The Shrieking Shack

Deathly Hallows epilogue. We did it! We've crossed the finish line. While we still have the movie and more to cover, we're officially finished with the 7 books proper. Does the epilogue provide any emotional closure or worthwhile information to round out the rushed final chapter before it, or does it earn its fairly scornful reputation even among die-hard Harry Potter fans? Well, I'll give you a hint: immediately after the book came out JK Rowling started passing new and extra information out like candy in some interviews we read to supplement it. Finally, we do what all great podcasts must do: we rank stuff!

Deathly Hallows chapter 35. This is it. This is the end of Harry Potter proper--sure, we still have to read an epilogue, but this is where the Story Ends! And what an ending it is. For a book this long, it sure sprints to a conclusion, and we're here in this bumper-length episode to do our best to pick up all of the threads it leaves hanging. When did Ron and Hermione stop being characters? Why does Wand Lore matter? Who are the Fallen Fifty? Is that too many or too few dead for a big epic battle? Do the renters of Hogsmeade show up? All this and much, much more, including the exasperating Hogwarts Legacy news. WHOM could have PREDICTED such a tragedy!? (If you don't feel like listening to the news, the chapter discussion begins at 32:00)

Note: this was recorded before the WHOM COULD HAVE FORESEEN news about the game--tune in next week for that one

Deathly Hallows chapter 35. We had an extra week to let this chapter sink in, but did it help? We try to parse the Matrix Revolutions chapter where Harry talks to a Dumbledore ghost inside his head who claims that this is all happening in Harry's imagination yet offers him and the audience a bunch of extremely literal answers with new information, and that's not even the weirdest part of this whole thing! We theorize what this could possibly be trying to say, what actually matters in the New Lore, what answers are missing, and whether or not we'd help a flayed monster creature lying on the ground. Finally, we return to the world of Imagines, and compete in an impromptu guessing game.

Deathly Hallows chapter 35. We check in with what life is like with a Snape Jersey and dish about the latest Fantastic Beasts production mishaps before getting theological (again)! This week's chapter is a fan favorite, full of emotional moments and inspiring quotes about death that you've probably seen on coffee mugs, forum signatures, and tattoos for over a decade. Does it hold up, though? Not in the slightest, but it is accidentally fascinating and full of conflicting ideas and also there's a bit where Hagrid is tied to a tree for some reason. If you don't have a sugar stomachache after hearing us read saccharine descriptions of Harry's brave march to his death, stick around for the third segment where we take some reddit burning questions and spin a few theories of our own. Are our ideas horror? Comedy? You decide!

Deathly Hallows chapter 33. It's here: the prophesied episode has finally arrived. And since we also have some big news to discuss (as well as some personal conspiracy theories about the TV rumors) this episode is another blockbuster length banger! So, how do we actually feel about Snape's big chapter, after all this time? The answer might surprise you--the chapter certainly surprised us. Does that mean it's good? Oh, no. God no. It's very very bad. But it's not what we were prepared for. Plus: a Snape-related Screenrant victory lap, and an exciting surprise that close the book on one of the podcast's longest-running subplots!

Deathly Hallows chapter 32. The Brand has a new hero! We wonder aloud what, if anything, this changing of the guard could mean--and then suit up to drop into the Battle of Hogwarts for another chapter filled to the brim with war movie tropes. Once the flashbang wears off and the sound comes back, it's off to the titular Shrieking Shack for a big speech from Voldemort, a snake floating around in a bubble shield, and the passing of one beloved professor. Finally, we play a game trying to identify Fantastic Beast quotes from a list of Mugglenet's "most memorable" scenes from the film--some of which are Nothing, and some of which are kinda eyebrow raising!

Deathly Hallows chapter 31. With little actual news (except Gamer Anguish) we spend our news segment taking a Fantastic Beasts quiz that really goes places. Then we're off to our chapter, which, while not as completely off the rails and unique as last week's, is still jam packed with stuff to talk about. And I really do mean jam-packed--this is a LONG chapter, so get ready for lots of discussion about Ron's PUA techniques, Harry's newfound ability to make people fall in love with him for no reason, Voldemort's loudspeaker, Resident Evil Hagrid, and tons more. Finally, we visit Screenrant again to learn the power rankings of every (!) Death Eater.

Deathly Hallows chapter 30. We ring in the new year with, no joke, one of the weirdest chapters in the entire series. A few of you warned us about this one (or else gleefully mentioned that something was coming) but nothing could have prepared us for what awaits here: somehow, a chapter even stranger, funnier, and more out of character than any of the previous chapters we've said similar things about. You're not going to want to miss this one: plus, a crash course in... Sonic lore?

We've made it through 2020! Join us on a look back through some of the best moments of the show from this year. Did current events or Harry Potter contribute more psychic damage to us? Listen to us sing unearthed in-universe Christmas songs, debate the definition of big movies, try to understand how calendars work, and much more to decide for yourself! There were so many good clips to choose from and suggestions to work with it was impossible to cram them all into a tight hour, but here are some of the best of the best:

00:00:00--Ding Dong, Ding Dong

00:01:29--Fate

00:06:24--What are you listening to?

00:08:03--Dumbledore in Congress

00:12:41--On Sight

00:17:25--7/10

00:20:17--Sicko Patrol

00:22:57--3.5 Workouts a Week

00:26:39--Fenrir Gervais

00:29:36--awp.wav

00:30:55--Dust Dumbledore

00:36:0-- I Am the Boy

00:39:57--Snape's Cool Voice

00:44:58--Flying Creatures

00:47:29--Big Movies

00:54:13--Azkaban Internship

As always, a huge thank you to all of the listeners out there in Hurtwood House 🦉

Deathly Hallows chapter 29. Just when we thought this book had no surprises left, it hits us with one of the funniest chapters in the series. This one was written for us: it's full of so many things that feel like they were in-jokes written just for us, it's a little spooky. We also learn all about the Incredible Future of the Brand, do a little Christmas candle check-in, and solve a murder most foul!