Deathly Hallows chapter 14. It's the beginning of the god damn camping sequence, but that's okay: we've got a rowdy news segment and a pepe-silvia conspiracy to weave about the original chapter order of this book to spice things up! Plus, our continued adventures on Reddit as we shore up our karma stocks as we prepare to select a House to apply to.

UPDATE! Thank you to listener Brynn who sent in a correction for the Moody eye situation. Harry explicitly grabs the eye out of the door and leaves a hole behind *before* entering the office, not after. We were going nuts trying to find any reference to it as he left the room!

P.S i still think the book was meant to be read out of order hee hee

Deathly Hallows chapter 13. We're back from our week off, which was in no way timed to coincide with a certain author's superyacht cruise! We discuss Jo's pilgrimage to the infinite money trousers (maskless, natch) and a few bits and pieces we missed last week before completing the Ministry Heist we left off in the middle of last episode. Hermione performs the Oblivion item duping glitch, Harry smokes A Long, and Ron manages to get through half of Who's On First with his fake wife in the middle of a daring action movie escape. Finally, we continue Jack Sloper's reddit adventures, and earn some nice karma to boot.

Episode 124: KD/A With a break in the news cycle, we take a look at Funko pops and imagine a world where GRRM and JKR swapped places. Then we examine 'Magic is Might', a chapter that turns book 7 into a heist movie all of a sudden, simultaneously becoming the most entertaining and most baffling chapter so far. We even have a conspiracy theory to share about its origins... finally, we don our own heist disguises and begin casing the joint (reddit) in our quest to get into one of the house subreddits!

Deathly Hallows chapter 11. We discuss expensive Zoom calls and the mysteries of faith, and then pick apart our relatively complex feelings on a chapter that has some of the best moments of the book so far, but also some of the worst. Finally, we explore some more old pre-book 7 ending predictions, and discover one so powerful it derails the entire segment.

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Deathly Hallows chapter 10. We predicted TWO things that came true in this week's news segment, which is a spooky way to start a mega-length episode! Cormoran Strike's naming conventions, Muggle posters, spell utility, and, uh, slavery in the Wizarding World are all on the docket this week, along with much much more--including some more classic ending predictions from 2007!

Deathly Hallows chapter 9. We sort through this week's massive pile of news--J.K's garbage tweets, the Harper's letter, the Harry Potter at Home program, and more--before discussing a chapter so bad it threatens to rattle the entire book apart not even a quarter of the way in. Why is there a grenade spell now? Why is Hermione's character now "mom"? Why does Moody think a tongue twister curse would deter Snape, a guy who is canonically one of the best non-verbal spellcasters in the series? How will we, your loyal hosts, recover from having our guts spooked off by Dust Dumbledore? Why isn't Dust Dumbledore the only thing anyone talks about?

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Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Deathly Hallows chapter 8. We catch up with J.K's latest Twitter drama with Stephen King and discuss the feelings of mutiny apparently brewing among the developers of the still-yet-to-actually-be-announced AAA Harry Potter video game. Then we take a trip to a wedding that's just as excruciatingly boring as a Muggle wedding, only some stuff floats I guess. We talk a lot about the meaning of chairs--trust us, it makes sense. Finally, we take another dip into the delightful pre-release book 7 ending predictions, and imagine a better world where this book was good.

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Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Deathly Hallows chapter 7. We speculate who could be called in as a celebrity ringer for the troubled Harry Potter At Home audiobook series and tear into a chapter that has it all. PUA books! Convenient plot dreams! Teen drama! Flesh memories!? This chapter isn't good, but it's certainly interesting. Finally, we take another trip in our time machine to 2007 to read some hilarious ending predictions from an old fansite.

Deathly Hallows chapter 6. We do a little bit of catching up with the fallout of last week's Rowling drama, and speculate on the future of Fantastic Beasts and the beleaguered Harry Potter At Home marketing initiative. Then we rip into another chapter of Deathly Hallows, which is definitely not better than the last few, but it certainly isn't boring! Finally, since we wish this book had been a big hoax, we investigate a theory from a week before the book's release that posited that the leak was actually a fake book written and released to... uh... well... hmm. JK's trick!

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Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Deathly Hallows chapter 5.

We go deep on J.K Rowling's despicable blog posts, the responses to her behavior, and the future of Fantastic Beasts and her other ongoing business ventures. If you don't want to hear a very frank discussion about her transphobia (that also includes ableism, sexual assault, and generally awful behavior) skip to 1:15:24.

Good news, though! The chapter we read this week also sucks, so we get our licks in on the continuing disaster that is book 7 so far.