This week on The Snark Side, we’re recapping the full season (except the weddings and reunion) of Love Is Blind: France—a dating experiment that promised romance in the pods but delivered emotional whiplash, missed red flags, and enough awkward silences to fill the Louvre. Jay’s outraged by the ghosting epidemic, Danielle’s exhausted from emotionally parenting half the cast, and we’re both wondering if anyone actually liked each other. From Luc’s commitment-phobic villain arc to Maxime’s Olympic-level dodging of accountability, to Anna’s mascara-streaked journey of self-worth, this season gave drama, denial, and designer fits with zero follow-through. The weddings ranged from sweet to cinematic heartbreak, the reunion was a subtitled fever dream, and through it all, one thing became clear: love might be blind, but the ick is fluent in French.

It’s Season 6, Episode 5 of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, and Angie just went full gladiator with a black Amex and a toy horse. This week on The Snark Side, Jay’s still emotionally recovering from the words “Soup Man,” Danielle’s triggered by Bronwyn’s Muzzy-related trauma spiral, and both of us are cackling, crying, and kinda scared of whatever haunted house Mary was talking about. Lisa’s stirring the pot with off-camera allegations, Meredith’s trying to stay serene while getting hit with psychic chaos, and Heather’s fake-mediator energy is giving gold-star instigator. Britani gets iced out of the family biz, Jared won’t stop texting, and every bouquet on set collapses like it’s had enough of this cast. Between the spiritual warfare, passive-aggressive wine tasting, and Angie screaming “kiss the ring” while desecrating a child’s toy, we have to ask: is this Housewives or performance art? Either way, grab a bellini and buckle up—Salt Lake is unwell, and we’re obsessed.

In Season 9, Episode 10 of Love Is Blind, wedding pressure hits peak meltdown mode—when one contestant abruptly exits the experiment entirely, leaving a void at the altar and chaos in her wake. Kacie sprints from the commitment, insisting she can’t fake attraction, while Patrick and the production scramble to rejig everything. Meanwhile, the remaining pairs juggle dress fittings, drinking dramas, family messes, and red‐flag energy (Edmond, we see you). Danielle’s all for calling out emotional cowardice, Jay’s already collecting receipts, and both agree: you don’t need a ring to know something derailed badly.

Season 16 of 7 Little Johnstons kicks off with enough emotional whiplash to require its own neck brace. Trent’s white matter disease diagnosis (yes, that’s a real thing—Google it, babes) forces him, Jonah, and Alex to start CPAP-ing for their lives, while Amber continues her reign as the sleep-deprived matriarch of micromanagement. Anna’s still semi-exiled over a graduation gown, a little underage drinking, and a whole lot of parental control issues, and let’s just say—Danielle is not having the “accountability” talk from two people who have also been messy on camera. Meanwhile, Nana is grieving Poppy and relocating, Leighton’s getting her swim on, and Bryce might be prepping a proposal that no one’s ready for (except maybe Elizabeth’s eyebrows). Jay is convinced Trent’s the sleeper villain, Danielle is defending Anna’s right to peace, and both agree: 16 seasons in, this family still delivers the drama in bite-sized, passive-aggressive servings.

It’s Season 6, Episode 4 of Seeking Sister Wife, and these couples are serving delusion with a side of dysfunction. Dani’s quietly panicking while Yessel makes mac and cheese noises and calls it romance. Garrick (aka “The Ick”) is comparing himself to Jesus again, and Dannielle looks one sermon away from walking into the woods. Meanwhile, Matt and Anjelica are either building a plural family—or a reality TV cautionary tale. Reddit’s not holding back, and neither are we. Between shady flashbacks, emotional manipulation, and boundary-blind husbands, the only thing polygamous here is the gaslighting. Is anyone actually here for sisterhood… or just extra sex and unpaid childcare? Either way, it’s a spiritual mess—and we’re watching every second.

It’s Season 7, Episode 6 of 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way, and Madelein just turned Luke’s bachelor party confession into a food fight that screams wedding canceled. Meanwhile, Matthew and Greta are battling over who’s broke, who’s bougie, and why massages are apparently a must-have while life is crashing down. Enter Pattiya and Dylan, the new “May-December” couple with a history of breakups, failed moves, and a Tasmanian adventure that’s either love or lunacy. Oh, and somewhere in the chaos, there’s a random Hindi car tutorial making a cameo—because why not? Between thrown dinners, financial shade, and age-gap drama, we’re left wondering: is this a romance or a reality check? Either way, we’re hooked.

It’s Season 10, Episode 3 of Below Deck Mediterranean, and the only thing floating smoothly is the chaos. Guests are left drifting in the ocean like unwanted opinions, Christian’s jet ski instructions are vibes-based at best, and Max and the hose are locked in a battle of egos. Kizzi’s spilling more than drinks, V is spiraling over laundry and life, and Nathan’s just trying not to combust on deck. Josh is in the galley plating confusion with a side of missing truffles, while Aesha deserves a Nobel Peace Prize for not throwing anyone overboard. Captain Sandy’s watching it all with quiet judgment, and frankly? Same. Between the jet ski trauma, hose fights, and STD monologues, this yacht feels less like a vacation and more like a floating HR violation—and we’re living for it.

It’s Season 9, Episode 15 of 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?, and Jasmine’s immigration dreams are hanging by a thread—and that thread is made of tears, suspicion, and Gino’s possible betrayal. Brandon and Julia are planning a European escape while Brandon’s mom spirals into full “go back to Russia” mode, and we are not okay. Loren and Elizabeth try to fake-fix their frenemyship with hugs that feel like hostage negotiations, while Darcey’s finally reconnecting with her daughter after a long-distance silence that could've been its own season. This week on The Snark Side, Jay is side-eyeing every fake reconciliation, Danielle’s crying on Jasmine’s behalf, and we’re both asking: is this “Happily Ever After”—or just the world’s messiest group chat with immigration involved?

It’s The Real Housewives of Potomac Season 10, Episode 2—aka the “Mint to Be Shady” hour, where ladies are tossing breath mints like bombs and receipts like confetti. Stacey finds herself under siege from Ashley, Keiarna, Wendy, and the whole pack—her divorce docs get scrutinized, her timelines get challenged, and a rumor about her texting Chris Samuels drops mid‑breakfast like a grenade. Angel tries to bring zen with a “Truths & Tranquilitea” event (spoiler: it’s more shade than serenity). Meanwhile, Ashley is back in the dating game, rumors swirl about cannabis ventures, and Karen’s birthday breakfast becomes ground zero for gossip. This week on The Snark Side, Jay’s dissecting every contradiction with surgical precision, Danielle is clutching her pearls over every wig shift, and together we’re asking: is this a truly shady mint moment—or just an appetizer to the chaos to come?

It’s Sister Wives Season 20, Episode 3, and the Brown family is officially in move‑mode—even if Mother Nature didn’t get the memo. Kody and Robyn are meeting with a realtor over a cash offer and battling over whether to take that ostentatious dining table (because of course), while Mykelti and Tony are driving straight into literal tornado territory as clouds, hail, and existential dread descend. Christine and David ride shotgun (emotionally and physically) to support them through windshield damage, relocation stress, and the ever‑looming weight of family history. Everyone’s trying to start fresh, but the ghosts of past decisions (and a table that won’t bend) keep showing up. This week on The Snark Side, Jay’s digging into Kody’s motives, Danielle’s crying over chipped windows, and together we’re asking: is this a family in transition or a reality show version of The Weather Channel? Either way, we’re locked in.