do with the fact that blue is generally

seen as reflecting loyalty and stability.  It’s also often connected to feelings of tranquility, harmony and calmness, reminding us of the sea and sky. In fact, as part of their World’s Favorite Color survey, paper manufacturer G.F Smith found dark blue to be the most relaxing color in the world.

· Blue also has another side to it. It is also reflective of depression. Hence the saying “I’m feeling blue.”

· Green

Green is associated with the environment, nature and ecology.  Spotify’s use of a vibrant shade of green suggests that the company is full of life and vitality.  The serenity of the golf course….naturally this is in here….thanks Tom...  ;)

· Yellow

Yellow is a color that grabs your attention right away. a smart choice for warning signs, reflective vests,

ambulances. Yellow is also very much associated with optimism, sunshine and warmth. Emojis are yellow. It’s

also used in branding to suggest a fun, happy vibe, for example in Burger King’s logo or McDonald’s’ famous

Golden Arches.

Red

It holds strong connotations to love, desire and seduction, while on the other hand also being associated with feelings of danger, anger and violence. It also evokes a sense of energy and instantly grabs attention, thanks to its high visibility. This makes it an appropriate color for warning signals like stop signs and fire engines.

To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at [email protected], or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com

The Session: Independence’s Impact on Mental Health

Scripture:John 15:26 When the Advocate comes, whom I will send to you from the Father the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father—he will testify about me.

· Locus of Control

· The internal locus of control is when we have a say in our decision making that impacts our relationship.

· The external locus of control is when the decision making is not ours to make. Someone else is making decisions in our lives.

It can lead to depression (Discuss)

It can lead to anxiety “

It can create the compliant child “

· (From The Experimental Theology Blog) In summary, when life gets difficult it helps to have an internal locus of control. You'll be active and engaged in fighting back. By contrast, an external locus of control--waiting for Powerful Others to fix it or feeling set upon by the gods--will keep you passive and inactive.

· The Holy Spirit

· II Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

· Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit

to him,and he will make your paths straight.

To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at [email protected], or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com

Isaiah 41:10

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

What is PTSD?

Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a psychiatric disorder that may occur in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event such as a natural disaster, a serious accident, a terrorist act, war/combat, or rape or who have been threatened with death, sexual violence or serious injury.

What does PTSD do to a person?

People with PTSD have intense, disturbing thoughts and feelings related to their experience that last long after the traumatic event has ended. They may relive the event through flashbacks or nightmares; they may feel sadness, fear or anger; and they may feel detached or estranged from other people.

A life threatening event. This includes a perceived-to-be life threatening event. ...

• Internal reminders of a traumatic event. These signs of trauma typically present as nightmares or flashbacks. ...internal movie
• Avoidance of external reminders. ...4th of July
• Altered anxiety state. ...

PTSD can leave people feeling on edge and looking out for danger (hypervigilance). Really, what it boils down to is that people feel more

anxious.

• Changes in mood or thinking.

Isolation leads to depression

According to the National Center for PTSD, posttraumatic stress disorder, about 8 million Americans have PTSD during any given year. While the signs of PTSD in women don't differ greatly from signs of PTSD in men,

CBT and Prolonged Exposure Therapy are helpful

What is Prolonged Exposure Therapy?

Prolonged exposure is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) which helps people with trauma (posttraumatic stress disorder) process single or multiple traumas or continuous trauma and reduce symptoms. The technique is also useful for decreasing depression, anger, and general anxiety.

With prolonged exposure, patients learn:

• About common reactions to trauma and possible causes of your difficulties (psychoeducation)
• To re-visit or re-tell the traumatic memory (imaginal exposure)
• To gradually approach trauma reminders, such as feared situations or objects patients avoid, despite being safe. 

Patients manage the pace of their treatment and gradually take the steps they're ready to make. Many people who participate in prolonged exposure treatment show significant symptom reduction.

To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at [email protected], or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com

Ways to Honor Your Deceased Dad
Psalm 116:15: "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints."  Understand...in God's eyes, YOU ARE PRECIOUS!

9 Things you can do to honor dad even after he's passed away:
* Create a memorial website/social media page
* Write him a letter.  The earlier, the better.  It's an aid in the grieving process.
*Make a memory quilt.  The funeral home might be able to help, or you might have some gifted grandmothers and aunts.  Scott's mom made 3 memory quilts out of his dads t-shirts from all of the 5K's and other events he ran in.
*Dedicate an event to them.  Like the Tom Russell Memorial Golf Outing
*Make a donation to an organization important to dad.  
*Plant a tree or garden.  Tom & Scott have both had trees given to remember Scott's dad & Tom's father-in-law.
*Save them a seat.  At Thanksgiving dinner, or at the wedding.  Set a place for them, honor their memory by serving their favorite food, or watching their favorite show.  When Scott's grandma passed away, the family got together & watched home movies.
*Live life to the fullest.  
*Create a tradition.  What are we leaving for the next generation?  It's at the heart of Heritage Christian Counseling Ministries.

What are memories that you have of your parenting days?

What do you want your children to remember about your parenting of them?

To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at [email protected], or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com

THE GIFT OF RESPECT ON FATHER’S DAY

Erin Smalley

Deuteronomy 5:16

“‘Honor your father and your mother, as the Lordyour God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

Intentional Respect

• Being intentional about respect is to focus on ways a wife can respect her husband.
• It includes the vertical expectation where a wife calls on God in heaven to help her find new ways and the strength to respect him.

Practical Respect

• The Oxford dictionary defines respect as: “A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities or achievement.
• keep a list of character qualities, abilities and achievement
• Every day be on the lookout for one thing in your husband’s behavior for which you can praise him
• If you look for praiseworthy behavior, you will find it
• (This is huge) Offer your husband words of encouragement and affirmation — maybe even at the dinner table in front of your children. Consider inviting your children to share as well.
• Always talk positively about your husband. Tell them how much you appreciate their dad.
• When you blow it by speaking to your husband in dishonoring ways, simply “clean it up.” Acknowledge that you were wrong and ask your husband to forgive you.
• Respect is unconditional

To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at [email protected], or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com