The Sportive

• Head scratching and back slapping over our "Best MN Sports Podcast" award from City Pages
• Wild playoff preview including Keys to the Series (spoiler alert: the keys are Cooperalls and weird trash talk)
• The Twins are garbage but we have two silver linings, both related to boners
• Out of context quote: "Hairless Twink Ads"
• Unhinged griping about the Wolves, who even in this terrible sports town are the most hopeless franchise
• Footie stadium talk

In summary, we started the episode wondering how we won an award and then spent 75 minutes justifying our confusion. ENJOY.

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• Our dumbest statements over the first 99 episodes
• Jon setting a world record for worst explanation of the NHL playoff structure
• Some very necessary Twins venting
• Ask Sportive: our most hated team, our favorite generation, ranking outstate cities, the beer we're drinking, food, etc.

Thanks for listening to our meandering BS, friends. On to the next 100.

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• "Who the shit is JR Graham?"
  
• "Nick Punto exists to be accidentally punched" 
• "A touch of Rob Deer"
• "Ozzie's getting an ice cream helmet"
• "What I'm hoping for is a bunch of injuries"
• "The inexplicability of some of these...(20-second sigh)"

Things got dark in a hurry and never turned around. Move along, optimists. Nothing to see here.

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Topics:

• Brandon's whiny Vegas recap
• BIG FOOTY NEWS from Jon, MN soccer's OG fan
• Are AP and his agent really this stupid?
• The official Sportive stance on public funding
• Wild still good / Twins still bad
• Idea: platoon fifth starter

Plus we hit our tangents quota. Give 'er a listen, friends.

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This week, Brandon went to Las Vegas instead of calling in, leaving the rest of us to flounder through. We even resorted to actually looking up facts, for the first time in the history of the podcast, so listen to us type the following into Wikipedia:

• Just how bad was Gopher basketball this year?
• Why Devan Dubnyk maybe doesn't need as much of a rest as some seem to think
• The Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act
• No, seriously, that was a thing we looked up
• Our anti-Iowa and anti-Wisconsin NCAA tournament rooting interests
• Northern Iowa, the Quinnipiac of the Midwest
• Soccer? Soccer!

Come back soon, Brandon. We miss you.

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Brandon, Stu, and Jon head for Grumpy's in Roseville to have a Bloody Mary and discuss:

• What's the best suburb?
• Matt Cassel, Shaun Hill, Mike Wallace, Greg Jennings, and how much Clarence loves Rick Spielman (Clarence wasn't there)
• What can we find to be mad about, with the Twins?
• Brandon is going to Vegas to watch hoops
• New Minnesota soccer web site Northern Pitch, and how you should be reading it, and how it's breaking news
• Why Devan Dubnyk will never be the MVP but probably should be
• Things are looking up for Minnesota hockey
• Benjamin Booker, the best new music

It was a good brunch crowd. Why we didn't invite Aaron Gleeman is beyond me.

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• Cassel trade
• AP: maybe not so good of a guy
• Why Jon hates small town hockey
• AA State teams to root for
• Al Meyer predictions, or how to reverse troll
• Whether Sano weighing 500 pounds bothers us
• BUX CHUBS

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• KG trade
• Wild outlook
• Beerfest
• Brandon admits to being a hothead prick
• We laugh for 45 minutes about a tweet from our pal Mike Rand
• A new segment called "Clarence's Rants: Directors Cut"
• A bunch of other BS that we've already forgotten

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• All the positivity in this town just sucks
• Russo v. Swamptown
• Whether or not Curt Flood was a real person
• RIP golf
• The athlete with the most interesting life story
• Over-the-hill singers and bucket lists
• We detail our extensive romantic plans for Valentine's Day

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