Queen Conny is 96 years old and not afraid to die. She gets angry, she holds onto grudges and she has no tolerance for liars. She’s also got 18 virtual reality boyfriends and killer style. She’s been sober for 48 years and while she hasn’t always loved AA, she credits it with changing her relationship with God. This is NOT a conversation about aging gracefully. It’s a conversation about getting older and accepting that even at 96, you may still yell at someone at the grocery store.

This week on The Small Bow Podcast, you’re invited to join us for a Small Bow Meeting. A Small Bow Meeting is not a 12-step meeting, but we rip off most of their format. It is not necessary for participants to identify as an alcoholic or addict. This meeting is open to people who suffer from issues related to mental illness, drugs, love, sex, food, debt, codependency, inadequacy, or anything else that’s bringing you down.

Swamp Dogg is a country, soul and R&B singer, musician, songwriter and record producer. He has influenced multiple generations of musicians with his defiantly idiosyncratic discography and has been described by Pitchfork as one of “pop’s great cult acts.” He also happens to sing The Small Bow theme song. He stopped by the studio to discuss his long career, his lifelong search for happiness, and his new album Swamp Dogg Contemplates the Afterlife. I tried to get him to contemplate the afterlife in this conversation, but he wasn’t in the mood. That said, it’s always a pleasure to spend time with a true original— when you get in the room with Swamp Dogg, you never know where you’ll wind up.

Megan Koester is a writer and stand-up comedian who isn’t writing and won’t promote her stand-up. In my opinion, she should be doing more of both of those things but hey, it’s not up to me. I wanted to have Megan back on the show to talk about self-sabotage and becoming your own worst enemy. Plus, being an atheist in recovery rooms, EMDR and weaponized trauma and how to use craigslist ephemera as self-promotion.

New episodes release every Wednesday.

00:00:00 Resenting Your Gifts and Half-Assing Comedy

00:01:06 Why I Hate Video Podcasts

00:02:00 What is EMDR Therapy?

00:04:00 Understanding Childhood Neglect and CPTSD

00:05:30 Dissociation, Trauma, and Coping Mechanisms

00:06:30 The Reality of Relapse and Alcohol Addiction

00:07:52 Desperation, Mental Health, and "The Body Keeps the Score"

00:09:34 Seeking Validation and Re-Parenting Yourself

00:12:12 Overcoming Creative Self-Sabotage and Minimization

00:14:14 An Agnostic View on Spiritual Healing

00:21:00 Navigating the Hollywood Entertainment Industry

00:26:00 Defining Success, Sobriety, and Artistic Expression

When I want to know what’s going on in Hollywood, I turn to Richard Rushfield. Richard is a columnist for the Ankler, his influential newsletter about the state of the entertainment industry. He is also sober, and decided to stop by our show on his 30th sobriety anniversary. We talk about how sobriety has changed his work ethic and made him more comfortable in his own skin. We also discuss the state of sobriety in Hollywood: from Shia Labeouf to Matthew Perry and why it may take a “Me-Too” size reckoning for the industry to kick its addiction to child labor.

For this episode of The Small Bow Podcast, my friend Peaceful John joins the show to answer some of your questions about recovery. It should be obvious pretty quickly why I call him Peaceful John. We talk about how to set boundaries with aging parents, how to avoid turning your grief into a weapon, how to care less, how to feel more… basically how to deal with your own sh*t. Thanks to everyone who wrote in (I may have snuck some questions in myself) and thanks to John for showing up and providing some answers.

For this episode of The Small Bow Podcast, my friend Peaceful John joins the show to answer some of your questions about recovery. It should be obvious pretty quickly why I call him Peaceful John. We talk about how to set boundaries with aging parents, how to avoid turning your grief into a weapon, how to care less, how to feel more… basically how to deal with your own sh*t. Thanks to everyone who wrote in (I may have snuck some questions in myself) and thanks to John for showing up and providing some answers.

Mary H. K. Choi stops by the show for our annual meeting of the dead dads club and a conversation about her new book Pool House. We discuss the major changes in Mary’s life that informed the writing of this book, including her autism diagnosis and the loss of her dad, and the ways that this round of self-promotion has led to new appreciation for her community. Plus, why 12-step is genius, why 20 year-olds are awesome and why Marilu Henner’s still got it.

Death, Sex and Money is where I go for a jolt of connection to something bigger than myself. Anna Sale hosts that show and is also the author of the book Let’s Talk About Hard Things. On this episode, we talk about the moment Anna realized she didn’t understand death nearly as much as she thought she did. We also get into the origins of Death, Sex and Money and the role that Anna’s visit to recovery rooms in Brooklyn played in her formulation of the show. Plus, how to find the perfect song for when your dad is dying and why we both love Jeff Hiller.

Ryan O’Connell had an uncommon path to fame. After starting as a blogger in New York, he wrote a TV script about his life as a young, gay man with Cerebral Palsy. When the show was picked up by Netflix, the network insisted he star in it as well. Now that Special is in the rearview mirror, Ryan has gone back to his roots as a writer. He has a new book of essays out, called Inspiration Porn, which describes his life in Hollywood and the ways he has processed sudden and unexpected celebrity. Oh, and there’s a lot of sex in the book too. In this episode, we talk about intimacy, disability, addiction and the ways that Ryan and I have both felt ambivalent about the promise of “being seen.” Plus, we discuss Ryan’s sobriety, his impressive career confidence and the finer points of Herbie: Fully Loaded.

Turns out Langhorne Slim and I have a lot in common. We both grew up in the Philly suburbs, we spent formative creative years in New York and we became dads in our forties. We’re also both in recovery. Langhorne’s got a new album out called The Dreaming Kind and he stopped by the studio to chat before playing a show at the Troubadour in LA. In this episode, we talk about the ways we’ve both struggled with the idea of “home.” Plus, forgiving the teachers who failed you, building creative community and the hard spiritual work of being a parent when you’re busy re-parenting yourself.