Cursed Child Part One Act One (first half of)

We're finally here! The play that has loomed over us for the entire run of the podcast is finally in our hands. After years of hearing about the Trolley Witch and reading complaints about Mary Sues... it's time for Cursed Child!

We went very long on this episode, so I've split it into two almost 2 hour episodes. This week we tackle the first quarter or so of the first play (this is technically two plays!), the first half of Act One. There's plenty to discuss here: the history of the play, how much involvement JKR had versus her collaborators, and the unrealistic expectations the publishers and JKR may have set for the fanbase that doomed this play before it ever had a chance... and that's before we get to the play itself, which involves time travel wife theft and bad parenting galore!

This is an audio-only version of this holiday season gaming video for anyone who wants Shriek content but can't watch for whatever reason! Maybe you're at work or somethin'. Enjoy!

It's time to play the legendary game... the awful Deathly Hallows third-person shooter. Remember when PC ports were a total crapshoot? This is from that dark age, so it's capped at 30fps and has strange audio desync issues in cutscenes--but it IS playable! Well, in the functional sense. If you're wondering "how bad can a third person shooter possibly be?" well... well.

NOTE: This is an audio-only version of a let's play! It's not really a podcast; however, on the off chance you want to hear us chat over a game but don't have access to video right now, this is for you!

For the second part of our December extravaganza, we take a look at one of the more well-liked pieces of HP series nostalgia: the tie-in Lego-branded video game! Some of the puzzles for children definitely went over our wizened heads. There's also a bit so bad (like, content-wise, not difficulty-wise) I cut it altogether. Turns out this franchise always had transphobic elements; who knew!?

Anyway, esports gameplay this is not, but what we lack in efficiency we make up for with chats about college drinking habits, trashy manga/anime we consumed as teens, bad teachers, and much much more! A note: we'll talk about it in the episode itself, but this was actually recorded in two sessions a week apart because my internet went out for two days in the middle of our first attempt! If you're wondering why we suddenly restart a gameplay section halfway through, that's why.

What's next, you might ask? Well, I'll give you a hint: it has a cover system...

This is an audio only version! There's a video version available as well, just in case you missed it.

GRINCH VIBES TONIGHT! We're experimenting with occasional video content, and what better way to kick things off than a blind run through our favorite (airquotes) clothing company's Christmas lookbook? Discover the secrets of the Christmas Wizard, hot dog buns, and the perfect holiday heist plan... Plus, Liz has also discovered an exciting new content mine, one that will reveal what Witcher character she really is (according to the company, anyway). What else do we have in store? Tune in next week to find out...

ALSO: I can't believe I'm typing this, but out of an abundance of caution I am putting a content warning for the blackmilk christmas lookbook section for their weird... I'm going to be charitable and say miscommunication between the copy and photo team that results in a weirdly incestuous vibe! You can skip to 30 mins to go past the lookbook and into the quizzes segment.

We make our glorious return to shake off the cobwebs, chat about scams involving beloved 2000s brands, and lay out some predictions for the third Fantastic Beasts movie that is still happening, somehow. SUPPOSEDLY the real answers are out there... we wouldn't know, though.

We're talking about Fantastic Beasts a lot here which means I should give a general content warning for that movie which, if you've forgotten, involves a surprising amount of sexual violence for a Harry Potter movie, as well as general tastelessness.

Deathly Hallows Pt. 2 film. The time has come! Before our well-earned pre-Cursed Child break, we watched the final Harry Potter film, and we have so many questions. What worked? What didn't? What was changed? Why is Molly standing everywhere? Why did Voldemort bust when Ron and Hermione destroyed the cup of Ravenclaw? And did this mf really say ponsieve? All this and more in this feature-length episode--including our official Movie Rankings discussion to match last week's book list!

Also, a huge thanks to crocoshift on twitter for the incredible Cameo from Tom. holy shit

Deathly Hallows epilogue. We did it! We've crossed the finish line. While we still have the movie and more to cover, we're officially finished with the 7 books proper. Does the epilogue provide any emotional closure or worthwhile information to round out the rushed final chapter before it, or does it earn its fairly scornful reputation even among die-hard Harry Potter fans? Well, I'll give you a hint: immediately after the book came out JK Rowling started passing new and extra information out like candy in some interviews we read to supplement it. Finally, we do what all great podcasts must do: we rank stuff!

Deathly Hallows chapter 35. This is it. This is the end of Harry Potter proper--sure, we still have to read an epilogue, but this is where the Story Ends! And what an ending it is. For a book this long, it sure sprints to a conclusion, and we're here in this bumper-length episode to do our best to pick up all of the threads it leaves hanging. When did Ron and Hermione stop being characters? Why does Wand Lore matter? Who are the Fallen Fifty? Is that too many or too few dead for a big epic battle? Do the renters of Hogsmeade show up? All this and much, much more, including the exasperating Hogwarts Legacy news. WHOM could have PREDICTED such a tragedy!? (If you don't feel like listening to the news, the chapter discussion begins at 32:00)

Note: this was recorded before the WHOM COULD HAVE FORESEEN news about the game--tune in next week for that one

Deathly Hallows chapter 35. We had an extra week to let this chapter sink in, but did it help? We try to parse the Matrix Revolutions chapter where Harry talks to a Dumbledore ghost inside his head who claims that this is all happening in Harry's imagination yet offers him and the audience a bunch of extremely literal answers with new information, and that's not even the weirdest part of this whole thing! We theorize what this could possibly be trying to say, what actually matters in the New Lore, what answers are missing, and whether or not we'd help a flayed monster creature lying on the ground. Finally, we return to the world of Imagines, and compete in an impromptu guessing game.

Deathly Hallows chapter 35. We check in with what life is like with a Snape Jersey and dish about the latest Fantastic Beasts production mishaps before getting theological (again)! This week's chapter is a fan favorite, full of emotional moments and inspiring quotes about death that you've probably seen on coffee mugs, forum signatures, and tattoos for over a decade. Does it hold up, though? Not in the slightest, but it is accidentally fascinating and full of conflicting ideas and also there's a bit where Hagrid is tied to a tree for some reason. If you don't have a sugar stomachache after hearing us read saccharine descriptions of Harry's brave march to his death, stick around for the third segment where we take some reddit burning questions and spin a few theories of our own. Are our ideas horror? Comedy? You decide!